I try again. I tried to post two times, with no success. My long post disappeared. I hope that third time i can finally post. This time i write in notepad, before posting. The post was so long, that it took an hour to write down, and the website dropped me off, so my post is gone. I just hope that the technology doesn't trick me one more time. It is nearly dawn. It took another two hours, and i'm in hurry. The electricity is just a curse, but at the same time, a blessing. i can write it down even better what i wanted, there must be a reason for everyting. It is very good. I'm thankful.
So again, i was in the deep dark forest at midnight, two times. The darkness is scary, and when i just wanted to post in this forum, my mobile accumulator went off. It would be more elegant, writing right from the woods at midnight, but next time i will succeed. The feeling was so strong, i wanted to share right then. The feeling is vanished to some extent, but never will disappear completely. This means, the flashlight also gone, which was essential. I wondered about the dhammapada which says:
Sorry for the improvisation, i just can't find the text right now. I dont't read the scripts in english. I wonder if it is true or not. i guess it is very true."The forest gives happiness, however the world doesn't like it, the wise man likes it, not the craving people".
I cant't imagine how to live in the forest, like the merits did long time ago. The wilderness is not friendly by any means. It was darkness, only the starlight, and the glittering bugs lighted. I examined the stars very carefully. I didn't recognise the great bear or the Orion, but somehow the stars was arranged well. It means that they was arranged in a reasonable way. Some of them was bright, some was dimmed. i know that they are not at the same distance, it is misguiding. I recognized something miracle. It was very scary. But it was beautiful, i cant't write down what i have seen. The wilderness is dangerous, my frinds, so beware. Only a strong one can do this. But i was never in real danger. Only my feelings was strange. There was a bench in the forest, i rested there, i fell asleep. I was like a homeless merit, without any belongings. Scripture says:
. Another bad translation, sorry. I had such beautiful feelings i could never tell. You may try it in a safe way."Nobody can tell the way of the wise, they like flying birds"
But it was too much, i craved civilization. All my electricity went off. i went to the street, and examined the halo of the streetlamps. I calmed down, i was alone. Nobody could hurt me in any way. Being so alone was a relief. Only me and the emptiness was around. Technology is stressful, but in this situation, i realized it is not meaningless. People developed technology for good reason. The forest always felt like home. But mankind craves convenience. And the cold sand, the watery swamp, the darkness is not convenient. But i'm sure it is the real life.
Then the dawn came, like an enlightement. Another shapes and colors appeared. The swamp was covered in mist, i have seen the sun rising from the east in yellow color, and at the north was still dark blue. The scent of the leafes is like nothing else. It is a bit sweet and heavy feeling. It cleares the mind. I heard the cricketts all the time.
The point is, that dhamma is the only way. It cleares the mind and feelings, and gives a new sight on the world.