Is reconciliation a theme in the suttas?

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Frank23
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Is reconciliation a theme in the suttas?

Post by Frank23 » Thu Mar 08, 2018 6:48 pm

Today I was reading a paper by Gil Fronsdal titled, “Notes on a Theravada Approach to Spiritual Care to the Dying and the Dead.”

Fronsdal states the importance of achieving reconciliation in “any relationships with conflict or unfinished business.” Is reconciliation in fact a theme in the suttas — either in relation to death, or in the context of spiritual development in general? If so, where? I’ve asked about this before because of the importance of reconciliation in other traditions, but as of yet haven’t been able to find sources within Theravada Buddhism.

2600htz
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Re: Is reconciliation a theme in the suttas?

Post by 2600htz » Thu Mar 08, 2018 7:54 pm

Frank23 wrote:
Thu Mar 08, 2018 6:48 pm
Today I was reading a paper by Gil Fronsdal titled, “Notes on a Theravada Approach to Spiritual Care to the Dying and the Dead.”

Fronsdal states the importance of achieving reconciliation in “any relationships with conflict or unfinished business.” Is reconciliation in fact a theme in the suttas — either in relation to death, or in the context of spiritual development in general? If so, where? I’ve asked about this before because of the importance of reconciliation in other traditions, but as of yet haven’t been able to find sources within Theravada Buddhism.
Hello:

I think yes, reconciliation is a theme in the suttas in relationship with conflict or unfinished business.

-Sariputta: at the time of his death he considered if he had any unfinished business (he was a taint destroyed arahant but he thought about helping his mother who hold some grudge against the buddha for "taking his son away") ("the life of sariputta")

-The Buddha: in the context of spiritual development, he choosed (eventually) the group of 5 ascetics who turn him down after abandoning extreme ascetism to give his first sermon.

-Angulimala: After being a murder of many people, the buddha adviced him to exhort a pregnant woman while she was giving birth to his child.

There are many more examples.

Regards.

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dylanj
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Re: Is reconciliation a theme in the suttas?

Post by dylanj » Thu Mar 08, 2018 7:55 pm

"Abandoning divisive speech he abstains from divisive speech. What he has heard here he does not tell there to break those people apart from these people here. What he has heard there he does not tell here to break these people apart from those people there. Thus reconciling those who have broken apart or cementing those who are united, he loves concord, delights in concord, enjoys concord, speaks things that create concord.
— AN 10.176
susukhaṁ vata nibbānaṁ,
sammā­sambud­dha­desitaṁ;
asokaṁ virajaṁ khemaṁ,
yattha dukkhaṁ nirujjhatī


Oh! extinction is so very blissful,
As taught by the One Rightly Self-Awakened:
Sorrowless, stainless, secure;
Where suffering all ceases


etaṁ santaṁ etaṁ paṇītaṁ yadidaṁ sabbasaṅkhārasamatho sabbūpadhipaṭi nissaggo taṇhakkhayo virāgo nirodho nibbānaṁ

This is peaceful, this is excellent, that is: the stilling of all preparations, the relinquishment of all attachments, the destruction of craving, detachment, cessation, extinction.

binocular
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Re: Is reconciliation a theme in the suttas?

Post by binocular » Fri Mar 09, 2018 7:48 am

Frank23 wrote:
Thu Mar 08, 2018 6:48 pm
Fronsdal states the importance of achieving reconciliation in “any relationships with conflict or unfinished business.” Is reconciliation in fact a theme in the suttas — either in relation to death, or in the context of spiritual development in general? If so, where? I’ve asked about this before because of the importance of reconciliation in other traditions, but as of yet haven’t been able to find sources within Theravada Buddhism.
I've yet have to see it in practice by Buddhists, of any tradition.

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Aloka
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Re: Is reconciliation a theme in the suttas?

Post by Aloka » Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:57 pm

Frank23 wrote:
Thu Mar 08, 2018 6:48 pm
Is reconciliation in fact a theme in the suttas — either in relation to death, or in the context of spiritual development in general? If so, where? I’ve asked about this before because of the importance of reconciliation in other traditions, but as of yet haven’t been able to find sources within Theravada Buddhism.
How about this sutta?

AN 2.21 Bala-pandita Sutta: Fools & Wise People

"Monks, these two are fools. Which two? The one who doesn't see his transgression as a transgression, and the one who doesn't rightfully pardon another who has confessed his transgression. These two are fools.

"These two are wise people. Which two? The one who sees his transgression as a transgression, and the one who rightfully pardons another who has confessed his transgression. These two are wise people."


https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .than.html

...and this article by Thanissaro Bhikkhu:

"Reconciliation, Right & Wrong"

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/aut ... ation.html


:anjali:

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Sam Vara
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Re: Is reconciliation a theme in the suttas?

Post by Sam Vara » Fri Mar 09, 2018 7:13 pm

:goodpost: by Aloka.

It might also be worth considering that the overwhelming emphasis on friendliness and good will throughout the canon implies that if such friendly relations are broken, then it follows that they be restored again as soon as possible. The means to achieving this - the nuts and bolts, so to speak - are culturally varied, so it is up to us to do whatever works, rather than attempting to follow a particular blue-print. Unfriendliness and enmity is dealt with as part of Right Effort, samma vayamo.
He generates desire, endeavors, activates persistence, upholds & exerts his intent for the sake of the abandonment of evil, unskillful qualities that have arisen
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .than.html

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Sam Vara
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Re: Is reconciliation a theme in the suttas?

Post by Sam Vara » Fri Mar 09, 2018 7:23 pm

At the risk of going slightly off-topic, this passage by Ajahn Sucitto is not from the suttas, but seems to embody a lot of what the practice is about:
One of the nuns in the monastery was born and married in Cambodia. At the time of the
Cambodian holocaust, her husband put her and the children on a plane, promising to follow
them when he’d concluded some business. She never saw him again. She got busy with life
in the U.S.A, not only raising three children, but studying for and gaining a Masters’ degree.
She had to, to keep her mind away from dwelling on the past. But all the time she could feel
hatred for the Khmer Rouge (who had killed her husband) seething inside her. Eventually her
intention to help the people of Cambodia rebuild their country brought her into confrontation
with that ill-will. How could she bring around reconciliation, when she still hadn’t reconciled
herself? Through a series of encounters, she learned about meditation, and started to clean
her mind of its hatred. However the real test came when she had to go to Cambodia and
meet and work with members of the Khmer Rouge - one of whose leaders was still
advocating that the children should be taught to fight to cleanse their country of foreign
influence. Looking straight in the eye of the leader of the faction that had destroyed her
husband and a quarter of the population of her country, she asked him to pause, and then
asked forgiveness for the hatred that she had felt for them. She then followed that with
offering her forgiveness for any pain that they had caused. Some of the assembly wept, some
embraced each other. A few remained aloof, but for many the process moved on.
The whole article is well worth reading.

https://www.cittaviveka.org/files/artic ... ucitto.pdf

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TamHanhHi
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Re: Is reconciliation a theme in the suttas?

Post by TamHanhHi » Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:23 pm

binocular wrote:
Fri Mar 09, 2018 7:48 am
I've yet have to see it in practice by Buddhists, of any tradition.
It's actually an emphasized and practiced part of Thich Nhat Hanh's tradition. They call it Beginning Anew. The monastics at the practice centers schedule sessions to do it, and encourage lay people to do it on their own, in their local practice community, or with the assistance of a monastic.
Aloka wrote:
Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:57 pm
...and this article by Thanissaro Bhikkhu:
"Reconciliation, Right & Wrong" https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/aut ... ation.html
Thanks for sharing this! :namaste:

Edit: Looks like there's a longer, updated version of the article by Thanissaro Bhikkhu that includes a more global vision: https://www.dhammatalks.org/books/Purit ... n0010.html
"Just as a large banyan tree, on level ground where four roads meet, is a haven for the birds all around, even so a lay person of conviction is a haven for many people: monks, nuns, male lay followers, & female lay followers."AN 5.38 :candle: | Blog at http://dhammareflections.wordpress.com

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