What is suffering?

[Swatantra]

Is suffering different for each person or is an umbrella term? Is it subjective to each person and their experiences?
I have experienced suffering in my life but through meeting various people and reading spiritual books, I learned that every cloud really does have a silver lining and everything happens for a reason. I learned to look through suffering and to look forward to either realising the lesson I learned from it or what door would open because of it.
Nowadays I do not really really see certain events suffering because of this. Of course we all get Ill and feel like crap, we suffer when we are ill, but things like aging I do not see as suffering. It is inevitable, it is beautiful, it is a journey of discovery and life lived with different insight.
I love every aspect of my life, the ups and the downs, so I do not feel like I am suffering, even when others would expect me to.

Any insight or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Maybe I am just too optimistic!?
Thanks

[santa100]

I love every aspect of my life, the ups and the downs, so I do not feel like I am suffering, even when others would expect me to.

Because regular people only see suffering at its most superficial layer. The word Dukkha goes much deeper than just "suffering". There're 3 layers to it, one'd need certain amount of practice and contemplation to see the 2 deeper layers. The Wiki page gives a pretty decent introduction to Dukkha.

[ryanM]

[Bhikkhu Pesala]

I do not feel like I am suffering, even when others would expect me to.

Any insight or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Maybe I am just too optimistic!?
Thanks

The first noble truth is subtle and difficult to realise. It does not mean just physical and mental pain, but existence itself is unsatisfactory (dukkha). If we understood it fully, we would be an Arahant. Due to delusion and ignorance we see the impermanent as stable, we see suffering as happiness, and what is not-self as "I, me, or mine."

The Truth of Suffering is expounded quite fully in the Satipaṭṭhāna Sutta.

[User156079]

Parting with what is dear, not experiencing what one likes, experiencing what one dislikes, uncontrollably being assailed, harassed and molested by sights, feelings & thoughts disagreeable or enticing, being assailed by states of lacking, by pains and aches, cravings, worries and fears, being subject to old age, to sickness and death. Some of it is repetition but it is what it is.

[Bundokji]

Suffering is vulnerability even if we do not experience it all the time, and as Ven. Pesala indicated, it is intrinsic to existence.

Your existence, as a human, depends on certain conditions, so is your well being. Think about temperature for instance, it keeps on fluctuating, and our comfort zone is a razor thin. We are vulnerable to feeling hot or cold all the time, and we try to control those conditioned (temperature in this particular case) to avoid suffering. This circle of vulnerability and our endless attempts to avoid it through control is suffering. In other words, to understand suffering is to see that we are ultimately "defeated" and that the nature of existence is "irreparably flawed".

[WindDancer]

Thanks for the discussion. I appreciate what each of you have shared.

Over the years as I have mindfully watched and felt my experiences, I discovered that I was perpetually dissatisfied. I was never truly content or grateful. I almost always felt this pull to act to make things differently than they were at the time. Sometimes this rose to the level of feeling desperation. I felt that I needed to be someone different, somewhere else different, doing something different with someone else different, experiencing something else different so that I would be happy and okay.

I did an exercise that was recommended. I was told to make a list of all the conditions in myself and in my life that I felt I had to have to be happy, content and at peace forever. If I could be anything I wanted, experience anything I wanted and have anything I wanted, what would these be?

I made the list. I deeply longed for some of the things I listed, feeling that I couldn't do without them. Other things had less of a hold. As I compared this list to my life, I experienced craving/clinging or anger/aversion depending on whether I was trying to get or get rid of particular conditions. My teacher asked me if I had everything I said I had to have and it had to stay that way forever, would I sustain being happy, content and at peace? I quickly experienced this deep pull inside. If I got everything I demanded, I still wouldn't remain satisfied forever. I would get bored and ask if this is all there is to life. He asked me how much money was enough, how many music CD's were enough, how much sex, power, prestige, etc. was enough. I clearly saw that Dukkha/dissatisfaction was endless.

I had an experience around the same period of my life that helped to wake me up even more. I had made the list, and it brought to the surface my feelings of being dissatisfied and upset. I felt a strong demand that I just had to have a particular career, state of health, wife, house, lifestyle, etc. in order to be happy. I have a life altering chronic illness which landed me in the hospital for approximately a week in the midst of all this angst. After a couple of days of internal struggling, I had a few days where I was really happy and settled. A flash of insight--I was very ill, did not have my career, did not have my freedom to go and do what I wanted, didn't have all the material things I demanded, and I was happy, full of joy and at peace. I saw the truth that though I need certain conditions in life to survive, the solution to my dissatisfaction was not going to be found by desperately chasing conditions. This pervasive dissatisfaction was ever present, and the Buddha offered us a Path of liberation.

[2600htz]

Hello:

There is nothing wrong about being optimistic or having a positive view on how suffering occurs, that is always helpful.
But whats cool about buddhism is that its not a philosophy, its about directly seeing how the process of suffering occurs so we can find relief.

Thats why the Buddha "roared his lion's roar":

" "I see no ground on which any recluse... or anyone at all could accuse me thus: 'Those things called obstructions by you are not able to obstruct one who engages in them.' And seeing no ground for that, I abide in safety, fearlessness and intrepidity."

He is absolutely sure that people will experience hindrances, and that people who become involved in them will suffer, no matter what philosophy they try to advocate. He is absolutely sure because he has seen how the all process works in a very deep way, and everyone´s mind work in the same way.

Regards.

[Swatantra]

Thank you all so much for your replies. I have a greater understanding of suffering now, after your explanations and also doing a little self study to further my understanding.
Suffering is not just the absence of joy or happiness within our emotional state. It is putting on a jumber so we do not feel cold, putting on bug spray so we don't get bitten, cooling down our food so we don't get burnt, finding shelter so we do not get too hot or too cold, wearing shoes so we do not hurt our feet. It is not knowing, indecision, the inability to get away from our thoughts. We suffer because we cannot separate ourselves from our thoughts, emotions and ego. It is only when we can silence the mind and lose all ego that we can be free of suffering. If we are able to perceive suffering then it is an object of the mind and not the mind itself.

Please correct me if I am mistaken at all. This is just my new understanding of suffering.

[Mkoll]

I do not feel like I am suffering, even when others would expect me to.

Any insight or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Maybe I am just too optimistic!?
Thanks

The first noble truth is subtle and difficult to realise. It does not mean just physical and mental pain, but existence itself is unsatisfactory (dukkha). If we understood it fully, we would be an Arahant. Due to delusion and ignorance we see the impermanent as stable, we see suffering as happiness, and what is not-self as "I, me, or mine."

The Truth of Suffering is expounded quite fully in the Satipaṭṭhāna Sutta.

Also OP, I suggest you read SN 56.11 which is the Buddha's first sermon. It defines suffering (the most common translation for dukkha), its cause, its cessation, and way to its cessation. To begin to understand dukkha for ourselves, we learn and practice the Buddha's teachings.

[Swatantra]

Thank you