Thoughts On Goal Setting and Manifestations

[Mr.SeanStewart]

Hey friends

I'm interested in getting some wise perspective on this topic.

For the past decade, I have been heavily involved in self-development and learning the principals of success as thought by Napolean Hill and Anthony Robbins and such who recommend creating a clear mental picture of the life I want, and the goals and desires etc,

However, I'm experiencing an inner conflict because after studying much of the teachings of the Buddha and Jesus and Krishna I'm not seeing much mention on this topic,

From the perspective of enlightened one, this dream is maya and our main goal is to wake up in the dream - from the perspective of many of the new age teachers, we are to make this dream as exciting and fun as possible by creating new goals and plans and future thinking -albeit to help others.

I am experiencing a little confusion because even though many of my goals have come to pass and I have achieved many things, nothing I achieved was very lasting nor fulfilling. For example, I had a dream of having a certain body type, and I achieved it then I realized I was actually over doing it and now i'm trying to become more balanced.

THen I had a goal to create a certain amount of passive online income, which I did achieve, but in the process i got myself in a very sketchy business which ended up doing the type of work that was putting my sila in to question and eventually I lost it all and having to start from zero again.

Or I had a goal to have my own personal training business and i did well with it because it gave me an income and helped people but at the same time I ended up super stressed and anxious and was working non stop 7 days per week and my life became my work, where as when I had a job I actually had more harmony and balance of mind to practice etc.

I'm experiencing total confusion now because as a transformational coach I teach people to create vision for their life and set goals and identify their values, but I'm learning that life also happens and seems to not really care about goals I put down on paper - many things in the past 2 years is making me believe all these manifestation and goal setting are only relatively true and only give short-term appearances of success - but ultimately leave me empty and hung over.

Love to know your thoughts

[SarathW]

I can relate to your story.
if you keep Nibbana as your goal, all of your other goals naturally come to fruition.

[pegembara]

Hey friends

I'm interested in getting some wise perspective on this topic.

For the past decade, I have been heavily involved in self-development and learning the principals of success as thought by Napolean Hill and Anthony Robbins and such who recommend creating a clear mental picture of the life I want, and the goals and desires etc,

However, I'm experiencing an inner conflict because after studying much of the teachings of the Buddha and Jesus and Krishna I'm not seeing much mention on this topic,

From the perspective of enlightened one, this dream is maya and our main goal is to wake up in the dream - from the perspective of many of the new age teachers, we are to make this dream as exciting and fun as possible by creating new goals and plans and future thinking -albeit to help others.

I am experiencing a little confusion because even though many of my goals have come to pass and I have achieved many things, nothing I achieved was very lasting nor fulfilling. For example, I had a dream of having a certain body type, and I achieved it then I realized I was actually over doing it and now i'm trying to become more balanced.

THen I had a goal to create a certain amount of passive online income, which I did achieve, but in the process i got myself in a very sketchy business which ended up doing the type of work that was putting my sila in to question and eventually I lost it all and having to start from zero again.

Or I had a goal to have my own personal training business and i did well with it because it gave me an income and helped people but at the same time I ended up super stressed and anxious and was working non stop 7 days per week and my life became my work, where as when I had a job I actually had more harmony and balance of mind to practice etc.

I'm experiencing total confusion now because as a transformational coach I teach people to create vision for their life and set goals and identify their values, but I'm learning that life also happens and seems to not really care about goals I put down on paper - many things in the past 2 years is making me believe all these manifestation and goal setting are only relatively true and only give short-term appearances of success - but ultimately leave me empty and hung over.

Love to know your thoughts

Mind is the forerunner of things - Manopubhangama dhamma
All mental phenomena have mind as their forerunner; they have mind as their chief; they are mind-made.
If one speaks or acts with an evil mind, 'dukkha' 3 follows him just as the wheel follows the hoofprint of the ox that draws the cart.

All mental phenomena have mind as their forerunner; they have mind as their chief; they are mind-made. If one speaks or acts with a pure mind, happiness (sukha) follows him like a shadow that never leaves him.

That is what you have found.

You are now discovering that conditioned things are unsatisfactory because they never last.

All conditioned phenomena are impermanent"; when one sees this with Insight-wisdom, one becomes weary of dukkha
All conditioned phenomena are dukkha"; when one sees this with Insight-wisdom, one becomes weary of dukkha
All phenomena (dhammas) are without Self"; when one sees this with Insight-wisdom, one becomes weary of dukkha

[JamesTheGiant]

I can relate to your story.
if you keep Nibbana as your goal, all of your other goals naturally come to fruition.

SarathW, that is complete nonsense, and you know it.
I keep Nibbana as my goal, and my other goal of becoming a millionaire porn-star comes to fruition?
My goal of owning a Ferrari comes to fruition?
My goal to lose 45kg comes to fruition?

[SarathW]

I can relate to your story.
if you keep Nibbana as your goal, all of your other goals naturally come to fruition.

SarathW, that is complete nonsense, and you know it.
I keep Nibbana as my goal, and my other goal of becoming a millionaire porn-star comes to fruition?
My goal of owning a Ferrari comes to fruition?
My goal to lose 45kg comes to fruition?

What I meant to say was Right Livelihood with the Nibbana as the Object.

[JamesTheGiant]

What I meant to say was Right Livelihood with the Nibbana as the Object.

Ok, that's better

[JamesTheGiant]

I'm experiencing total confusion now because as a transformational coach I teach people to create vision for their life and set goals and identify their values, but I'm learning that life also happens and seems to not really care about goals I put down on paper - many things in the past 2 years is making me believe all these manifestation and goal setting are only relatively true and only give short-term appearances of success - but ultimately leave me empty and hung over.

This is good, you are becoming aware of the pointlessness of a lot of these goals.
This will make you a better transformational coach, because you can help people look beyond "I want to lose 80 pounds" or "I want a great job", and more towards what actually matters in life.

[SarathW]

I think lay people should aim for a comfortable healthy life.
I see some monks who are overweight and unhealthy.

[Mr.SeanStewart]

I'm experiencing total confusion now because as a transformational coach I teach people to create vision for their life and set goals and identify their values, but I'm learning that life also happens and seems to not really care about goals I put down on paper - many things in the past 2 years is making me believe all these manifestation and goal setting are only relatively true and only give short-term appearances of success - but ultimately leave me empty and hung over.

This is good, you are becoming aware of the pointlessness of a lot of these goals.
This will make you a better transformational coach, because you can help people look beyond "I want to lose 80 pounds" or "I want a great job", and more towards what actually matters in life.

Thank you so much - you are very right and your share gives me a bigger perspective. The only challenge i find is that in order to get people to pay for help - they tend to look for the tangible external thing - or may be this is my mental block which i need to transcend.

[JamesTheGiant]

The only challenge i find is that in order to get people to pay for help - they tend to look for the tangible external thing

Yes, that is what they're paying you for, you gotta do that.
But
I think you can make a significant change in someone's life by just asking, as part of the coaching, what it is they really value most in life. What's the highest thing, or the noblest purpose, for them.
Just a quick question, no need to spend more than a minute or two on it. For a lot of people (you're in the USA?) I guess that would be God, or family.
Lots of people never ask that question of themselves.
Maybe leave it to percolate in their mind until the next session and ask if they thought of it.
Just make small differences where you can. No need to throw your profession away.

But the sila thing you mentioned at the beginning is important. Never compromise on that.

[xofz]

Keep that good heart. Life is a balancing act that can make us feel truly miserable at times, but if we keep even a small sense of positivity or make the slightest bit of effort toward a positive outlook, the balance can be maintained. As a coach, being able to pivot one's frame of reference around who they are also helps; it takes strength of will and a balanced, healthy life to be able to pivot and help a person for who they are.

Say what you will about one's own imperfections and empty feelings. Someone with your strength of character and zeal for helping others needs to keep on helping -- there are people everywhere who need help.

[Virgo]

I am experiencing a little confusion because even though many of my goals have come to pass and I have achieved many things, nothing I achieved was very lasting nor fulfilling.

You might enjoy this verse:

http://www.vipassana.info/b.htm#Disgruntled

Kevin...