what do to in case of defamation?

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Ren
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what do to in case of defamation?

Post by Ren » Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:22 am

hi everyone,

there is a restaurant that I used to visit (sometimes often), where a small group of people (I don't know exactly how many) started a defamation against me. In summary it is "issues with the waitresses", however on such a gravity that I was told that I "should not return".

I left some time pass, and did basically two things: leave a negative review on the unofficial website of the restaurant (which I later deleted) and contact both the administrator and owner (the owner has not replied). The dialogue was basically insulting against me, while I tried to be diplomatic.

At this point, I don't want to return to that place... and the best course of action may be to let it go. However, it is not nice that they keep defamating me. Besides doing nothing more, I have no idea what to do.

SarathW
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Re: what do to in case of defamation?

Post by SarathW » Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:47 am

it is "issues with the waitresses"
Perhaps you should have give her a tip and let it go.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”

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DNS
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Re: what do to in case of defamation?

Post by DNS » Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:51 am

Ren wrote:The dialogue was basically insulting against me, while I tried to be diplomatic.
Where did this dialogue take place? Was is it on a review site? Were you using your real name or a username? Review sites, like forums have wide-scale immunity from legal action, within reason of course as long as there are no threats to bodily harm. And especially if you were using a username not identifying to you, there can be no defamation so in that case the best thing is to forget it and let it go.

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Ren
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Re: what do to in case of defamation?

Post by Ren » Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:53 am

David N. Snyder wrote:
Ren wrote:The dialogue was basically insulting against me, while I tried to be diplomatic.
Where did this dialogue take place? Was is it on a review site? Were you using your real name or a username? Review sites, like forums have wide-scale immunity from legal action, within reason of course as long as there are no threats to bodily harm. And especially if you were using a username not identifying to you, there can be no defamation so in that case the best thing is to forget it and let it go.
the dialogue was in a "social media" website... the defamation was done much earlier, face to face.

yeah, that was my guess... just let it go. I hope they get tired of lying.

chownah
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Re: what do to in case of defamation?

Post by chownah » Mon Mar 20, 2017 2:07 am

If this defamation will interfere with your life then there might be cause to confront it perhaps.....seems like not going to a certain restaurant would not be much of an interference...if they are insulting you then is seems like that restaurant would not be a very pleasant place to eat at anyway. If it will not interfere with your life then your concern seems to just be you defending your delusional sense of self.....which is something you should observe carefully to help you come to a better understanding of the buddha's teachings on anatta.

Defamation covers alot of territory. You may think it is defamation while others may think it is just an accurate description. A restaurant telling you to leave means they veiw it as being somewhat serious in that they are losing business. You don't describe just what the problem is. How are we to advise you as to what to do?

chownah

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ganegaar
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Re: what do to in case of defamation?

Post by ganegaar » Mon Mar 20, 2017 1:01 pm

It is a prison of the past (Ajan Brahm's words), you got to jail brake!!!
Yes, they did that once to face, but that is "past", but since then, each time it comes to your mind, each time you feel that uncomfortable feeling, you are getting "defamed" again and again, and all by yourself, isn't it?
So, jail brake from this past, be free, let go! (ah, easy to say than do, as always with these dhamma things!!!)
Sīlepatiṭṭhāya naro sapañño, cittaṃ paññañca bhāvayaṃ;
Ātāpī nipako bhikkhu, so imaṃ vijaṭaye jaṭanti.

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Ren
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Re: what do to in case of defamation?

Post by Ren » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:21 pm

those are good points... the only way it may interfere is if it becomes widely known just as I publish my first book. I understand anatta and impermanence, but this types of lies have to be treated carefully... someone may lose a job, or there can be serious consequences (for the defamed).

AFAIK, it was a rumour that got out of hand. The only thing that happened was that a waitress told me that I can't switch tables, to which I explained why I was switching (that was after paying the order). She went on... I simply stopped talking, and after some time switched tables and left the place.

I have just a general clue in what this defamation, lies or rumours are... but they seem serious since they told me not to return.

thanks for all the comments.

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SDC
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Re: what do to in case of defamation?

Post by SDC » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:38 pm

Ren wrote:...they told me not to return.
Well, you are a non-returner...

https://dhammawheel.com/viewtopic.php?f ... 44#p412480

:tongue:

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Sam Vara
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Re: what do to in case of defamation?

Post by Sam Vara » Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:40 pm

SDC wrote:
Ren wrote:...they told me not to return.
Well, you are a non-returner...

https://dhammawheel.com/viewtopic.php?f ... 44#p412480

:tongue:
Best post of the day.

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SDC
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Re: what do to in case of defamation?

Post by SDC » Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:10 pm

Sam Vara wrote:
SDC wrote:
Ren wrote:...they told me not to return.
Well, you are a non-returner...

https://dhammawheel.com/viewtopic.php?f ... 44#p412480

:tongue:
Best post of the day.
I have to give Ren some of the credit for the perfect set up.

@Ren, I hope you can see this joke was meant in good faith.

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ganegaar
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Re: what do to in case of defamation?

Post by ganegaar » Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:36 am

Ren wrote:.. the only way it may interfere is if it becomes widely known just as ....
You got another prison to jail brake, prison of future!
You are not alone, I my self so often jail brake the past often to be found in the future!!!
You might already know future is a hard place to be in! So why do we all allow ourselves the torment!

I suppose we all got to perfect the art of jail brake so that times we are free are more than the times we are caught!
Sīlepatiṭṭhāya naro sapañño, cittaṃ paññañca bhāvayaṃ;
Ātāpī nipako bhikkhu, so imaṃ vijaṭaye jaṭanti.

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Ren
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Re: what do to in case of defamation?

Post by Ren » Tue Mar 21, 2017 1:36 am

Sam Vara wrote:
SDC wrote:
Ren wrote:...they told me not to return.
Well, you are a non-returner...

https://dhammawheel.com/viewtopic.php?f ... 44#p412480

:tongue:
Best post of the day.
it was funny indeed...

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