Joke!!! 2.0

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
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JeffR
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by JeffR » Tue Dec 12, 2017 4:28 am

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Therein what are 'six (types of) disrespect'? One dwells without respect, without deference for the Teacher; one dwells without respect, without deference for the Teaching; one dwells without respect, without deference for the Order; one dwells without respect, without deference for the precepts; one dwells without respect, without deference for heedfulness; one dwells without respect, without deference for hospitality. These are six (types of) disrespect.
:Vibh 945

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retrofuturist
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by retrofuturist » Thu Dec 14, 2017 7:47 am

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"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"One discerns wrong view as wrong view, and right view as right view. This is one's right view." (MN 117)

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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Kim OHara » Thu Dec 21, 2017 10:04 am

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robertk
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by robertk » Sat Dec 23, 2017 6:42 am

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Meezer77
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Meezer77 » Thu Jan 04, 2018 11:47 pm

Not really a joke as such, but a video of my cat Shug eating chicken. The noises he makes are hilarious


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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Kim OHara » Thu Jan 11, 2018 10:19 pm

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This one is the header image of a FB group, "Nondual Humor" - https://www.facebook.com/groups/1481610875491274/ which looks like our kind of fun.

:coffee:

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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Kim OHara » Tue Jan 16, 2018 10:51 pm

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robertk
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by robertk » Thu Jan 18, 2018 7:10 am

Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: With me, surprises are rarely unexpected.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [about Bizu - dead] It's amazing how he fell perfectly into the chalk outline on the floor.

Ponton: I think they drew the outline after he was shot.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Ah! We must be working with some kind of mastermind!


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
[footsteps are heard in the background]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Shhhh! Footsteps. It's a young woman... 30 to 35 years old... 5'2" ,5'4", brunette. And she is wearing high heels. Perhaps a bit too formal for the afternoon. And she has on... Chanel N°5.

[a male in his forties walks in]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Is anyone with you?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do you have a pair of high heels in that bag?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Not even a small pair of pumps?

Yuri: No.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He is not 'pushing up the daisies,' he is DEAD!

Bizu: [glares] It's an idiom!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: *You*, sir, are the idiom.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?
===================================================================

Nicole: Would you like me to stay behind and help you?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That is a generous offer, Nicole. But I am quite sensitive to office gender politics. And in today's world, the slightest gesture can be misinterpreted as harrasment. And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me into that delicate situation. Agreed?

Nicole: Yes, I agree.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [gives her a quick kiss on her lips] Well, lets seal it with a kiss. And I'll get back to work.

[slaps her on her butt as she goes out]

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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Kim OHara » Sun Jan 28, 2018 7:22 am

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robertk
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by robertk » Tue Feb 06, 2018 8:19 am

My neighbor knocked on my door at 3:00 AM. Can you believe it, 3:00 AM?




Lucky for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.

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Kare
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Kare » Tue Feb 06, 2018 11:05 pm

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Mettāya,
Kåre

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robertk
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by robertk » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:06 am

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DNS
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by DNS » Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:34 pm

When I see curling at the Olympics I tend to think "brooming, sweeping . . . seriously; this is a sport?!"

I'll bet their wives say, "look at him sweeping; at home I can't even get him to take out the garbage."

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Coëmgenu
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Coëmgenu » Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:56 pm

DNS wrote:
Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:34 pm
When I see curling at the Olympics I tend to think "brooming, sweeping . . . seriously; this is a sport?!"

I'll bet their wives say, "look at him sweeping; at home I can't even get him to take out the garbage."
It's funny to see Americans point out the sweeping as something funny about curling.

In Canada, it is also considered something of a "strange" sport, but we Canadians just presume that the sweeping "comes with the package", so to speak. We don't even question it. It's " normal". Instead, the humour inherent for us comes from the fanaticism of the crowd.

Go look up literally (not figuratively) any national or Olympic curling match ever. Listen to the crowd *expletive* yell at that sweeper. Listen to that passion.

That is what makes curling truly and profoundly inexplicable.
世尊在靈山會上拈華示眾眾皆默然唯迦葉破顏微笑世尊云
The Lord dwelt at the Vulture Peak with the assembly and plucked a flower as a teaching. The myriad totality were silent, save for Kāśyapa, whose face cracked in a faint smile. The Lord spoke.
吾有正法眼藏涅槃妙心實相無相微妙法門不立文字教外別傳付囑摩訶迦葉。
I have the treasure of the true dharma eye, I have nirvāṇa as wondrous citta, I know signless dharmatā, the subtle dharma-gate, which is not standing on written word, which is external to scriptures, which is a special dispensation, which is entrusted to Mahākāśyapa.

नस्वातोनापिपरतोनद्वाभ्यांनाप्यहेतुतः

Meezer77
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Meezer77 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 1:00 am

Some humour from my culture


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