https://www.facebook.com/groups/1481610875491274/ which looks like our kind of fun.
This one is the header image of a FB group, "Nondual Humor" - Joke!!! 2.0
Re: Joke!!! 2.0
This one is the header image of a FB group, "Nondual Humor" -Re: Joke!!! 2.0
Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: With me, surprises are rarely unexpected.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [about Bizu - dead] It's amazing how he fell perfectly into the chalk outline on the floor.
Ponton: I think they drew the outline after he was shot.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Ah! We must be working with some kind of mastermind!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
[footsteps are heard in the background]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Shhhh! Footsteps. It's a young woman... 30 to 35 years old... 5'2" ,5'4", brunette. And she is wearing high heels. Perhaps a bit too formal for the afternoon. And she has on... Chanel N°5.
[a male in his forties walks in]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Is anyone with you?
Yuri: No.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do you have a pair of high heels in that bag?
Yuri: No.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Not even a small pair of pumps?
Yuri: No.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He is not 'pushing up the daisies,' he is DEAD!
Bizu: [glares] It's an idiom!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: *You*, sir, are the idiom.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?
===================================================================
Nicole: Would you like me to stay behind and help you?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That is a generous offer, Nicole. But I am quite sensitive to office gender politics. And in today's world, the slightest gesture can be misinterpreted as harrasment. And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me into that delicate situation. Agreed?
Nicole: Yes, I agree.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [gives her a quick kiss on her lips] Well, lets seal it with a kiss. And I'll get back to work.
[slaps her on her butt as she goes out]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: With me, surprises are rarely unexpected.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [about Bizu - dead] It's amazing how he fell perfectly into the chalk outline on the floor.
Ponton: I think they drew the outline after he was shot.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Ah! We must be working with some kind of mastermind!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
[footsteps are heard in the background]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Shhhh! Footsteps. It's a young woman... 30 to 35 years old... 5'2" ,5'4", brunette. And she is wearing high heels. Perhaps a bit too formal for the afternoon. And she has on... Chanel N°5.
[a male in his forties walks in]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Is anyone with you?
Yuri: No.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do you have a pair of high heels in that bag?
Yuri: No.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Not even a small pair of pumps?
Yuri: No.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He is not 'pushing up the daisies,' he is DEAD!
Bizu: [glares] It's an idiom!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: *You*, sir, are the idiom.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?
===================================================================
Nicole: Would you like me to stay behind and help you?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That is a generous offer, Nicole. But I am quite sensitive to office gender politics. And in today's world, the slightest gesture can be misinterpreted as harrasment. And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me into that delicate situation. Agreed?
Nicole: Yes, I agree.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [gives her a quick kiss on her lips] Well, lets seal it with a kiss. And I'll get back to work.
[slaps her on her butt as she goes out]
Re: Joke!!! 2.0
My neighbor knocked on my door at 3:00 AM. Can you believe it, 3:00 AM?
Lucky for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.
Lucky for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0
When I see curling at the Olympics I tend to think "brooming, sweeping . . . seriously; this is a sport?!"
I'll bet their wives say, "look at him sweeping; at home I can't even get him to take out the garbage."
I'll bet their wives say, "look at him sweeping; at home I can't even get him to take out the garbage."
Re: Joke!!! 2.0
It's funny to see Americans point out the sweeping as something funny about curling.
In Canada, it is also considered something of a "strange" sport, but we Canadians just presume that the sweeping "comes with the package", so to speak. We don't even question it. It's " normal". Instead, the humour inherent for us comes from the fanaticism of the crowd.
Go look up literally (not figuratively) any national or Olympic curling match ever. Listen to the crowd *expletive* yell at that sweeper. Listen to that passion.
That is what makes curling truly and profoundly inexplicable.
What is the Uncreated?
Sublime & free, what is that obscured Eternity?
It is the Undying, the Bright, the Isle.
It is an Ocean, a Secret: Reality.
Both life and oblivion, it is Nirvāṇa.
Sublime & free, what is that obscured Eternity?
It is the Undying, the Bright, the Isle.
It is an Ocean, a Secret: Reality.
Both life and oblivion, it is Nirvāṇa.
Re: Joke!!! 2.0
Some humour from my culture
Re: Joke!!! 2.0
Therein what are 'six (types of) disrespect'? One dwells without respect, without deference for the Teacher; one dwells without respect, without deference for the Teaching; one dwells without respect, without deference for the Order; one dwells without respect, without deference for the precepts; one dwells without respect, without deference for heedfulness; one dwells without respect, without deference for hospitality. These are six (types of) disrespect.
:Vibh 945
:Vibh 945
Re: Joke!!! 2.0
I think he didn't get it, because the notion that 'we are all one' is not, despite what New Agers might think, something Buddhists believe, hence HHDL didn't get it for the right reason!
To the Buddha-refuge i go; to the Dhamma-refuge i go; to the Sangha-refuge i go.
Re: Joke!!! 2.0
Therein what are 'six (types of) disrespect'? One dwells without respect, without deference for the Teacher; one dwells without respect, without deference for the Teaching; one dwells without respect, without deference for the Order; one dwells without respect, without deference for the precepts; one dwells without respect, without deference for heedfulness; one dwells without respect, without deference for hospitality. These are six (types of) disrespect.
:Vibh 945
:Vibh 945