I hardly think anyone is laughing . I'm sorry if you're offended by me mentioning a previous post about your recreational use of dxm, but your user name is, after all, dxm_dxm....
Wishing you well,
Sorry I took it like that. The people seen that topic for the first time now should know that I do maintain my view that dxm can influence positivly the duration of meditation sitting by a ton with no secundary effects that could damage the meditation in any way if used by very experienced and sincere to themselves users but it is not something that can help in the long run. Also it should be noted that I was talking a ton of BS in that topic and I have not reached any jhana at the time of that been posted and was deluded.
I'm very glad to see you are curbing your drug use, I have gone through the same problems for years, getting sober 6 years ago was probably the best decision I have made to improve my life, my manic depression has gone into remission, although it took about a year after I got sober. Any mental disorder can be made worse by drugs, and staying sober can put you in more control of your problems, I wish you all the best!!
You have no idea how bad drugs can worsen people with narcissism. I did my best even when I was at my peak with drug use and loved it not to touch stimulants. (alchool, amphetamine, coke) Man you have no idea what a drug that makes any man feel like god on earth does to somebody who already considers himself god on earth lol. Every time I used them even in tiny doses I got serotonine sindrome, something that happens when you have too much serotonine or dopamine in your head. As a side not I quited alchool in december althow I almost never used it because I was very close to killing somebody. I am the most peacefull guy on earth on alchool, even more than sober and I never got in the slightest argue on alchool till 4 months ago. I had an argue with another drunk guy on the street and at one point I said to him "I am fking invulnerable to law in this country, nothing will happen to me even if I kill you, wana see that ? " And then I saw an intact brick (what a weapon of choice) at my feat and runed after him in a very, very, very crowded area. Luky I could not catch him. Thanks to meditation now I only use weed and in low amounts compared to before.