Degrees of Anger in Practice

[rucontent]

So I'm really thankful for this forum. I took the advice of someone in the forum and got a book called "Novice to Master" further into my stupidity something to that affect. As i begin to delve into the actual practice of removing hindrances and purifying the mind, I am trying to understand if there is any texts or scriptures on how to go down into that cavern of the emotions. Yes zazen. But is there anything more pliable than that?

For instance, when i am angry, lets say with spouse. Inside i may hear voices of how stupid she might be or incapable of communicating. In presence i can sense that and try to work with it. But in that moment of a conversation, what is the most skillful way of getting through without turning to spite and anger. For example, I tend to just pull back and get silent. Because i am trying to process my anger or am holding a grudge inwardly, though i am trying not to act out. Is indifference better than insults? I mean we don't always have time to sit and look at our anger or offense. This is my biggest challenge.

Anger and Offense. It is like torture to try and be noble and good and sit idle when people are being rude or offensive. Especially as it concerns our children, we should let them be rude? I feel like there are many inconsistencies.

We are taught to be good, yet , the disciple at the door of the temple trying to gain entrance, a long standing tradition of mistreatment and rejection is expected. I am finding that like the bible, the teachings of Buddha sometimes seem to conflict and i am trying not to get too caught up by my intellect sees these things as cause and effect. Consequences and inter relations....


So whats my point? Im trying to learn how to engage the hindrances with more skill. Any ideas? Can anyone relate or is novice written all over my profile?

[Justsit]

Some very general instruction on working with anger here.

[rucontent]

Some very general instruction on working with anger here.

Thank you every little bit helps....

[nameless]

Anger and Offense. It is like torture to try and be noble and good and sit idle when people are being rude or offensive. Especially as it concerns our children, we should let them be rude? I feel like there are many inconsistencies.

Emotion often drives our behavior. Sometimes it leads one to believe that they have to go together. But there can always be action without anger. You can assertively tell your children to not be rude without being angry at them (or you can act angry so that they listen to you without actually being angry, though I don't know if it is skilful to do so, the point being that not being angry does not equate to not taking action).

It may also be fruitful to contemplate what actually bothers you about people being rude or offensive. For example, if one is stabbed it is the knife which causes damage; if one is stabbed when sleeping it causes damage, if one is stabbed and doesn't feel it (anaesthesia?) it still causes damage. But if I insult you when you are sleeping it doesn't hurt you. If I insult you and you don't hear it it doesn't hurt you. So it's not just the insult in itself that causes damage (not denying that it is part of the damage), but also your participation in listening to it, interpreting it in certain ways, taking offense etc.

We are taught to be good, yet , the disciple at the door of the temple trying to gain entrance, a long standing tradition of mistreatment and rejection is expected.

I think what you are describing is from the Zen tradition. It has a lot of good things to offer, but the practice always seemed rather strange to me. I haven't heard of any "mistreatment and rejection" from Theravadin temples. Of course you'll need to be mindful of the time and place and any traditions they have, and it's probably not so that anyone can just stroll in and ordain. I've been to 2 Theravadin and 1 Tibetan temple, they are generally open (at least for participation in meditation training or Buddhist talks) to anyone that is interested. If you compare the traditions the "mistreatment and rejection" is a relatively recent invention, the "long standing tradition" is one of openness and welcoming.