Topicless Friendly Banter
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
There's no such thing as "friendly banter". "Friendly banter" is a contradiction in terms.
Hic Rhodus, hic salta!
- Wizard in the Forest
- Posts: 699
- Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:16 am
- Location: House in Forest of Illusions
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
Would you like me to change the title? I can do that if it is incorrect in its usage.
I use banter as it implies good humored chatting rather than being serious or dedicated to learning. I meant it to have a more of a light-hearted implication, but I can change it if you like. I may have missed the implication that it is hurtful. I don't want that in any way.
What do you think would convey my intention clearer?
I use banter as it implies good humored chatting rather than being serious or dedicated to learning. I meant it to have a more of a light-hearted implication, but I can change it if you like. I may have missed the implication that it is hurtful. I don't want that in any way.
What do you think would convey my intention clearer?
"One is not born a woman, but becomes one."- Simone de Beauvoir
- Wizard in the Forest
- Posts: 699
- Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:16 am
- Location: House in Forest of Illusions
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
Huh, there's no way to edit the title post.
I suppose banter will have to stay for now.
I suppose banter will have to stay for now.
"One is not born a woman, but becomes one."- Simone de Beauvoir
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
I don't know what your intention is.Wizard in the Forest wrote: ↑Tue May 22, 2018 6:43 pmI use banter as it implies good humored chatting rather than being serious or dedicated to learning. I meant it to have a more of a light-hearted implication, but I can change it if you like. I may have missed the implication that it is hurtful. I don't want that in any way.
What do you think would convey my intention clearer?
If your intention is admirable friendship, kalyanamittata, then "good humored chatting rather than being serious or dedicated to learning" doesn't seem like part of it.
Hic Rhodus, hic salta!
- Wizard in the Forest
- Posts: 699
- Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:16 am
- Location: House in Forest of Illusions
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
My intention is to cultivate friendship without need to refer to pariyatti or patipatti.
Being friends requires getting to know one another and I think it helps build connections between people to just talk about things without needing a topic.
Things will come up and go as needed, I think that is a way to cultivate a more friendly community.
I am sorry if I gave off another impression.
I want to have friends who are also Dhamma farers. You have friends who don't go from desana to desana don't you? It is the same concept.
Being friends requires getting to know one another and I think it helps build connections between people to just talk about things without needing a topic.
Things will come up and go as needed, I think that is a way to cultivate a more friendly community.
I am sorry if I gave off another impression.
I want to have friends who are also Dhamma farers. You have friends who don't go from desana to desana don't you? It is the same concept.
"One is not born a woman, but becomes one."- Simone de Beauvoir
- Karma Dondrup Tashi
- Posts: 81
- Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:41 pm
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
Dang Buddhists ain't got no soul.binocular wrote: ↑Tue May 22, 2018 6:53 pm If your intention is admirable friendship, kalyanamittata, then "good humored chatting rather than being serious or dedicated to learning" doesn't seem like part of it.
It has been the misfortune (not, as these gentlemen think it, the glory) of this age that everything is to be discussed. Edmund Burke, Reflections on the Revolution in France.
- Wizard in the Forest
- Posts: 699
- Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:16 am
- Location: House in Forest of Illusions
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
I am a Buddhist, and I think a kalyanamitta needs to actually get to know people on a conventional level and then helps on an ultimate level. I don't see eye to eye with binocular here.
It's ok to disagree though.
It's ok to disagree though.
"One is not born a woman, but becomes one."- Simone de Beauvoir
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
I don't call those people "friends".Wizard in the Forest wrote: ↑Tue May 22, 2018 7:08 pmYou have friends who don't go from desana to desana don't you?
Hic Rhodus, hic salta!
- Wizard in the Forest
- Posts: 699
- Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:16 am
- Location: House in Forest of Illusions
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
What do you call them?
I differ largely on this topic because I don't have the fortune of having Buddhist companions as mentioned in OP and I mentioned later that I learned on my own.
I am open to having friends outside of the desana, and I call them friends because we are companions and are close and do all of the things that friends do in the Sigalovada Sutta.It is what the Buddha called a warm hearted friend. I want a companion like this to also share my experience as a Dhamma farer.
I differ largely on this topic because I don't have the fortune of having Buddhist companions as mentioned in OP and I mentioned later that I learned on my own.
I am open to having friends outside of the desana, and I call them friends because we are companions and are close and do all of the things that friends do in the Sigalovada Sutta.It is what the Buddha called a warm hearted friend. I want a companion like this to also share my experience as a Dhamma farer.
"One is not born a woman, but becomes one."- Simone de Beauvoir
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
Online friends only get as warm as your computer screen.
Hic Rhodus, hic salta!
- Wizard in the Forest
- Posts: 699
- Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:16 am
- Location: House in Forest of Illusions
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
My boyfriend of 6 years who has spent months in my company was met online. My only brother who was stranded in Chile because of immigration shenanigans only had a connection with me by communicating online, and I love him dearly all the same. I think you just use it differently. I never take communication for granted, because I have not been as lucky to be dismissive in this way.
"One is not born a woman, but becomes one."- Simone de Beauvoir
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
I think I agree with the spirit of this thread. I wish I could find more Buddhist friends with whom I could relate on a more basic human level, not always trying to force everything to fit within some kind of rigid doctrinal matrix. I don't mean that I dismiss the Buddha's teachings, not at all, not on any level. These are serious issues we are grappling with - and life is short. But somehow I wish we could make more room in our discourse (online or in person) for basic human warmth, kindness, and understanding. I mean, isn't that what we all want? (BTW, I must be clairvoyant because I anticipate someone being offended at my presumption to know what they want - forgive me, I do recognize that people have different wants and needs, and I in no way wish to enforce mine upon you).Wizard in the Forest wrote: ↑Tue May 22, 2018 7:30 pm I am a Buddhist, and I think a kalyanamitta needs to actually get to know people on a conventional level and then helps on an ultimate level. I don't see eye to eye with binocular here.
It's ok to disagree though.
At the very least, it is nice to be reminded that I am interacting with 100% real authentic people, people who matter, potential friends! not zombies or anything like that.
- Wizard in the Forest
- Posts: 699
- Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:16 am
- Location: House in Forest of Illusions
Re: Topicless Friendly Banter
I'm sure the Buddha would not oppose friendship in this way either to be entirely honest. It's not like I'm encouraging akusala behavior by asking that we get to know one another as people and befriend them. I find this notion that friendship is made less real by being online to be really antiquated. My boss also met his wife of ten years online.
"One is not born a woman, but becomes one."- Simone de Beauvoir