Joke!!! 2.0

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Disciple
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Disciple » Sat Aug 26, 2017 2:14 am

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CedarTree
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by CedarTree » Sat Aug 26, 2017 4:21 am

Disciple wrote:Image
It's funny because it's true lol


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CedarTree
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by CedarTree » Sat Aug 26, 2017 5:15 pm

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Coëmgenu
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Coëmgenu » Sun Aug 27, 2017 6:49 pm

A Buddhist, a Christian, a Muslim, a Hindu, and a Jew talk into a bar and the bartender says:

"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?!"

...maybe I shouldn't tell jokes.
世尊在靈山會上拈華示眾眾皆默然唯迦葉破顏微笑世尊云
The Lord dwelt at the Vulture Peak with the assembly and plucked a flower as a teaching. The myriad totality were silent, save for Kāśyapa, whose face cracked in a faint smile. The Lord spoke.

吾有正法眼藏涅槃妙心實相無相微妙法門不立文字教外別傳付囑摩訶迦葉。
I have the treasure of the true dharma eye, I have nirvāṇa as wondrous citta, I know signless dharmatā, the subtle dharma-gate, which is not standing on written word, which is external to scriptures, which is a special dispensation, which is entrusted to Mahākāśyapa.

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CedarTree
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by CedarTree » Sun Aug 27, 2017 6:58 pm

Coëmgenu wrote:A Buddhist, a Christian, a Muslim, a Hindu, and a Jew talk into a bar and the bartender says:

"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?!"

...maybe I shouldn't tell jokes.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ;)


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Aloka
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Aloka » Tue Aug 29, 2017 8:57 am

CedarTree wrote:
Disciple wrote:Image
It's funny because it's true lol


A blatantly sexist "joke" which has never been true in connection with myself as a woman, nor anyone I've ever known.

.

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CedarTree
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by CedarTree » Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:05 pm

Aloka wrote:
CedarTree wrote:
Disciple wrote:Image
It's funny because it's true lol


A blatantly sexist "joke" which has never been true in connection with myself as a woman, nor anyone I've ever known.

.
Jokes are sometimes absurd. Not all humor is of the same style but in any case I'll speak for myself: Sorry I upset you :hug:


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CedarTree
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by CedarTree » Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:07 pm

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Sea Turtle
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Sea Turtle » Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:16 pm

Disciple wrote:Image

I'm the female breadwinner of my family. And the all-around glue that holds everything together, preventing the scenario depicted in image #3. So, nope, I don't relate to this either.

:anjali:

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binocular
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by binocular » Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:18 pm

Coëmgenu wrote:A Buddhist, a Christian, a Muslim, a Hindu, and a Jew talk into a bar and the bartender says:
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?!"
...maybe I shouldn't tell jokes.
I don't get it ...

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CedarTree
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by CedarTree » Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:19 pm

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Aloka
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Aloka » Tue Aug 29, 2017 4:05 pm

Sea Turtle wrote: I'm the female breadwinner of my family. And the all-around glue that holds everything together, preventing the scenario depicted in image #3. So, nope, I don't relate to this either.

:goodpost:

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CedarTree
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by CedarTree » Tue Aug 29, 2017 4:21 pm

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Disciple
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Disciple » Wed Aug 30, 2017 6:06 am

Aloka wrote: A blatantly sexist "joke" which has never been true in connection with myself as a woman, nor anyone I've ever known.
I know a few men including a cousin of mine who have been taken to the cleaners by their ex wives in divorce courts. These situations are very common where I live. It is not sexist, just the reality.

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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Disciple » Wed Aug 30, 2017 6:28 am

How to tell if your dog is involved in a sex scandal

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cjmacie
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by cjmacie » Wed Aug 30, 2017 7:18 am

This could go into one of the political threads, but probably less inflammatory here...
DC082917.jpg
DC082917.jpg (54.25 KiB) Viewed 1560 times
https://www.newyorker.com/cartoons/dail ... Y1NjM5OQS2

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CedarTree
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by CedarTree » Thu Aug 31, 2017 9:10 pm

The message of intense Zen places like Gyobutsuji Zen Monastery, Antai-ji, and Sanshin Zen Community summed up hah. :tongue:

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Coëmgenu
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Coëmgenu » Thu Aug 31, 2017 9:36 pm

binocular wrote:
Coëmgenu wrote:A Buddhist, a Christian, a Muslim, a Hindu, and a Jew talk into a bar and the bartender says:
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?!"
...maybe I shouldn't tell jokes.
I don't get it ...
It is my strange sense of humour. There is a certain beautiful qualia to the perfect non-sequitur, IMO.

The set-up for an "ethnic" or "religious" joke is interrupted by the bartender, who, instead of referencing the relevant party, is concluding a rendition of a silly childhood joke that is popular here in Canada (and I assume in America?), to an audience that is not mentioned in the set-up for the joke.

Like I said, I don't tell that many jokes (actually I do). But maybe I shouldn't.

The joke, which most Canadian youths know, at least, is:

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
["Banana who?"
"Banana."]
[repeat bracketed elements ad nauseam, then finally, at one point:]
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"...orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

"Orange" sounds like "aren't" to a native speaker of Canadian (and American, I assume) English. Its a terrible horrible no good very bad pun.
世尊在靈山會上拈華示眾眾皆默然唯迦葉破顏微笑世尊云
The Lord dwelt at the Vulture Peak with the assembly and plucked a flower as a teaching. The myriad totality were silent, save for Kāśyapa, whose face cracked in a faint smile. The Lord spoke.

吾有正法眼藏涅槃妙心實相無相微妙法門不立文字教外別傳付囑摩訶迦葉。
I have the treasure of the true dharma eye, I have nirvāṇa as wondrous citta, I know signless dharmatā, the subtle dharma-gate, which is not standing on written word, which is external to scriptures, which is a special dispensation, which is entrusted to Mahākāśyapa.

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cjmacie
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by cjmacie » Fri Sep 01, 2017 7:58 am

Coëmgenu wrote:
binocular wrote:
Coëmgenu wrote:A Buddhist, a Christian, a Muslim, a Hindu, and a Jew talk into a bar and the bartender says:
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?!"
...maybe I shouldn't tell jokes.
I don't get it ...
It is my strange sense of humour. There is a certain beautiful qualia to the perfect non-sequitur, IMO.
...."Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
["Banana who?"
"Banana."]
[repeat bracketed elements ad nauseam, then finally, at one point:]
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"...orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

"Orange" sounds like "aren't" to a native speaker of Canadian (and American, I assume) English. Its a terrible horrible no good very bad pun.
In American pronunciation (at least to my ear) it might be phrased more as:
"Orange glad I didn't say banana"? Or more precisely "Or[a]n-ge glad..." sounding like "Orn-jh(e) glad I didn't say banana?"

That is to say, the "-ge" sound at the end is barely voiced, just a consonant sound with a lot of aspiration ("h"-ness) in it, which does sound like the "...t you" of "aren't you" when pronounced in common, slurred speech -- sounded more like "choo". Saying "aren't" and then "you" distinctly requires a sort of pause between the "t" and the "you". Said rapidly they run together and "tyou" comes out with a lot of "h", i.e. "th" but more like "ch".

And this sound is quite close to the soft "g" "-g(e)" in 'orange' (as distinct from the hard "g" as in "gas"), but actually rather more like "j", or "jh. The distinction between "ch..." and "jh..." is subtle in American English.

(Though it might more critical in a language like Mandarin Chinese where soft "g", soft "c" and "j" are meaningfully distinct. Inversely, the "b" and "p" distinction in Chinese isn't that important, where it is in English -- they might say, for instance "bee-pee" for English "pee-pee". Like our case above, the difference here is the "h"-like aspiration in "p" which lacks in "b".)

btw: [Wikipedia] "The colour orange is named after the appearance of the ripe orange fruit.[2] The word comes from the Old French orange, from the old term for the fruit, pomme d'orange. The French word, in turn, comes from the Italian arancia,[3][4] based on Arabic nāranj, derived from the Sanskrit naranga.[5]"

And elsewhere: "Pali :nāraṅga : (m.) the mandarin orange tree"

[I would have guessed "orange" going back to Latin "aurantium" (gold), which, however, does get mentioned as the origin of Italian "arancia". But then that doesn't so smoothly lead back to the Arabic and Sanskrit (/Pali) forms. (?) And the lineage from Sanskrit (Indo-Euopean) to Arabic (Semetic, NOT Indo European) and back to European languages? ]

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robertk
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by robertk » Fri Sep 01, 2017 10:19 am

And elsewhere: "Pali :nāraṅga : (m.) the mandarin orange tree"

[I would have guessed "orange" going back to Latin "aurantium" (gold), which, however, does get mentioned as the origin of Italian "arancia". But then that doesn't so smoothly lead back to the Arabic and Sanskrit (/Pali) forms. (?) And the lineage from Sanskrit (Indo-Euopean) to Arabic (Semetic, NOT Indo European) and back to European languages?
who said Buddhists don't have a sense of humor..

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