Pebble wrote:I've began noticing that I am a very negative person
There is no such thing as a "negative person". You might be a person who experiences negative thoughts and emotions, but these are just thoughts and emotions. Don't own them, don't identify with them, don't "become" them.
I might believe I am a negative person and because of that belief I expect myself to behave negatively. Because of that expectation I live up to that and act negatively. Then because I act negatively I start thinking "I am a negative person". If I believe that thought then it can become a vicious cycle. If I am mindful I can see this process taking place and not get caught up in it.
Having said this, however, mindfulness and meditation are not a "cure for everything". It may be the case that some professional help is needed.
i always feel down, never smile, seem depressed and morbid.
It is important to differentiate between just feeling a little down and clinical depression. Feeling down is something everyone experiences from time to time and is nothing to be concerned about, but if it is clinical depression then I would advise seeking professional help. If in doubt, it is best to see a specialist.
Maybe its why people stay away from me too and i have little friends. Most of the day I spend thinking about how bad and unlucky my life is, how I cant find a job and don't have money. I complain to my friends and people on the internet, even people on the street about how bad things are.
Perhaps some volunteer work would be beneficial for you. This could be beneficial in several ways:
1) You are giving your time to help others which can be very rewarding in its own right
2) You are less focused on your self and therefore less concerned about your problems
3) The experience may make you more attractive to employees and therefore help you get a job
I know people who are VERY positive, there is a girl I know that ALWAYS has a smile on her face, always optimistic about everything, she is full of happiness and joy. I am naturally drawn to her because her aura is so positive. I wonder how people are like that, were they like that all their lives or did they learn to be, and can I learn to be that way?
Yep, its a skill you can learn. I used to be quite anti-social, I never quite knew how to relate to other people since I was always so self-focused. I am still more of an introvert than an extrovert now, but I am a lot friendlier when I am around other people. This comes with practice. Metta (loving kindness) meditation is particularly useful in this regard. If you want I can give you some links on how to develop the skilful intention of loving kindness.
I want to be like that, I want to stop emitting darkness and start emitting light!!!
Awesome, you have taken the first step in the right direction already. Wanting to replace our bad habits with good habits is the first step towards doing so.