Joke!!!
Re: Joke!!!
Buddhist sense of humor Epic fail.
- WindDancer
- Posts: 286
- Joined: Mon May 01, 2017 3:47 am
- Location: Harrison County, IN, USA
- coucholder
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2017 12:36 am
Re: Joke!!!
So!
A gorgeous but somewhat "ditzy" young blonde woman boards a plane and takes her seat next to a rather pretentious professor of history, right? Now, the professor finds this woman's "ditzy" air amusing, so he suggests that, to pass the time on their flight together, they play a game of trivia. "To make it interesting, my dear," says the professor with a grin, "how about you pay me a dollar for every question I ask that you're unable to answer?"
"Wow!" says the young woman. "I don't know if that's fair! You're, like, a really super-smart professor and everything!"
The professor chuckles. "Then how about this? I'll pay you one hundred dollars for every question you ask that I'm unable to answer, my dear?"
"Like, sure!"
The professor begins: "Under which monarch did Benjamin Disraeli serve as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom?" (The answer, of course, is Queen Victoria.)
The blonde bites her lip and scratches her head and furrows her brow for a moment or two. "Like, I have no idea! Ha-ha!" She hands over a dollar to the professor, who smirks, quite taken with the young beauty and feeling his ego swell.
"Your turn, my dear."
"Okay, um..." the blonde furrows her brow again and mutters something about "coming up with, like, a good one." The professor chuckles. At last, the blonde says: "Okay! This one is, like, the best ever!"
The professor laughs. "I'm ready."
"Okay, so, like, the pre-Latin system of writing in Ireland from the first to ninth centuries A.D. was called 'Ogham,' right? Well, back in the 1980's, Ogham writing in Old Irish, dating all the way back to, like, the sixth or eighth century, were found in West Virginia with, like, annotations in ancient Libyan script, in an Algonquian language. What do those annotations tell us about, like, the Ogham inscription and its, like, provenance?"
The professor is perplexed. He bites his lip. He scratches his head. He furrows his brow. He thinks and thinks and thinks, starting and stopping attempts at answers for the entire flight. When the plane finally lands, our professor says, "Well, I give up!" He hands over one hundred dollars to the lovely young woman, now much more humble for the experience.
After deplaning, the two part ways at the terminal, but just before they part, the professor says to her, "I just have to know! What do those inscriptions say and what do they mean for the Ogham writing?"
The woman smiles, hands over a dollar bill to the professor, gives him a kiss on the cheek, and departs.
A gorgeous but somewhat "ditzy" young blonde woman boards a plane and takes her seat next to a rather pretentious professor of history, right? Now, the professor finds this woman's "ditzy" air amusing, so he suggests that, to pass the time on their flight together, they play a game of trivia. "To make it interesting, my dear," says the professor with a grin, "how about you pay me a dollar for every question I ask that you're unable to answer?"
"Wow!" says the young woman. "I don't know if that's fair! You're, like, a really super-smart professor and everything!"
The professor chuckles. "Then how about this? I'll pay you one hundred dollars for every question you ask that I'm unable to answer, my dear?"
"Like, sure!"
The professor begins: "Under which monarch did Benjamin Disraeli serve as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom?" (The answer, of course, is Queen Victoria.)
The blonde bites her lip and scratches her head and furrows her brow for a moment or two. "Like, I have no idea! Ha-ha!" She hands over a dollar to the professor, who smirks, quite taken with the young beauty and feeling his ego swell.
"Your turn, my dear."
"Okay, um..." the blonde furrows her brow again and mutters something about "coming up with, like, a good one." The professor chuckles. At last, the blonde says: "Okay! This one is, like, the best ever!"
The professor laughs. "I'm ready."
"Okay, so, like, the pre-Latin system of writing in Ireland from the first to ninth centuries A.D. was called 'Ogham,' right? Well, back in the 1980's, Ogham writing in Old Irish, dating all the way back to, like, the sixth or eighth century, were found in West Virginia with, like, annotations in ancient Libyan script, in an Algonquian language. What do those annotations tell us about, like, the Ogham inscription and its, like, provenance?"
The professor is perplexed. He bites his lip. He scratches his head. He furrows his brow. He thinks and thinks and thinks, starting and stopping attempts at answers for the entire flight. When the plane finally lands, our professor says, "Well, I give up!" He hands over one hundred dollars to the lovely young woman, now much more humble for the experience.
After deplaning, the two part ways at the terminal, but just before they part, the professor says to her, "I just have to know! What do those inscriptions say and what do they mean for the Ogham writing?"
The woman smiles, hands over a dollar bill to the professor, gives him a kiss on the cheek, and departs.
natthi me saraṇaṃ aññaṃ
buddho me saraṇaṃ varaṃ
etena sacca-vajjena
hotu me jayamaṅgalaṃ
A socialist is just someone who is unable to get over his or her astonishment that most people who have lived and died have spent lives of wretched, fruitless, unremitting toil. Terry Eagleton, Ideology: An Introduction.
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist. Hélder Câmara, Essential Writings.
buddho me saraṇaṃ varaṃ
etena sacca-vajjena
hotu me jayamaṅgalaṃ
A socialist is just someone who is unable to get over his or her astonishment that most people who have lived and died have spent lives of wretched, fruitless, unremitting toil. Terry Eagleton, Ideology: An Introduction.
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist. Hélder Câmara, Essential Writings.
- WindDancer
- Posts: 286
- Joined: Mon May 01, 2017 3:47 am
- Location: Harrison County, IN, USA
Re: Joke!!!
Thanks to each of you. These are great.
Kim, I live very near to the eclipse map in your joke. I see numerous UPS planes taking off from the airport which serves as the main hub for UPS in the midwest of the USA. I walk the dogs sometime between 3:00 and 5:00 a.m. on my 2 1/2 acres. Frequently I will see plane after plane flying overhead, fanning out in different directions from the airport which is almost an hours drive to the east.
Kim, I live very near to the eclipse map in your joke. I see numerous UPS planes taking off from the airport which serves as the main hub for UPS in the midwest of the USA. I walk the dogs sometime between 3:00 and 5:00 a.m. on my 2 1/2 acres. Frequently I will see plane after plane flying overhead, fanning out in different directions from the airport which is almost an hours drive to the east.
Live Gently....
Re: Joke!!!
We seem to have come to the end of this thread [insert obligatory ball-of-string joke here ] but fear not! There's a new one at https://dhammawheel.com/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=30118
Kim
Kim