Creating a Practice When Life is Hard

[Kim OHara]

I just came across this and the advice in it is so sensible that I thought I should share it.

On Creating a Mindfulness Practice When Just Showing Up To Life is Hard
Laura Khoudari
I am on a mission to increase people’s capacity to practice self-care, and normalizing the difficult aspects of self-care has the potential to empower more folks to take on self-care practices.

I cannot measure how much time I have spent staring at my meditation cushion, crying on my meditation cushion, crying on other meditation cushions while in public, feeling completely misunderstood by meditation teachers, and having an overall misperception of myself as a “bad meditator.” ...

While there are numerous resources out there to teach one how to establish a mindfulness practice, I found myself feeling very alone in the challenges I faced that were specific to me as I cultivated a mindfulness practice while in the throes of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). ...

https://medium.com/@laura.khoudari/on-c ... 0599c34742

The problems she discusses are all quite common and her solutions seem very appropriate.


Kim

[Crazy cloud]

Just loved it and wanted to clap until I was tired, but then one sees that , yeah you can clap if you sign in to some "trap" or I don't know, but don't feel for at all - It takes away the power of messages like that!

Hmmm ...

[Dhammarakkhito]

This was said by the Blessed One, said by the Arahant, so I have heard: "These four things are next to nothing, both easy to gain and blameless. Which four? Cast-off cloth is next to nothing, both easy to gain and blameless. Alms food is next to nothing, both easy to gain and blameless. The root of a tree as a dwelling place is next to nothing, both easy to gain and blameless. Medicine made of smelly urine[1] is next to nothing, both easy to gain and blameless. These are the four things that are next to nothing, both easy to gain and blameless. When a monk is content with what is next to nothing, easy to gain and blameless, then I say that he has one of the component factors of the contemplative

Content with what's blameless,
next-to-nothing,
easy to gain,
his mind not vexed
over lodging, clothing,
food, or drink:
the four directions offer him
no obstruction.
These things are declared
congenial for the contemplative life,
possessed by the monk
heedful, content.
http://obo.genaud.net/dhamma-vinaya/ati ... an.ati.htm
[1] This is one of a monk's basic requisites. There is some disagreement as to whether it refers to medicine pickled in urine, or to the use of urine as a medicine (as is still practiced in parts of Asia today).

[retrofuturist]

Greetings,

I cannot measure how much time I have spent staring at my meditation cushion, crying on my meditation cushion, crying on other meditation cushions while in public, feeling completely misunderstood by meditation teachers, and having an overall misperception of myself as a “bad meditator.” ...

= Mana
= Aversion

Metta,
Paul.

[Kim OHara]

Greetings,

I cannot measure how much time I have spent staring at my meditation cushion, crying on my meditation cushion, crying on other meditation cushions while in public, feeling completely misunderstood by meditation teachers, and having an overall misperception of myself as a “bad meditator.” ...

= Mana
= Aversion

Metta,
Paul.

That's unfair and inappropriate. Try reading a bit further, Paul.


Kim

[retrofuturist]

Greetings Kim,

That's unfair and inappropriate.

Facts don't care about your feelings.

What is said in the quote above is indeed an expression of mana (conceit) and dosa (aversion), but thankfully there are many suttas which provide guidance of how to overcome dosa and mana.



Metta,
Paul.

[Crazy cloud]

70% of practice is to not getting it right

- Ajahn Chah

Very helpful advice, because: who doesn't find this practice "unbearable" sometimes ..

[binocular]

The problems she discusses are all quite common and her solutions seem very appropriate.

The problem she discusses is probably common, but the solutions she proposes are not appropriate.
She omits wisdom and morality, but she wants to do meditation? That's a recipe for failing.

Although you are not supposed to alter your breath during the mindfulness practice I engage in

This says it all.

[No_Mind]

As far as I know mindfulness practice was not meant for lay people. Is there any source that tells otherwise?

Imagine you stay in mahajanapada Y and you hear the king of mahajanapada X is trying to conquer mahajanapada Z and that his troops are going to trample all over your land, stealing your chickens and livestock .. how are you going to meditate?

I cannot imagine someone who was as wise and practical as Buddha asking laity to practice meditation for anything more serious than avoiding panic attacks.

[Polar Bear]

Thanks for posting the article. It was interesting and practical to read how the author maintained and developed her Adhiṭṭhāna/determination despite an obstructive amount of dukkha.

[Dhammanando]

As far as I know mindfulness practice was not meant for lay people. Is there any source that tells otherwise?

There's the commentary to the Satipaṭṭhāna Sutta. In his gloss on "Here, bhikkhus, a bhikkhu abides contemplating..." Buddhaghosa makes a point of quoting Dhammapada 142 in order to stress that "bhikkhu" here is not to be understood in the narrow sense of an ordained person but applies to anyone intent on practice.

"Even though he be well-attired, yet if he is poised, calm, controlled and established in the holy life, having set aside violence towards all beings — he, truly, is a brāhmaṇa, a samaṇa, a bhikkhu."
(Dhp. 142)

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/aut ... wayof.html

[User1249x]

As far as I know mindfulness practice was not meant for lay people.

Well to be precise Mindfulness is not really a practice per se, if you are refering to the word Sati it is a factor and a spiritual faculty...

I cannot imagine someone who was as wise and practical as Buddha asking laity to practice meditation for anything more serious than avoiding panic attacks.

Here is an example of instruction to train Jhana with Piti factor, which is a factor present in the 1st and the 2nd (both 4&5 factored) Jhanas.

Piti Sutta: Rapture

Then Anathapindika the householder, surrounded by about 500 lay followers, went to the Blessed One and, on arrival, having bowed down to him, sat to one side. As he was sitting there the Blessed One said to him, "Householder, you have provided the community of monks with robes, alms food, lodgings, & medicinal requisites for the sick, but you shouldn't rest content with the thought, 'We have provided the community of monks with robes, alms food, lodgings, & medicinal requisites for the sick.' So you should train yourself, 'Let's periodically enter & remain in seclusion & rapture.' That's how you should train yourself."
...
Sariputta - "Lord, when a disciple of the noble ones enters & remains in seclusion & rapture, there are five possibilities that do not exist at that time: The pain & distress dependent on sensuality do not exist at that time. The pleasure & joy dependent on sensuality do not exist at that time. The pain & distress dependent on what is unskillful do not exist at that time. The pleasure & joy dependent on what is unskillful do not exist at that time. The pain & distress dependent on what is skillful do not exist at that time. When a disciple of the noble ones enters & remains in seclusion & rapture, these five possibilities do not exist at that time."

or this, a talk given to non monks on the jhanas and the Nibbana;

Then Ven. Ananda, together with Tapussa the householder, went to the Blessed One and, on arrival, having bowed down to him, sat to one side. As he was sitting there he said to the Blessed One: "Tapussa the householder, here, has said to me, 'Venerable Ananda, sir, we are householders who indulge in sensuality, delight in sensuality, enjoy sensuality, rejoice in sensuality. For us — indulging in sensuality, delighting in sensuality, enjoying sensuality, rejoicing in sensuality — renunciation seems like a sheer drop-off. Yet I've heard that in this doctrine & discipline the hearts of the very young monks leap up at renunciation, grow confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace. So right here is where this doctrine & discipline is contrary to the great mass of people: i.e., [this issue of] renunciation.'"

"So it is, Ananda. So it is. Even I myself, before my Awakening, when I was still an unawakened Bodhisatta, thought: 'Renunciation is good. Seclusion is good.' But my heart didn't leap up at renunciation, didn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace. The thought occurred to me: 'What is the cause, what is the reason, why my heart doesn't leap up at renunciation, doesn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace?' Then the thought occurred to me: 'I haven't seen the drawback of sensual pleasures; I haven't pursued [that theme]. I haven't understood the reward of renunciation; I haven't familiarized myself with it. That's why my heart doesn't leap up at renunciation, doesn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace.'

[1] "Then the thought occurred to me: 'If, having seen the drawback of sensual pleasures, I were to pursue that theme; and if, having understood the reward of renunciation, I were to familiarize myself with it, there's the possibility that my heart would leap up at renunciation, grow confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace.'

"So at a later time, having seen the drawback of sensual pleasures, I pursued that theme; having understood the reward of renunciation, I familiarized myself with it. My heart leaped up at renunciation, grew confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace. Then, quite withdrawn from sensuality, withdrawn from unskillful qualities, I entered & remained in the first jhana: rapture & pleasure born from withdrawal, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation.

"As I remained there, I was beset with attention to perceptions dealing with sensuality. That was an affliction for me. Just as pain arises as an affliction for a healthy person, even so the attention to perceptions dealing with sensuality that beset me was an affliction for me.

[2] "The thought occurred to me: 'What if, with the stilling of directed thoughts & evaluations, I were to enter & remain in the second jhana: rapture & pleasure born of composure, unification of awareness free from directed thought & evaluation — internal assurance.' But my heart didn't leap up at being without directed thought, didn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace. The thought occurred to me: 'What is the cause, what is the reason, why my heart doesn't leap up at being without directed thought, doesn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace?' Then the thought occurred to me: 'I haven't seen the drawback of directed thought; I haven't pursued that theme. I haven't understood the reward of being without directed thought; I haven't familiarized myself with it. That's why my heart doesn't leap up at being without directed thought, doesn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace.'

"Then the thought occurred to me: 'If, having seen the drawback of directed thought, I were to pursue that theme; and if, having understood the reward of being without directed thought, I were to familiarize myself with it, there's the possibility that my heart would leap up at being without directed thought, grow confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace.'

"So at a later time, having seen the drawback of directed thought, I pursued that theme; having understood the reward of being without directed thought, I familiarized myself with it. My heart leaped up at being without directed thought, grew confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace. With the stilling of directed thoughts & evaluations, I entered & remained in the second jhana: rapture & pleasure born of composure, unification of awareness free from directed thought & evaluation — internal assurance.

"As I remained there, I was beset with attention to perceptions dealing with directed thought. That was an affliction for me. Just as pain arises as an affliction for a healthy person, even so the attention to perceptions dealing with directed thought that beset me was an affliction for me.

[3] "The thought occurred to me: 'What if, with the fading of rapture, I were to remain in equanimity, mindful & alert, to be physically sensitive to pleasure, and to enter & remain in the third jhana, of which the Noble Ones declare, "Equanimous & mindful, he has a pleasant abiding"?' But my heart didn't leap up at being without rapture, didn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace... So at a later time, having seen the drawback of rapture, I pursued that theme; having understood the reward of being without rapture, I familiarized myself with it. My heart leaped up at being without rapture, grew confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace. With the fading of rapture, I remained in equanimity, mindful & alert, physically sensitive to pleasure, and entered & remained in the third jhana, of which the Noble Ones declare, 'Equanimous & mindful, he has a pleasant abiding.'

"As I remained there, I was beset with attention to perceptions dealing with rapture. That was an affliction for me. Just as pain arises as an affliction for a healthy person, even so the attention to perceptions dealing with rapture that beset me was an affliction for me.

[4] "The thought occurred to me: 'What if, with the abandoning of pleasure & stress — as with the earlier disappearance of elation & distress — I were to enter & remain in the fourth jhana: purity of equanimity & mindfulness, neither-pleasure-nor-pain?' But my heart didn't leap up at being without the pleasure of equanimity, didn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace... So at a later time, having seen the drawback of the pleasure of equanimity, I pursued that theme; having understood the reward of neither-pleasure-nor-pain, I familiarized myself with it. My heart leaped up at neither-pleasure-nor-pain, grew confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace. With the abandoning of pleasure & stress — as with the earlier disappearance of elation & distress — I entered & remained in the fourth jhana: purity of equanimity & mindfulness, neither-pleasure-nor-pain.

"As I remained there, I was beset with attention to perceptions dealing with equanimity. That was an affliction for me. Just as pain arises as an affliction for a healthy person, even so the attention to perceptions dealing with equanimity that beset me was an affliction for me.

[5] "The thought occurred to me: 'What if, with the complete transcending of perceptions of [physical] form, with the disappearance of perceptions of resistance, and not heeding perceptions of diversity, thinking, "Infinite space," I were to enter & remain in the dimension of the infinitude of space?' But my heart didn't leap up at the dimension of the infinitude of space, didn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace... So at a later time, having seen the drawback of forms, I pursued that theme; having understood the reward of the dimension of the infinitude of space, I familiarized myself with it. My heart leaped up at the dimension of the infinitude of space, grew confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace. With the complete transcending of perceptions of form, with the disappearance of perceptions of resistance, and not heeding perceptions of diversity, [perceiving,] 'Infinite space,' I entered & remained in the dimension of the infinitude of space.

"As I remained there, I was beset with attention to perceptions dealing with forms. That was an affliction for me. Just as pain arises as an affliction for a healthy person, even so the attention to perceptions dealing with forms that beset me was an affliction for me.

[6] "The thought occurred to me: 'What if, with the complete transcending of the dimension of the infinitude of space, thinking, "Infinite consciousness," I were to enter & remain in the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness?' But my heart didn't leap up at the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, didn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace... So at a later time, having seen the drawback of the dimension of the infinitude of space, I pursued that theme; having understood the reward of the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, I familiarized myself with it. My heart leaped up at the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, grew confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace. With the complete transcending of the dimension of the infinitude of space, [perceiving,] 'Infinite consciousness,' I entered & remained in the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness.

"As I remained there, I was beset with attention to perceptions dealing with the dimension of the infinitude of space. That was an affliction for me. Just as pain arises as an affliction for a healthy person, even so the attention to perceptions dealing with the dimension of the infinitude of space that beset me was an affliction for me.

[7] "The thought occurred to me: 'What if, with the complete transcending of the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, thinking, "There is nothing," I were to enter & remain in the dimension of nothingness?' But my heart didn't leap up at the dimension of nothingness, didn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace... So at a later time, having seen the drawback of the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, I pursued that theme; having understood the reward of the dimension of nothingness, I familiarized myself with it. My heart leaped up at the dimension of nothingness, grew confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace. With the complete transcending of the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, [perceiving,] 'There is nothing,' I entered & remained in the dimension of nothingness.

"As I remained there, I was beset with attention to perceptions dealing with the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness. That was an affliction for me. Just as pain arises as an affliction for a healthy person, even so the attention to perceptions dealing with the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness that beset me was an affliction for me.

[8] "The thought occurred to me: 'What if I, with the complete transcending of the dimension of nothingness, were to enter & remain in the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception?' But my heart didn't leap up at the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, didn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace... So at a later time, having seen the drawback of the dimension of nothingness, I pursued that theme; having understood the reward of the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, I familiarized myself with it. My heart leaped up at the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, grew confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace. With the complete transcending of the dimension of nothingness, I entered & remained in the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception.

"As I remained there, I was beset with attention to perceptions dealing with the dimension of nothingness. That was an affliction for me. Just as pain arises as an affliction for a healthy person, even so the attention to perceptions dealing with the dimension of nothingness that beset me was an affliction for me.

[9] "The thought occurred to me: 'What if I, with the complete transcending of the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, were to enter & remain in the cessation of perception & feeling?' But my heart didn't leap up at the cessation of perception & feeling, didn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace. The thought occurred to me: 'What is the cause, what is the reason, why my heart doesn't leap up at the cessation of perception & feeling, doesn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace?' Then the thought occurred to me: 'I haven't seen the drawback of the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception; I haven't pursued that theme. I haven't understood the reward of the cessation of perception & feeling; I haven't familiarized myself with it. That's why my heart doesn't leap up at the cessation of perception & feeling, doesn't grow confident, steadfast, or firm, seeing it as peace.'

"Then the thought occurred to me: 'If, having seen the drawback of the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, I were to pursue that theme; and if, having understood the reward of the cessation of perception & feeling, I were to familiarize myself with it, there's the possibility that my heart would leap up at the cessation of perception & feeling, grow confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace.'

"So at a later time, having seen the drawback of the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, I pursued that theme; having understood the reward of the cessation of perception & feeling, I familiarized myself with it. My heart leaped up at the cessation of perception & feeling, grew confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace. With the complete transcending of the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, I entered & remained in the cessation of perception & feeling. And as I saw with discernment, the mental fermentations went to their total end.

"Ananda, as long as I had not attained & emerged from these nine step-by-step dwelling-attainments in forward & backward order in this way, I did not claim to have directly awakened to the right self-awakening unexcelled in the cosmos with its devas, Maras, & Brahmas, with its contemplatives & brahmans, its royalty & common people. But as soon as I had attained & emerged from these nine step-by-step dwelling-attainments in forward & backward order in this way, then I did claim to have directly awakened to the right self-awakening unexcelled in the cosmos with its devas, Maras, & Brahmas, with its contemplatives & brahmans, its royalty & common people. Knowledge & vision arose in me: 'My release is unshakable. This is the last birth. There is now no further becoming.'"

[Crazy cloud]

As far as I know mindfulness practice was not meant for lay people. Is there any source that tells otherwise?

There's the commentary to the Satipaṭṭhāna Sutta. In his gloss on "Here, bhikkhus, a bhikkhu abides contemplating..." Buddhaghosa makes a point of quoting Dhammapada 142 in order to stress that "bhikkhu" here is not to be understood in the narrow sense of an ordained person but applies to anyone intent on practice.

"Even though he be well-attired, yet if he is poised, calm, controlled and established in the holy life, having set aside violence towards all beings — he, truly, is a brāhmaṇa, a samaṇa, a bhikkhu."
(Dhp. 142)

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/aut ... wayof.html

Sorry, net down, and man down together with all produced bits and pieces resembling words, forever lost in god knows what... great fun in samsara today ...

[User1249x]

There's the commentary to the Satipaṭṭhāna Sutta. In his gloss on "Here, bhikkhus, a bhikkhu abides contemplating..." Buddhaghosa makes a point of quoting Dhammapada 142 in order to stress that "bhikkhu" here is not to be understood in the narrow sense of an ordained person but applies to anyone intent on practice.

"Even though he be well-attired, yet if he is poised, calm, controlled and established in the holy life, having set aside violence towards all beings — he, truly, is a brāhmaṇa, a samaṇa, a bhikkhu."
(Dhp. 142)

Another thing one could quote to support such use of the word Bhikkhu is MN 140 where a clansman named Pukkusati is refered to as a Bhikkhu by The Blessed One prior to receiving ordination.

So he said to Ven. Pukkusati, "Out of dedication to whom, monk, have you gone forth? Who is your teacher? Of whose Dhamma do you approve?"

[Justsit]

I just came across this and the advice in it is so sensible that I thought I should share it.
...
The problems she discusses are all quite common and her solutions seem very appropriate.
Kim

Very interesting article with a number of very specific useful suggestions. Those with PTSD or anxiety issues often have trouble concentrating, and will undoubtedly find the information helpful. Thanks for posting.