Buddhism and alcohol

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
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oncereturner
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by oncereturner » Sun Nov 19, 2017 1:25 pm

denise wrote:
Sun Nov 19, 2017 1:08 pm
hello....very sorry that this has hold of you.....the only way to stop is with the help of people that are currently working on the same as you.....you will find that a lot of AA's teachings are similar to Buddhism......you can go and see for yourself...please try..the longer you wait the worse it will be..... :heart:
Once I was at local AA meeting, a man told the horror story of his addiction to drugs and alcohol. I was shocked, but the is clean now. Another man told he was a heavy drinker, but he is clean for cc. 3000 day, which means 10 years, and he is still counting the days of his sobriety.

I joined the AA forum group too. There is no shortage of shocking stories (losing jobs and so on). I shared with them half of my story, they were shocked too, but several people of them is still drinking, and can't even think anymore.

So AA looks like this. I think it is one way, doctor recommends it too. Dhamma seems to be the only way.
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."

— SN 45.8

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oncereturner
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by oncereturner » Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:33 pm

Finally, I had a shower at the Metropolitan Waterworks Co. And my clothes will be clean at the "Bubbles" self-service lavatory. I've seen 2 heavily drunken man in just one minute, they could hardly walk, Monday will be bitter for them. I guess there is a million of them now. I try my best not to be the same.

The Buddha said that the mind should be straightforward like a bow. My mind is my greatest enemy, it is wondering away from dhamma every day. The teachings of Buddha is complex, difficult and hard to comprehend. Every day I learn something new from the scriptures. Nowadays and in the old times of the dhamma, everything remained the same. We face the same difficulties. People are the same as well. It is hard (impossible) to tell right from wrong, without the old texts. I'm progressing very slowly, sometimes one step forwards, two steps backwards.

Temptations, craving and distractions are everywhere, outside, and inside in my mind. I must read and think.
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."

— SN 45.8

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oncereturner
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by oncereturner » Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:23 pm

Hello.

I drink less, and I feel somewhat better, but life is getting harder. It is getting really tough. My plans of sobriety is denied every day. I can't even remember my last sober day, without a hangover. I plan something, but every time life has some another plan for tomorrow. I must be cursed.

I'm not that i-cant-even-walk type of alcoholic, I drink every day and still seem to be likely sober.
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."

— SN 45.8

Garrib
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by Garrib » Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:11 pm

Hey brother, I'm glad to hear you are drinking less. That sounds like a move in the right direction. Have you reached out to any support groups (AA, etc...)?? I think it might be really good for you to talk to someone, in person, about these issues, in addition to staying in touch with DW members through the web. Preferably someone who has overcome addiction themselves?

Take care of yourself.

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oncereturner
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by oncereturner » Mon Nov 27, 2017 11:43 pm

Garrib wrote:
Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:11 pm
Hey brother, I'm glad to hear you are drinking less. That sounds like a move in the right direction. Have you reached out to any support groups (AA, etc...)?? I think it might be really good for you to talk to someone, in person, about these issues, in addition to staying in touch with DW members through the web. Preferably someone who has overcome addiction themselves?

Take care of yourself.
I was sober for two days, thinking of the girl and dhamma had some effect, and I felt much better, but I relapsed. I will lose that girl. I came home from work and I stood in front of a liquor store. I said no-no-no, but I went in for the beer. Then I searched for another store for more beer.
This workday was easy, no stress, i only "worked" 3 minutes out of 8 hours. I don't understand this, it must be an illness, an addiction.

I was at AA long ago, and I have friends, who tell me to stop. Reading dhamma, and friends doesn't really help me. I could help myself, but I'm too weak, I don't stand a chance.

Maybe I should tell my alcoholism to the girl. Is she the only one, who can help me?
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."

— SN 45.8

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Ren
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by Ren » Tue Nov 28, 2017 3:10 pm

oncereturner wrote:
Thu Nov 16, 2017 9:48 pm
Garrib wrote:
Wed Nov 15, 2017 2:03 am
oncereturner wrote:
Wed Nov 15, 2017 12:18 am
I have to stop this somehow.
Please PLEASE do! Think about us here at Dhammawheel - we would all LOVE to one day hear your recovery story, and on the flipside, I would be really disappointed to hear that something bad had happened to you. It doesn't matter that we are separated by cultural and geographic barriers. You matter and people care about you. Please get help and do what needs to be done - get clean and STAY clean. It is possible...

Take care.
Thank you for your support and your kind words. Yesterday I was at a rock concert, and drank very much, my friend hired me a taxi, because i couldn't walk. In the wilderness I also drink very much, sometimes fall asleep in the woods. It's a refugee from the civilization, but not from alcohol. It is everywhere, cheap and nobody cares about a drinking man on the street in my country.

I will try my best. Willpower, medicine, dhamma and everything seems to be useless now. I'm also addicted to (40 mg-s / day) nicotine and mobile gaming. I also take 6 mg-s of benzodiazepine a day.

It's a miracle I was working today, and my work was praised by my boss.

In short, I have several heavy addictions, each one are associated. Gaming, alcohol, benzo, nicotine and so on.

This is just a misery. I'm still thinking about to solution. Maybe forums, AA, doctor, spiritual communities.
Your solution may be to work on the anxiety fetter.

Karuna, Ren.

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Ren
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by Ren » Tue Nov 28, 2017 4:21 pm

dharmacorps wrote:
Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:00 pm
I'm sorry if this isn't well received Oncereturner, but looking to girlfriends or old relationships to help you get sober is not going to help you. In fact, it will hurt you. This person is an added stressor in your life and is going to make things far far worse, regardless of how good of a person she is.

(...)
Good company & friends are extremely important for the path of awakening. Without knowing further context, these old relationships may or may not be good company & friends.

dharmacorps
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by dharmacorps » Tue Nov 28, 2017 5:39 pm

If you have been through recovery, then you know after seeing innumerable examples that exes coming back into your life when you are trying to get sober is like pouring gasoline onto a fire. If you haven't gone through recovery you may not realize that. That has prevented many people from getting sober or delayed it.

In AA sponsors routinely advise no romantic relationships until 1 year after you have been sober.

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oncereturner
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by oncereturner » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:00 am

dharmacorps wrote:
Tue Nov 28, 2017 5:39 pm
If you have been through recovery, then you know after seeing innumerable examples that exes coming back into your life when you are trying to get sober is like pouring gasoline onto a fire. If you haven't gone through recovery you may not realize that. That has prevented many people from getting sober or delayed it.

In AA sponsors routinely advise no romantic relationships until 1 year after you have been sober.
I'm sad to read this. She said she didn't have a relationship in the last 9 years. I haven't seen her since 2008. I guess it is just another lie. She is a notorious liar, I know her very well.

Now everything looks fine, we will meet this weekend. She said she changed for the right in this decade. It seems that she wants me for some reason. If she refuses to meet me, and lying again, I must close this relationship forever. This is not a good perspective, because I don't have a girl for 9 years. She was the only one.

I guess I should go to a pay-girl because I'm unable to find a relationship, but I desperately need a girl.
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."

— SN 45.8

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oncereturner
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by oncereturner » Wed Nov 29, 2017 6:40 pm

To be honest, I can't find a real cause of my addiction. I suffered from a lot of stress and frustration all of my life, but I never drank.

Then one day I decided to drink some wine, because I read it in a newspaper, that some red wine is healthy, and I felt better, so drank more and more. Of course, it is very unhealthy now. Drinking became my lifestyle.

I can blame everything but alcohol itself is to blame.

The situation changed and worsened over the years. I was sober for some months easily, but now I drink every day without a reason. I feel sadness and panic, if I don't get my beer, this feeling is horrible.

Games are a trigger of drinking. Adrenaline-fueled zombie shooters probably do harm in my case. I like to drink while playing.

When I come out of the office, which happens 1 hours later, and I already feel irresistable temptation to drink.

In addition, I substitute not being loved by a girl, with alcohol. I guess everyone needs to be loved.

I'm looking forward to read your wise advices!
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."

— SN 45.8

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bodom
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by bodom » Wed Nov 29, 2017 7:28 pm

You need to go to detox and rehab. I really can't say it any other way. You have to go. No more excuses or justifications or rationalizations. You have to go. And to be honest it's not really that you have to go, or need to go, it's that you need to want to go. Unless your desire to stay sober is stronger than your desire to drink you will never stop and this thread will continue to grow longer and longer with no change. Go to rehab.

:namaste:
To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo


With no struggling, no thinking,
the mind, still,
will see cause and effect
vanishing in the Void.
Attached to nothing, letting go:
Know that this is the way
to allay all stress.

- Upasika Kee Nanayan

dharmacorps
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by dharmacorps » Wed Nov 29, 2017 8:35 pm

Bodom took the words out of my mouth.

This needs to stop. Stop searching for causes and justifications or explanations. Even if you had a perfect explanation for why you drink, it wouldn't get you sober.

Either you want to stop drinking and are willing to do anything to stop it, in which case go to rehab--

or

you aren't seriously done drinking, in which case you will continue to drink and hurt yourself and others. That it will only get worse is not a question-- it will. This is from people who have been there.

binocular
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by binocular » Wed Nov 29, 2017 10:48 pm

dharmacorps wrote:
Wed Nov 29, 2017 8:35 pm
Either you want to stop drinking and are willing to do anything to stop it
Of course he wants to quit. Of course he is willing to do anything to stop it.
It would just help to strenghten, nurture, develop that desire so that it can become strong enough.

- - -
bodom wrote:
Wed Nov 29, 2017 7:28 pm
and this thread will continue to grow longer and longer with no change. Go to rehab.
In the spirit of this: How about some bold action and locking this thread, so as to not enable procrastination about going to rehab or other decisive actions to overcome the addiction?

Instead, another thread can be started, with the theme "What have I done today to overcome my addiction?"
Every person we save is one less zombie to fight. -- World War Z

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oncereturner
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by oncereturner » Wed Nov 29, 2017 11:44 pm

bodom wrote:
Wed Nov 29, 2017 7:28 pm
You need to go to detox and rehab. I really can't say it any other way. You have to go. No more excuses or justifications or rationalizations. You have to go. And to be honest it's not really that you have to go, or need to go, it's that you need to want to go. Unless your desire to stay sober is stronger than your desire to drink you will never stop and this thread will continue to grow longer and longer with no change. Go to rehab.

:namaste:
I see and understand I must go to hospital. I have lost control of drinking.

The problem is that, this year I can't go the detox. Other colleagues went to vacation or hospital. I am the only one who can do this work, no one can do my job.

My boss is already angry, because I was sick (due to hangover) last month for some days. I told her I have high blood pressure... but it's obvious that I'm drinking. She is already thinking of firing me. This month I managed to go to work every day, without serious hangover. I risking losing my job.

This girl really hurts me and makes me drink even more. She causes me pain.

The problem is now very simple, alcoholism has became the greatest problem of my life. Health is the most important. I must beat my addiction.

Maybe next year I can go the rehab... right now I don't know what to do.
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."

— SN 45.8

dharmacorps
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Re: Buddhism and alcohol

Post by dharmacorps » Thu Nov 30, 2017 2:26 am

You do know what to do. You just need to do it. There are no other considerations.

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