How to forgive people when you are correct?

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
JohnK
Posts: 1144
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:06 pm
Location: Tetons, Wyoming, USA

Re: How to forgive people when you are correct?

Post by JohnK »

binocular wrote:
Wed May 27, 2020 7:06 pm
MrLearner wrote:
Wed May 27, 2020 2:26 pm
1. I sometimes find it difficult to forgive people when we come to some conflict like verbal arguement and i'm correct.
It also depends on what the issue at hand was...
Agree.
Maybe MrLearner will give us an example.
Those who grasp at perceptions & views wander the internet creating friction. [based on Sn4:9,v.847]

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Volo
Posts: 1065
Joined: Sat Jul 28, 2018 9:32 am

Re: How to forgive people when you are correct?

Post by Volo »

MrLearner wrote:
Wed May 27, 2020 2:26 pm
Hello everyone,

Hope everyone is safe in this tough time. I have a question about forgiveness, no big issues in my life but just asking to improve my day to day life.

1. I sometimes find it difficult to forgive people when we come to some conflict like verbal arguement and i'm correct. I have no problems when i'm wrong then i accept it, but i don't like to forgive quickly and become friends again when i'm correct because then the other person thinks that me becoming friends again mean he has won and i have accepted i was wrong. This really bugs me because i feel if i forgive this person will never understand he was wrong? So basically my question is how to forgive people and be friends with them again knowing very well that doing so makes them feel victorious without them ever realising what they did was wrong. So really how to forgive unconditionally? Thanks
Do you mean how to forgive people for having their own opinion?

sunnat
Posts: 523
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2019 5:08 am

Re: How to forgive people when you are correct?

Post by sunnat »

just be friendly, just be their friend, just maintain an open friendly mindset...


edit add: just to expand on that...

If you can't be friendly, strive to not be unfriendly..

drop judgement, develop an equanimous attitude.
That is what will help you in the practice. Don't delight in pleasant feelings, drop the tendeny to react woth aversion towards unpleasant feelings, abandon the tendency towards ignorance with regards to neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling.
As a result, the answer to the question and many more will naturally arise. Wisdom, in-sight...

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