Joke!!! 2.0

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Kim OHara » Thu Jan 11, 2018 10:19 pm

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This one is the header image of a FB group, "Nondual Humor" - https://www.facebook.com/groups/1481610875491274/ which looks like our kind of fun.

:coffee:

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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Kim OHara » Tue Jan 16, 2018 10:51 pm

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robertk
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by robertk » Thu Jan 18, 2018 7:10 am

Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: With me, surprises are rarely unexpected.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [about Bizu - dead] It's amazing how he fell perfectly into the chalk outline on the floor.

Ponton: I think they drew the outline after he was shot.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Ah! We must be working with some kind of mastermind!


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
[footsteps are heard in the background]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Shhhh! Footsteps. It's a young woman... 30 to 35 years old... 5'2" ,5'4", brunette. And she is wearing high heels. Perhaps a bit too formal for the afternoon. And she has on... Chanel N°5.

[a male in his forties walks in]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Is anyone with you?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do you have a pair of high heels in that bag?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Not even a small pair of pumps?

Yuri: No.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He is not 'pushing up the daisies,' he is DEAD!

Bizu: [glares] It's an idiom!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: *You*, sir, are the idiom.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?
===================================================================

Nicole: Would you like me to stay behind and help you?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That is a generous offer, Nicole. But I am quite sensitive to office gender politics. And in today's world, the slightest gesture can be misinterpreted as harrasment. And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me into that delicate situation. Agreed?

Nicole: Yes, I agree.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [gives her a quick kiss on her lips] Well, lets seal it with a kiss. And I'll get back to work.

[slaps her on her butt as she goes out]

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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Kim OHara » Sun Jan 28, 2018 7:22 am

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robertk
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by robertk » Tue Feb 06, 2018 8:19 am

My neighbor knocked on my door at 3:00 AM. Can you believe it, 3:00 AM?




Lucky for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.

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Kare
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Kare » Tue Feb 06, 2018 11:05 pm

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Mettāya,
Kåre

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robertk
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by robertk » Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:06 am

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DNS
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by DNS » Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:34 pm

When I see curling at the Olympics I tend to think "brooming, sweeping . . . seriously; this is a sport?!"

I'll bet their wives say, "look at him sweeping; at home I can't even get him to take out the garbage."

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Coëmgenu
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Coëmgenu » Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:56 pm

DNS wrote:
Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:34 pm
When I see curling at the Olympics I tend to think "brooming, sweeping . . . seriously; this is a sport?!"

I'll bet their wives say, "look at him sweeping; at home I can't even get him to take out the garbage."
It's funny to see Americans point out the sweeping as something funny about curling.

In Canada, it is also considered something of a "strange" sport, but we Canadians just presume that the sweeping "comes with the package", so to speak. We don't even question it. It's " normal". Instead, the humour inherent for us comes from the fanaticism of the crowd.

Go look up literally (not figuratively) any national or Olympic curling match ever. Listen to the crowd *expletive* yell at that sweeper. Listen to that passion.

That is what makes curling truly and profoundly inexplicable.
子念昔貧,志意下劣,今於父所,大獲珍寶,并及舍宅、一切財物。甚大歡喜,得未曾有。
The son thought of past poverty, outlook humble, now having from father a treasure harvest, also father's house, all his wealth. Great joy - to have what was never before had.

Τῆς πατρῴας, δόξης σου, ἀποσκιρτήσας ἀφρόνως, ἐν κακοῖς ἐσκόρπισα, ὅν μοι παρέδωκας πλοῦτον· ὅθεν σοι τὴν τοῦ Ἀσώτου, φωνὴν κραυγάζω· Ἥμαρτον ἐνώπιόν σου Πάτερ οἰκτίρμον, δέξαι με μετανοοῦντα, καὶ ποίησόν με, ὡς ἕνα τῶν μισθίων σου.
Your fatherly due I withheld unthinking, in evil I wasted your wealth; a prodigal cries, "I've erred, father, receive the repentant as serf."

妙法蓮華經 Κοντάκιον τοῦ Ἀσώτου

Meezer77
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Meezer77 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 1:00 am

Some humour from my culture


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