Buddhadhamma and love

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths. What can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
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Re: Buddhadhamma and love

Post by PeterB » Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:20 pm

Fede, i remember your words full of good sense and kindness from Another Forum...
I have to say I have some real reservations about your post above. I dont think it is in keeping with Metta, Karuna, Mudita , and most certainly with Upekkha. I dont think we can practice those things while banning all memory of some one from our lives. I think that is conventional wisdom, not the wisdom of the Buddhadhamma. It is based on suppression not insight imo.
I think that this kind of strategy is also an acceptance of something essentially unreal. The kind of obsessive emotionalism that results in experiencing dukkha when parted from another person is common enough, we have most of us experienced it . I think though that we should not simply see it as a condition that we ban from our lives by force of will, and by removing all trace of the person from our consciousness. Indeed, I think that we need to do the complete opposite. I think we should contemplate the person concerned deeply. I think we should allow ourselves to see what it is that they represent to us that we think we would otherwise lack. I think in short that romantic love is in fact an unhealthy state that we need to understand in ourselves, not respond to by pretending that its object does not exist. Towards the end of your post there is a reference to meeting " the person of your dreams" I think gentle tinkling alarm bells should ring for any Buddhist at the notion that there is a person of their dreams. I think that this goes against all that we know about dukkha, anicca and anatta. Likewise I am not sure that taking back control of our lives is a viable life strategy as Buddhists. I think our goal is more skillfully expressed in terms of understanding and in letting go, than in control.

I apologise if this seems to have hijacked your thread Craig, I dont think it actually has.
Pain passes. :namaste:

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Re: Buddhadhamma and love

Post by christopher::: » Sun Aug 30, 2009 11:06 pm

Very insightful, Peter. I think this relates to panna-bhavana-maya, experiential wisdom, as Ben has just mentioned in another thread. By carefully observing our experiences of attachment, we come to understand them, and can then let them go. It's a step on the path to more complete freedom.

"As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009

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