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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2017 4:28 am
by JeffR
Image

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 7:47 am
by retrofuturist
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FB_IMG_1513237568596.jpg (44.24 KiB) Viewed 18608 times

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2017 10:04 am
by Kim OHara
rude.jpg
rude.jpg (66.02 KiB) Viewed 18570 times

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 6:42 am
by robertk
stubborn.jpg
stubborn.jpg (72.44 KiB) Viewed 18537 times

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2018 11:47 pm
by Meezer77
Not really a joke as such, but a video of my cat Shug eating chicken. The noises he makes are hilarious


Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 10:19 pm
by Kim OHara
nondual.png
nondual.png (165.68 KiB) Viewed 19083 times
This one is the header image of a FB group, "Nondual Humor" - https://www.facebook.com/groups/1481610875491274/ which looks like our kind of fun.

:coffee:

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2018 10:51 pm
by Kim OHara
dark-force.jpg
dark-force.jpg (79.11 KiB) Viewed 19060 times

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 7:10 am
by robertk
Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: With me, surprises are rarely unexpected.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [about Bizu - dead] It's amazing how he fell perfectly into the chalk outline on the floor.

Ponton: I think they drew the outline after he was shot.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Ah! We must be working with some kind of mastermind!


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
[footsteps are heard in the background]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Shhhh! Footsteps. It's a young woman... 30 to 35 years old... 5'2" ,5'4", brunette. And she is wearing high heels. Perhaps a bit too formal for the afternoon. And she has on... Chanel N°5.

[a male in his forties walks in]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Is anyone with you?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do you have a pair of high heels in that bag?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Not even a small pair of pumps?

Yuri: No.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He is not 'pushing up the daisies,' he is DEAD!

Bizu: [glares] It's an idiom!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: *You*, sir, are the idiom.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?
===================================================================

Nicole: Would you like me to stay behind and help you?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That is a generous offer, Nicole. But I am quite sensitive to office gender politics. And in today's world, the slightest gesture can be misinterpreted as harrasment. And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me into that delicate situation. Agreed?

Nicole: Yes, I agree.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [gives her a quick kiss on her lips] Well, lets seal it with a kiss. And I'll get back to work.

[slaps her on her butt as she goes out]

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2018 7:22 am
by Kim OHara
unique.jpg
unique.jpg (115.6 KiB) Viewed 19004 times

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 8:19 am
by robertk
My neighbor knocked on my door at 3:00 AM. Can you believe it, 3:00 AM?




Lucky for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 11:05 pm
by Kare
nothing is as it seems.jpg
nothing is as it seems.jpg (41.2 KiB) Viewed 18951 times

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:06 am
by robertk
TgC79UU.jpg
TgC79UU.jpg (44.8 KiB) Viewed 18893 times

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:34 pm
by DNS
When I see curling at the Olympics I tend to think "brooming, sweeping . . . seriously; this is a sport?!"

I'll bet their wives say, "look at him sweeping; at home I can't even get him to take out the garbage."

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:56 pm
by Coëmgenu
DNS wrote: Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:34 pm When I see curling at the Olympics I tend to think "brooming, sweeping . . . seriously; this is a sport?!"

I'll bet their wives say, "look at him sweeping; at home I can't even get him to take out the garbage."
It's funny to see Americans point out the sweeping as something funny about curling.

In Canada, it is also considered something of a "strange" sport, but we Canadians just presume that the sweeping "comes with the package", so to speak. We don't even question it. It's " normal". Instead, the humour inherent for us comes from the fanaticism of the crowd.

Go look up literally (not figuratively) any national or Olympic curling match ever. Listen to the crowd *expletive* yell at that sweeper. Listen to that passion.

That is what makes curling truly and profoundly inexplicable.

Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2018 1:00 am
by Meezer77
Some humour from my culture