metta to a bad person

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths. What can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
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Re: metta to a bad person

Post by Justsit » Mon Nov 11, 2013 3:26 pm

purple planet wrote:what should i wish exactly - like specificly - happiness - or true happiness (free from defilements) - or maybe just may he be free from defilements ?
May all sentient beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness
May they be free from suffering and the root of suffering
May they not be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering
May they dwell in the great equanimity free from passion, aggression, and prejudice

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Re: metta to a bad person

Post by greenthumb » Mon Nov 11, 2013 5:17 pm

I do metta practice after every sitting session and it was one of my first lessons regarding what true caring and kindness are about. I grew up in a very abusive home and for my first 30 years I didn't not know what caring wise kindness was. I learned, firstly metta is a balm for a sore heart, I also see it as protection for my mind as well, it's like a shield for me. One of my favorite practices, but difficult, many times I don't get a warm happy feeling or bliss. Sometimes it's really difficult to give myself metta, let alone anyone else. I need a calm and steady mind to see this, I was told if it is too difficult to give metta to some really horrible person, like someone who has abused me I can do this later when I am more mature in my practice. I took that advice, I can now clearly see the people in my minds eye who have been hurtful to others and to me while staying calm and (aware). But that has taken me many years to do.

I hope this advice helps @purpleplanet. One step at a time :heart:
Form is like a glob of foam; feeling, a bubble; perception, a mirage; fabrications, a banana tree; consciousness, a magic trick this has been taught by the Kinsman of the Sun. Phena Sutta: Foam

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Re: metta to a bad person

Post by dxm_dxm » Sun Nov 24, 2013 2:53 am

Just wish them to be happy, that is what I do. As somebody said above do not overintelectulize it.

It is scientifically proven and I + probably anyone can confirm that if you are happier you are a better person doing better deeds. I once felt bad and frustrated for 2 weeks and was very agressive in that period. I was aware that I was a worse person but could do nothing about it. So just wish them to be happy

Also it is sometimes hard to do metta for somebody you don't like. A thing that helps a lot is remembering a good deed that he had done althow he is such a bad person or think of something good about him. It is always so nice to realise that even the worse of the worse still has something good in him.

There is a nice budhist quote "remember that every person loves something, desires something and has lost something"

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