Anger

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
binocular
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Re: Anger

Post by binocular » Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:35 pm

L.N. wrote:
Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:26 am
While each of us alone is responsible for his or her reactions, this does not mean we are incapable of harming others. Children need to learn that their words and actions can have an effect on others. It is part of being human.
How about adults learning that?

Such as adults learning that their words and actions have an effect on children?
Children need to learn that their words and actions can have an effect on others.
Why place such an emphasis and more responsibility on the party that is de facto and de iure the weaker one, ie. children?

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pegembara wrote:
Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:47 am
Parents use pretend anger to teach their children how to behave since the power equation is clearly on their side.
If the power equation is on the side of the parents, why use pretend anger to begin with?
I think that this pretend anger accomplishes that children begin to doubt whether the parents are indeed more powerful.

Also, children aren't idiots, and they can tell that pretend anger is a mixed message (which gives rise to doubts and confusion).

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L.N.
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Re: Anger

Post by L.N. » Wed Nov 22, 2017 4:10 am

binocular wrote:
Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:35 pm
L.N. wrote:
Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:26 am
While each of us alone is responsible for his or her reactions, this does not mean we are incapable of harming others. Children need to learn that their words and actions can have an effect on others. It is part of being human.
How about adults learning that?
How about learning that for oneself?
Sire patitthitā Buddhā
Dhammo ca tava locane
Sangho patitthitō tuiham
uresabba gunākaro


愿众佛坐在我的头顶, 佛法在我的眼中, 僧伽,功德的根源, 端坐在我的肩上。

pegembara
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Re: Anger

Post by pegembara » Wed Nov 22, 2017 4:50 am

binocular wrote:
Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:35 pm
pegembara wrote:
Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:47 am
Parents use pretend anger to teach their children how to behave since the power equation is clearly on their side.
If the power equation is on the side of the parents, why use pretend anger to begin with?
Err, because it works. The child learns better never to stick his fingers into power sockets or run on to the road just by the tone of his parents' voice. Granted at that moment the fear(anger) was real.
When our children run towards the street or get too close to the stove, we are afraid they will hurt themselves and can sometimes overreact. A strong reaction in these situations is necessary for keeping your kids safe because they need to understand how serious a mistake they could be making. When we react, it is important to teach a lesson to our children so they will remember that what they are doing is not safe.

https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/paren ... -kids-safe
And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech.

binocular
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Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 11:13 pm

Re: Anger

Post by binocular » Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:17 am

pegembara wrote:
Wed Nov 22, 2017 4:50 am
Err, because it works. The child learns better never to stick his fingers into power sockets or run on to the road just by the tone of his parents' voice.
I wouldn't call that anger, though. A forcefully expressed statement is not the same as anger.

Granted, many people seem to be unable to tell the difference between anger and use of force; or between violence and use of force. Force is what one needs to use to move around furniture, or to push away a person that is trying to strangle one. One can also use force in speech, such as by speaking harshly, loudly etc.
Violence is when one uses force when angry or with the specific intention to harm others.

binocular
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Re: Anger

Post by binocular » Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:18 am

L.N. wrote:
Wed Nov 22, 2017 4:10 am
How about learning that for oneself?
How is one who evidently hasn't learned it themselves, to teach others how to do it??

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L.N.
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Re: Anger

Post by L.N. » Thu Nov 23, 2017 3:40 am

binocular wrote:
Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:18 am
L.N. wrote:
Wed Nov 22, 2017 4:10 am
How about learning that for oneself?
How is one who evidently hasn't learned it themselves, to teach others how to do it??
If you are not speaking about me personally, then hypothetically, the blind cannot lead the blind. Practically speaking, one can recognize the kernel of truth within oneself with or without prompting. One also can resist.

If you are speaking about me personally, then you are entitled to your opinion. If you feel the best choice is for you to focus on me, please feel free. I will work harder not to appear to take it personally, if that makes any difference (which I suspect it does not). Best wishes.
Sire patitthitā Buddhā
Dhammo ca tava locane
Sangho patitthitō tuiham
uresabba gunākaro


愿众佛坐在我的头顶, 佛法在我的眼中, 僧伽,功德的根源, 端坐在我的肩上。

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