how to give merit to loved ones when they died?

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confusedlayman
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how to give merit to loved ones when they died?

Post by confusedlayman »

Hey guys, just asking whats the real way to give merit to loved ones when we dont know where they are? we cant predict their rebirth but know that they are not arhants or anagami. so if i do metta and say let the merit go to them is it enough? will they get promoted to brahma world?

or should i chant pali words and they hear it and transform themselves? what if they are in human womb without sence faculties develop. ?
You can become king of world with all the wealth but it is not equal to 0.1 % of jhana pleasure...

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Kusala
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Re: how to give merit to loved ones when they died?

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Seek approval first...Listen to Thanissaro @ 6:30 - 8:50

"He, the Blessed One, is indeed the Noble Lord, the Perfectly Enlightened One;
He is impeccable in conduct and understanding, the Serene One, the Knower of the Worlds;
He trains perfectly those who wish to be trained; he is Teacher of gods and men; he is Awake and Holy. "

--------------------------------------------
"The Dhamma is well-expounded by the Blessed One,
Apparent here and now, timeless, encouraging investigation,
Leading to liberation, to be experienced individually by the wise. "

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Ordinaryperson
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Re: how to give merit to loved ones when they died?

Post by Ordinaryperson »

Hey guys, just asking whats the real way to give merit to loved ones when we dont know where they are? we cant predict their rebirth but know that they are not arhants or anagami. so if i do metta and say let the merit go to them is it enough?
When you are performing good deeds think of the departed loved ones.

Alternatively, you can chant the merit verse by pouring water (just like the way they perform in temple) to ground.

I performed the merit chat followed by pouring water just for the random departed ones to see if it works and they came to thank me in my dreams (a few times). If you know the name of the person just dedicate the merit water to that person.

I have also dreamed of the rebirth process where people went through the process of rebirth. i.e. those in the lower realm and those in slightly higher realm. In the lower realm rebirth all the people looked very sad and the location was dark with no daylight. In the slightly higher realm rebirth people were generally very cheerful and the location was bright with good daylight. However, in both realms just before they took their rebirth they stripped off all their clothing or left them behind. I remember after pouring the merit water dedication and in one of my dream people I was acting (with my parents and one family friend) like a "gatekeeper" letting people into a hall to wait for something. One woman was very happy to see me (she appeared out of thin air) and handed me a piece of paper (I then gave the paper to my parents) then told the lady to wait in the hall. After a while I went to the hall to wish everyone a happy journey. After a while I returned to the hall again only to see all their clothings were left behind. I knew they had all taken rebirth. About 300 to 400 people in the hall before they disappeared.
will they get promoted to brahma world?
No. They don't go to Brahma world that way no matter the amount of merit you dedicated to them. I think in one of my dream I visited the Braham world, I guess. The reason I say this is that the whole place was only monks with different traditions. All males and no female. I have yet to confirm this but I think it is lower Brahma world.
or should i chant pali words and they hear it and transform themselves? what if they are in human womb without sence faculties develop. ?
You can try as there is no harm done. The easiest is to think of them whenever you have performed good deeds. If they are already in human womb then they are already in this material world waiting to be born. No harm trying but I don't think it is necessary as the person is just a different person with no relation to you any more. i.e. no self.
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~ Greed is the greatest danger of them all ~

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confusedlayman
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Re: how to give merit to loved ones when they died?

Post by confusedlayman »

Ordinaryperson wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 2:52 am
Hey guys, just asking whats the real way to give merit to loved ones when we dont know where they are? we cant predict their rebirth but know that they are not arhants or anagami. so if i do metta and say let the merit go to them is it enough?
When you are performing good deeds think of the departed loved ones.

Alternatively, you can chant the merit verse by pouring water (just like the way they perform in temple) to ground.

I performed the merit chat followed by pouring water just for the random departed ones to see if it works and they came to thank me in my dreams (a few times). If you know the name of the person just dedicate the merit water to that person.

I have also dreamed of the rebirth process where people went through the process of rebirth. i.e. those in the lower realm and those in slightly higher realm. In the lower realm rebirth all the people looked very sad and the location was dark with no daylight. In the slightly higher realm rebirth people were generally very cheerful and the location was bright with good daylight. However, in both realms just before they took their rebirth they stripped off all their clothing or left them behind. I remember after pouring the merit water dedication and in one of my dream people I was acting (with my parents and one family friend) like a "gatekeeper" letting people into a hall to wait for something. One woman was very happy to see me (she appeared out of thin air) and handed me a piece of paper (I then gave the paper to my parents) then told the lady to wait in the hall. After a while I went to the hall to wish everyone a happy journey. After a while I returned to the hall again only to see all their clothings were left behind. I knew they had all taken rebirth. About 300 to 400 people in the hall before they disappeared.
will they get promoted to brahma world?
No. They don't go to Brahma world that way no matter the amount of merit you dedicated to them. I think in one of my dream I visited the Braham world, I guess. The reason I say this is that the whole place was only monks with different traditions. All males and no female. I have yet to confirm this but I think it is lower Brahma world.
or should i chant pali words and they hear it and transform themselves? what if they are in human womb without sence faculties develop. ?
You can try as there is no harm done. The easiest is to think of them whenever you have performed good deeds. If they are already in human womb then they are already in this material world waiting to be born. No harm trying but I don't think it is necessary as the person is just a different person with no relation to you any more. i.e. no self.
Hi, how thinking about them transfers the karma..
You can become king of world with all the wealth but it is not equal to 0.1 % of jhana pleasure...

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