Garrib wrote: ↑Thu Apr 05, 2018 5:47 am
Do you have any friends/family who can help you in case you end up without a job??
No, I have have to find for another job on my own, which is not easy.
I hate this job (a Buddhist shouldn't say this, but lying is unwholesome too). It's hard to explain, this company is like a maffia, and I feel a sinner for working for these people. If I continue with this job, it's guaranteed alcoholism, and feeling of anger. They force people to buy unwanted stuff, you know telemarketing, and all we get back that we are like rats, a criminal gang. I feel it's true. I can't practice dhamma in these circumstances.
You are trying - you are consistently coming back to your wholesome aspirations and you genuinely wish to practice. I am inspired by that, honestly. I know that what you are going through is very difficult. This path is not always easy, but we have to stick with it if we ever want to be free from misery.
I hope you can find some real joy and happiness very soon.
Garrib wrote: ↑Thu Apr 05, 2018 5:47 am
Do you have any friends/family who can help you in case you end up without a job??
No, I have have to find for another job on my own, which is not easy.
I hate this job (a Buddhist shouldn't say this, but lying is unwholesome too). It's hard to explain, this company is like a maffia, and I feel a sinner for working for these people. If I continue with this job, it's guaranteed alcoholism, and feeling of anger. They force people to buy unwanted stuff, you know telemarketing, and all we get back that we are like rats, a criminal gang. I feel it's true. I can't practice dhamma in these circumstances.
You are trying - you are consistently coming back to your wholesome aspirations and you genuinely wish to practice. I am inspired by that, honestly. I know that what you are going through is very difficult. This path is not always easy, but we have to stick with it if we ever want to be free from misery.
I hope you can find some real joy and happiness very soon.
Never give up!
When I face hard decisions, I usually do a calculation. The maths show that health is more important than money. I wrote down every possible positive and negative outcomes. The balance is clearly health.
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."
oncereturner wrote: ↑Sun Apr 08, 2018 9:50 pmWhen I face hard decisions, I usually do a calculation. The maths show that health is more important than money. I wrote down every possible positive and negative outcomes. The balance is clearly health.
.
MN 75 wrote:Freedom from disease: the foremost good fortune.
one_awakening wrote: ↑Thu Mar 29, 2018 3:03 am
Yes get professional help. Also try and meditate everyday if possible. This will train your mind to just observe the craving arise and pass away without acting on it.
You may only be able to observe the craving for a minute or two to start with, but that's OK. The more you meditate the stronger your mental discipline becomes.
It doesn't work, Bodom was right, it's like a runaway train, absolute madness, no way to stop this. Only hope is rehab now. I'm about to lose my job, but health is foremost.
My body is trembling, my head explodes, I feel pain everywhere.
Yes you absolutely will need medical intervention in order to stop drinking if it has gotten to this point. Have you spoken with any detox facilities yet?
I missed the appointment at rehab, because I got drunk again. Next meeting will be in 3-4 weeks. Detox was a good advice, but in my panic I detoxed myself at home. It was a heedless idea, because I had tremor and almost a seizure. Next time I will call the ambulance, i hope it will not happen.
Doctor said that I have to do it on my own, they can't help if I can't help myself to reach one week of sobriety. It's my first day, maybe the hardest, I must do this.
(Sorry for the typo)
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."
bodom wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:26 pm
Yes you absolutely will need medical intervention in order to stop drinking if it has gotten to this point. Have you spoken with any detox facilities yet?
As doctors can't help me, I have another plan. I will give my credit card to mother, and tell her, no to ever give me back. I can't buy beer without money. If this doesn't work, I give it to a real trusted friend who knows my situation. Or just destroy the card.
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."
oncereturner wrote:I missed the appointment at rehab, because I got drunk again. Next meeting will be in 3-4 weeks. Detox was a good advice, but in my panic I detoxed myself at home. It was a heedless idea, because I had tremor and almost a seizure. Next time I will call the ambulance, i hope it will not happen.
Doctor said that I have to do it on my own, they can't help if I can't help myself to reach one week of sobriety. It's my first day, maybe the hardest, I must do this.
(Sorry for the typo)
They are called delirium tremens, a classic sign of an alcoholic. This means that your body is physically addicted. You can die from this. Please continue to try to find medical intervention and do nor attempt to try it at home. You will need to be supervised and prescribed anti-convulsion meds.
Liberation is the inevitable fruit of the path and is bound to blossom forth when there is steady and persistent practice. The only requirements for reaching the final goal are two: to start and to continue. If these requirements are met there is no doubt the goal will be attained. This is the Dhamma, the undeviating law.
bodom wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:26 pm
Yes you absolutely will need medical intervention in order to stop drinking if it has gotten to this point. Have you spoken with any detox facilities yet?
As doctors can't help me, I have another plan. I will give my credit card to mother, and tell her, no to ever give me back. I can't buy beer without money. If this doesn't work, I give it to a real trusted friend who knows my situation. Or just destroy the card.
This may be a short term solution but in the long run only you can can overcome this affliction. In the beginning get as much help as you can from anyone and everyone who understands your situation especially ex drinkers in AA. You will be surprised by the generosity that you will be shown. I know I was.
Liberation is the inevitable fruit of the path and is bound to blossom forth when there is steady and persistent practice. The only requirements for reaching the final goal are two: to start and to continue. If these requirements are met there is no doubt the goal will be attained. This is the Dhamma, the undeviating law.
bodom wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:26 pm
Yes you absolutely will need medical intervention in order to stop drinking if it has gotten to this point. Have you spoken with any detox facilities yet?
As doctors can't help me, I have another plan. I will give my credit card to mother, and tell her, no to ever give me back. I can't buy beer without money. If this doesn't work, I give it to a real trusted friend who knows my situation. Or just destroy the card.
This may be a short term solution but in the long run only you can can overcome this affliction. In the beginning get as much help as you can from anyone and everyone who understands your situation especially ex drinkers in AA. You will be surprised by the generosity that you will be shown. I know I was.
I destroyed the credit card, it was the only radical way to stop in short term. This is alcoholism...
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."
oncereturner wrote: ↑Fri Apr 13, 2018 1:13 amI will give my credit card to mother, and tell her, no to ever give me back.
Would it be possible for you to explain your situation to your mother, and ask her to help you as much as she can?
Especially, if she could cook wholesome meals for you, preferrably every day.
oncereturner wrote: ↑Fri Apr 13, 2018 1:13 amI will give my credit card to mother, and tell her, no to ever give me back.
Would it be possible for you to explain your situation to your mother, and ask her to help you as much as she can?
Especially, if she could cook wholesome meals for you, preferrably every day.
Fortunately I have no card, as I destroyed it, but I can still make the necessary transactions, paying the bills. Mother will cook for me.
I'm a bit scared of total abstinence, the only solution.
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."
oncereturner wrote: ↑Fri Apr 13, 2018 2:42 am
I destroyed the credit card, it was the only way to stop. This is alcoholism...
Destroying the card also will not stop your drinking. You need help. Outside. Yourself.
I was only the first step, breaking out of the vicious circle. Doctor prescribed a strong benzo, called clonazepam, against the craving & other symptoms. It has side effects, like nightmares, but it's effective.
I reached 48 hours of sobriety. I'm better, however my ears are still ringing loudly. I'm not sure what is the cause of this discomfort.
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."
