Approaching a teacher

[DCM]

Hi, I have found a small Theravada community about an hour from my home. There are 4 ordained monks from the Thai lineage living there, the head monk has been ordained for over 30 years and the one time I've visited there I observed him and found no fault. I am visiting again soon.

There are no formal meditation classes but they do practise mediation. I am looking for a teacher, but I'm unsure as how to approach him. I keep asking myself what if he does not have time to teach a lay person, as the local Thai community rely heavily on him, and would he be interested in teaching a lay person such things as meditation? Should I make offerings for a while and make a few more visits to get more aqainted first?

I'm at the point where I really need a teacher and would be a able to commit 1 to 2 visits a month. It's a difficult one to answer but any advice on approaching him would be appreciated. Thanks

[Caodemarte]

Just ask.

[DCM]

Fair enough, I 'asked' for that one. There obviously isn't anything im not considering before asking, thanks.

[Sam Vara]

If I were you, I would continue to visit and to make offerings. Are you sitting with the monks when they meditate? If not, you could ask whether you would be able to do that. And if you are already sitting with them, then you could simply follow any instructions given. I have been in a similar situation with Thai monks, and the senior monk gave me a short dhamma talk and some advice after each puja. If they allow you to sit but no instructions are given, then would be a good opportunity to ask after the session for some instructions. You would be able to gauge from the response whether any instructions are a quick "one off", or whether the monk would be interested in follow-up sessions. In general, I would ask specific questions on points of the teaching or meditation technique, as a general request that a monk assume the role of a teacher might be a bit too open-ended.

Are the monks themselves Thai, or are there any Westerners? If there are any Westerners there, they might be a good place to start.

I hope this helps a bit - I have been in a similar situation. Good luck!

[mikenz66]

I agree with Sam,

The monks may well want to help you, but feel unsure about whether they can communicate well enough in English. Or they may want you to demonstrate your commitment before discussing meditation. This process can be difficult and frustrating, but ultimately rewarding. It's a great way to build up the parami of patience (khanti).


Mike

[chownah]

I'd start by just asking a question....and then guage by the reply how willing they seem to be to talk with me....and how good their english is. This way you are not making any kind of commitment which you might to decide to not follow up on. If you made a commitment like "I want you to be my teacher" and then after a short while decided to drop it your teacher would suffer a loss of face (perhaps) and in the eyes of those at the temple you would suffer a loss of face (perhaps). In thai culture it is better to not try to corner somone on any issue as in thai culture disagreements and social unpleasentries are to be avoided.
IN summary, start with a question and then a few days or so later ask another one....and gradually develop a dialogue and maybe after awhile you will see that it either is or is not appropriate to ask about someone commiting to being your teacher.....that's what I would do.
chownah

[Crazy cloud]

Just go there and make yourself available according to the path, and be aware beforehand that you might get a little shock because its a difference in style between west and east when it comes to practice - this is mentioned because you say something about "not finding fault with the place yet ..". I've been leaning on to different groups of "kalyana mittas" (thai and westerners), and I experience that a mix of both suites my mind.

Ps: I was contacted by the thai ajahn after going there for a year, and he was a bit puzzeled because he had seen me coming there for a year offering foood and idle hands, helping out as a "dek wat", and never asking for anything - I told him that i was content with the situation, and that i learned and picked up teachings and skills by watching and being patient.

In my experience I sometimes find my mind to stiffen up by western style practice, and the more laidback way of the thais balance out that stiffness.

Best!

recent picture from Wat Santinivas - Rygge/Norway

[DooDoot]

I'm at the point where I really need a teacher and would be a able to commit 1 to 2 visits a month. It's a difficult one to answer but any advice on approaching him would be appreciated. Thanks

For a monk to teach is their livelihood & duty towards lay people. As for being a "student", at least in Theravada, generally, it is not like Mahayana, where some kind of formal devotion may occur. In other words, asking questions once or twice per month is plenty. To be a "student" does not require more commitment than that. I would recommend to simply be respectfully straightforward to the monks. It is important to demonstrate trust in the Sangha. By being hesitant, you are inferring the monks do not have compassion. Therefore, trust in the compassion of the Sangha.

[binocular]

It is important to demonstrate trust in the Sangha.

That takes for granted that the Sangha or a particular sangha can and should be trusted!

[DCM]

Some good advice there, thankyou. As suggested I'll keep calling there as much as possible, and just try and fall into their routine.

I didn't get a chance to speak to the Ajahn today as there were over a 100 lay followers making offerings, it was more of a Thai community festival so I didn't want to interfere.

Yes, all the monks are Thai, and I know the Ajahn at least speaks good English. I'll post up on how it goes. Thanks again.