More specifically, I find it's a problem if they're not into personal growth and development.
Because if they're not, you're going to become increasingly content and happy in life - meanwhile they're going around in circles, getting disillusioned, and will feel increasingly removed from where you're at in life and will be inclined to lash out at you because of it.
What you ideally want with a partner is two people who can grow and stand side-by-side, supporting each other through life's challenges with smiles - in contrast to a form of co-dependence that topples over once one person is strong enough not to be dependent upon the other.
Well that's how I see it, based on experience, reflection and discussions with others...
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh
"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)
"You've got to focus on what's really worthwhile in life, which means resisting a lot of the currents in our culture" (Thanissaro)