Are monks allowed to have contact with their parents?

Discussion of ordination, the Vinaya and monastic life. How and where to ordain? Bhikkhuni ordination etc.
Nibbana
Posts: 32
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:37 pm

Are monks allowed to have contact with their parents?

Postby Nibbana » Fri Apr 21, 2017 4:49 pm

I have had a talk with my parents on this subject, as I am planning to visit and ordain in Amaravati if everything goes well.

My mother told me that she wanted me to phone her every week or every 2 weeks or so.
I told her that that is not possible to have contact on a regular basis like that, but I am not sure about it.
Personally I think that she is still too attached and looks for ways not to "lose" me.


I can feel her pain and clinging, but I have no interest to give up my plans to ordain.
Since the beginning of this year I am watching the mind closely and have had some great breakthroughs.
The heart wants to join the Sangha and nothing else.
It's like seeing an escape from jail and prisoners(my parents in this case) trying to hold me in prison.

Her clinging is actually pushing me further and makes me want to visit them less.
She still wants to control the situation by keeping in touch after ordination, I guess out of fear or attachment.
If it's up to me however no contact at all, except in case there are major issues like sickness or death, would be the best.

So what are the rules actually?

:anjali:
"Then you understand the brilliance of the Buddha's teaching of anatta, goes right to the heart of everything. They say the Dhamma is the source, not going to it's consequences not papancha, but going right into the very middle, the very essence, the very heart, the atta what you take to be you. From the body into the mind thinking, from the mind into the doer, from the doer into the knower. You can see you're not the knower, you can see you're not the doer..."

-Ajahn Brahm

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Mr Man
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Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:42 am

Re: Are monks allowed to have contact with their parents?

Postby Mr Man » Fri Apr 21, 2017 5:20 pm

Hi Nibbana
Yes monks are allowed contact with their parents.

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gavesako
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Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:16 pm
Location: England

Re: Are monks allowed to have contact with their parents?

Postby gavesako » Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:20 pm

Calling your parents once a week should be fine.
Bhikkhu Gavesako
Kiṃkusalagavesī anuttaraṃ santivarapadaṃ pariyesamāno... (MN 26)

ajahnchah.org - Teachings of Ajahn Chah in many languages
Ancient Buddhist Texts - Translations and history of Pali texts
Dhammatalks.org - Sutta translations

Nibbana
Posts: 32
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:37 pm

Re: Are monks allowed to have contact with their parents?

Postby Nibbana » Sat Apr 22, 2017 6:41 am

Thank you for the info Mr Man and venerable Gavesako.

Now the clinging will become less and the process will be smoother for them and for me.

:anjali:
"Then you understand the brilliance of the Buddha's teaching of anatta, goes right to the heart of everything. They say the Dhamma is the source, not going to it's consequences not papancha, but going right into the very middle, the very essence, the very heart, the atta what you take to be you. From the body into the mind thinking, from the mind into the doer, from the doer into the knower. You can see you're not the knower, you can see you're not the doer..."

-Ajahn Brahm


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