blows my mind how many people do not care!

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths - what can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
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mikenz66
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by mikenz66 » Sat Aug 04, 2012 6:36 am

Hi Johnny,

It's hard to figure out people what people are really like from internet conversations, and so I could be completely wrong, since all I've got to go on are your posts here and on DharmaWheel. So feel free to ignore me. There is certainly nothing wrong with your posts, they simply give me the impression of a very active, talkative person. Hence my sincere advice would be to listen more carefully and talk less. As Ben said above:
Ben wrote: The important thing is to live a Dhammic life as much as possible each and every day.
That in itself will generate far more interest than any attempt to get others interested by talking to them about the Dhamma.
:anjali:
Mike

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johnny
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by johnny » Sat Aug 04, 2012 6:42 am

mikenz66 wrote:Hi Johnny,

It's hard to figure out people what people are really like from internet conversations, and so I could be completely wrong, since all I've got to go on are your posts here and on DharmaWheel. So feel free to ignore me. There is certainly nothing wrong with your posts, they simply give me the impression of a very active, talkative person. Hence my sincere advice would be to listen more carefully and talk less. As Ben said above:
Ben wrote: The important thing is to live a Dhammic life as much as possible each and every day.
That in itself will generate far more interest than any attempt to get others interested by talking to them about the Dhamma.
:anjali:
Mike
and i need too talk less and should listen more! great tact man. must be nice too be a mod or whatever you are that you can say whatever you want as if you are quite above me and can dole out insulting, condescending advice.

especially after i clearly told you i felt your last post too be insulting.
The time would not pass. Somebody was playing with the clocks, and not only the electronic clocks but the wind-up kind too. The second hand on my watch would twitch once, and a year would pass, and then it would twitch again.
There was nothing I could do about it. As an Earthling I had to believe whatever clocks said -and calendars.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

SamKR
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by SamKR » Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:21 am

blows my mind how many dhamma-followers consider a sincere advice as an insult.
(sometimes myself too.)

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mikenz66
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by mikenz66 » Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:23 am

Hi Johnny,
johnny wrote: and i need too talk less and should listen more! great tact man. must be nice too be a mod or whatever you are that you can say whatever you want as if you are quite above me and can dole out insulting, condescending advice.
It has nothing to do with moderation, since, as I said, there is nothing you've posted that violates the TOS. You asked a question, and you got various comments and advice from various people who have also had experience with discussing Dhamma with non-Buddhists.
johnny wrote: especially after i clearly told you i felt your last post too be insulting.
I'm sorry you think that it was insulting. That was certainly not my intention.

:anjali:
Mike

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johnny
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by johnny » Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:41 am

SamKR wrote:blows my mind how many dhamma-followers consider a sincere advice as an insult.
sometimes me too.

blows my mind how people on forums back each other up when someone is insulted. imagine we were in the work place, i would be one hundred percent in the right, if we were co workers and our boss was nearby they would say that you two need to lay off. mike would probably be written up after i told him i was insulted and he kept going. when someone says they don't want your advice and that it is insulting in respectful real life social situations, it's never appropriate too offer further advice, nor too fall into the classic "clique" mentality and walk up next too the supposed insult creator and offer them back up that is further negative and insulting too the recipient.

but this isn't the real world, is it?

ah too have a green name and be able too give "sincere advice" as much as you want! in real life i'm management at my work and am NEVER allowed too talk to people like you two are talking too me! probably why i don't have a complex that leads me too attempt too talk too people like that on a forum, i've been well trained too withhold possibly insulting words and too apologize immediately if anyone feels insulted. if someone insults me i'm not even allowed too reply other than doing what i've done here "i find that insulting, etc"! after that i would have too either let it go or take it up with my boss or HR.

but here, i have no recourse, i could "report" this, but i won't. there is no point at all! unless a mod is blatantly using cuss words or otherwise going too far, they have utter power (at least on every forum i've ever seen). interesting the dissimilarity too real life. i'm the equivalent too a "mod" at my work, mid management, so the administrators and other higher ups are around just like they are here. but in real life it's all politeness and tact, being so careful too never insult anyone or else receive a talking too from the boss. or get a call from HR. in fact my employees that are below me have much more freedom in this area than i do and the same goes for my boss, he has too use even more tact than i do! i imagine if this was a site where the users had too pay too use it this would not be the case. then i would be a valued customer instead of just a newb too be treated like garbage. if i complained about this specific conversation on this hypothetical site, a customer telling an employee that they are feeling insulted, and the employee just keeps going, i would be whisked away too a land of apologies and possibly free stuff and the employee would get a stern talking too from the boss.

as it is though, i have zero value here. if i study hard and answer lots of questions with great skill, then i would be valued on this forum and people would back me up. maybe even mods and administrators. but i would have too work up too that. work. for free. just so i can get respect on a forum? no thanks.

i suppose in the future i will just ignore such posts, although that's quite difficult. almost like hazing. you have too just "take it" or else face further ridicule, until you become "one of them" and then you can defend yourself and speak your mind.

i suppose i'll try too stick around and be silent when i feel insulted until i become "one of them". or i'll get fed up and go live in reality where, unless you're joining a fraternity or something, you don't have too deal with this kind of juvenile nonsense.
The time would not pass. Somebody was playing with the clocks, and not only the electronic clocks but the wind-up kind too. The second hand on my watch would twitch once, and a year would pass, and then it would twitch again.
There was nothing I could do about it. As an Earthling I had to believe whatever clocks said -and calendars.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

Mawkish1983
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by Mawkish1983 » Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:47 am

johnny wrote:[This is] juvenile nonsense.
Quite.
Last edited by Mawkish1983 on Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Mr Man
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by Mr Man » Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:51 am

[At Veluvana So.na the householder's son approached the Blessed One. The Buddha said:] "Whatever recluses and Brahmans, So.na, hold views about the body, which is impermanent, unsatisfactory and subject to change, such as 'I am better [than you],' 'I am equal [to you],' or 'I am worse [than you]' [likewise 'feeling,' 'perception,' 'mental formations,' 'consciousness'], what else are they but folk who do not see things as they really are?

"But, So.na, whatever recluses and Brahmans do not hold such views... What else are they but those who see things as they really are?"

SN 22.49

:anjali:

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johnny
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by johnny » Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:57 am

Mawkish1983 wrote:
johnny wrote:this [is] kind of juvenile nonsense.
Quite.
indeed! on my part as well. likely more so than mike. bottom line though: in a real life polite social situation such as the work place or a customer employee interface, it would have stopped the second i said i felt insulted. not too mention none of us would be saying ANY of this. it's all juvenile. perhaps in order of the most silly too the least silly it would go:

you, for taking the time too post your little ridiculing two cents.

then the guy backing up mike, come on, really? back up? you two are probably tied. get real, you find little interactions and pick sides? no dramatic reality tv shows on where people argue all the time? or i guess this is better because the people on tv can't hear your opinion.

then me for bothering too type even a single line of this! this isn't the real world, this isn't a polite social situation or work place event! this is a freaking forum! what am i doing? and here i've fallen in, i'm being insulting now!!! wow. too be fair it's in defense totally. i gave mike a couple chances too let up by telling him i was insulted. and with you two back up squad leaders i didn't bother because you jumped in just too get a jab in, so there is no point in giving a chance.

then mike, he wasn't trying too be juvenile, he just felt like it was his place too point out what he thought were my faults and tell me how too fix them (note: my op asks zero questions and does not ask "how can i get people to listen" or anything of the sort. it's just sharing my thoughts. the only question is directed at me "i guess i was one of these people long ago in my life?" and cannot be answered unless someone knew me personally.)
Last edited by johnny on Sat Aug 04, 2012 8:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
The time would not pass. Somebody was playing with the clocks, and not only the electronic clocks but the wind-up kind too. The second hand on my watch would twitch once, and a year would pass, and then it would twitch again.
There was nothing I could do about it. As an Earthling I had to believe whatever clocks said -and calendars.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

Mawkish1983
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by Mawkish1983 » Sat Aug 04, 2012 8:00 am

johnny wrote:post your little ridiculing two cents.
I posted no ridicule and now this is meta discussion, which is against the TOS.

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johnny
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by johnny » Sat Aug 04, 2012 8:03 am

Mawkish1983 wrote:
johnny wrote:post your little ridiculing two cents.
I posted no ridicule and now this is meta discussion, which is against the TOS.
what is a meta discussion?

you altered my quote to say "this is" and then let the rest stay normal, so it implies that all of this is juvenile which is not what the quote was originally saying. that's ridiculing, possibly me, mike, and the other guy. but likely just me. you are saying that "this" likely meaning my posts, are juvenile.

you know what? screw it. i've been hassled and now two more jumped in and made it worse. and i'm defending myself and have now been lured into breaking the terms of service! and likely you are breaking them by what you're saying! if you have a problem you should have reported it, not made a little jab and then threatened me with the TOS!

i quit!

have a nice life all.
The time would not pass. Somebody was playing with the clocks, and not only the electronic clocks but the wind-up kind too. The second hand on my watch would twitch once, and a year would pass, and then it would twitch again.
There was nothing I could do about it. As an Earthling I had to believe whatever clocks said -and calendars.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

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Mr Man
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by Mr Man » Sat Aug 04, 2012 8:21 am

Appoligies if my post caused offense. It was for the thread in general rather than a specific post.

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m0rl0ck
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by m0rl0ck » Sat Aug 04, 2012 8:47 am

I have been doing sitting meditation on and off for about 20 years. Currently im averaging about 30 minutes a day, just about every day. Im no longer sure that im even a buddhist really. I just do my practice and try to pay attention and it makes my life better and me less a pita to the universe at large. If you engaged me in this kind of conversation, you might be unsatisfied with my response, which would be on the order of, "i just do some practice most days and try to live my life on lifes terms and not worry too much about metaphysics or the larger picture".
I dont feel any need to articulate what i beleive or dont beleive and usually when people start these kinds of conversations, i just shut up, and smile and nod alot until i can get away from them. Unless of course they are asking advice about meditation or buddhism, in which case i direct them to some of the local and internet resources, and then i shut up about it.
IMO its better to just do ones practice, it affects ones entire environment and the people in it.
“The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling.” ― Robert M. Pirsig

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Cittasanto
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by Cittasanto » Sat Aug 04, 2012 10:04 am

We have two ears and one mouth, strange how much comes out one and how little comes in the rest!
we don't always guage what another is meaning accurately even when we are supposed to be on the same wave length. :coffee:
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
John Stuart Mill

corrine
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Re: blows my mind how many people do not care!

Post by corrine » Sun Aug 05, 2012 7:08 pm

Just a thought, but perhaps some of these people are just very private about their own spirituality, and shrug or decline to respond simply because they do not wish to have to defend their own belief systems which may be very different from one's own.

I know that I rarely feel comfortable discussing my own path with anyone not very close to me. Too often, discussion deteriorates into argument and I do not feel that there is any point to arguing about belief systems. I have found the right path for me. Many of my friends have chosen other paths. Each of us believes that our chosen path is the correct one. And I would rather not be publicly berated for my choices. It is pointless.

Just as political discussions rarely sway others views, neither do spiritual ones. Usually, it is simply an exercise to convert one another to our way of thinking.

So I keep my views private and am simply grateful that I have found a path that gives me a modicum of peace in my old age. If asked, I share my beliefs. If not, I keep them to myself. If others wish to express their beliefs, I listen politely, not responding to their insistence that I take on their beliefs.

Respectfully, corrine

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