I think the appropriate definition of "check" is: "Check definition, to stop or arrest the motion of suddenly or forcibly: He checked the horse at the edge of the cliff."L.N. wrote: ↑Mon Nov 20, 2017 5:21 amYes, but children become angry. It is necessary sometimes to speak sharply in a manner which may be perceived as angry, but which is not fueled by anger toward the child.chownah wrote: ↑Mon Nov 20, 2017 3:48 amYes, children need to learn about anger. Making anger acceptable will never give the right lesson. Children copy their parents; parents modeling anger will teach anger. If a child becomes angry one should display displeasure with that anger.....one of the key things is to be calm when doing this. Can one be calm and angry?....I think not.
The charioteer thing is about CHECKING anger.
From the same link:
"One should give up anger"
"Overcome the angry by non-anger"
"yield not to anger"
chownah
As stated in the Dhammapada, "He who checks rising anger as a charioteer checks a rolling chariot, him I call a true charioteer. Others only hold the reins." Anger is rising, and we can check it. We can understand its nature. We can hold the reins, and we can conduct ourselves accordingly. A circumstance which might inspire anger may need to be addressed without an angry heart but nevertheless in a firm manner.
As someone noted earlier:Holding the reins, we can perform skillful kamma instead of harmful kamma.mal4mac wrote: ↑Thu Nov 16, 2017 9:25 amI get the impression that most Theravadans would say "no" and suggest you just be aware of the anger and let it go, certainly don't express it. Tibetans (if I recall Ricard correctly) may argue that negative emotions have a positive side, and anger's positive side is *energy*. You shouldn't, of course, use that energy in negative way (beat someone up, say) but, still, you have that energy and can give it a positive twist - use the energy to argue long and hard against a person maybe. Of course, that long and hard argument should aim at relieving suffering all round.
So to answer your question: I'm not sure! I'm just sure you should avoid bringing more suffering into the world through your angry thoughts. Anyone have a definitive answer to this one? Anger good or bad? Let it go, or transform it and use its energy?
I think that what this means is to quickly stop anger as it is arising.....it does not mean to let it manifest and then to control it.
The only place anger is held is in the heart.
I repeat:
From the same link:
"One should give up anger"
"Overcome the angry by non-anger"
"yield not to anger"
chownah