"If life is the way it is, then life is the way it should be, whether you want it or not, whether you like it or not."
We want our life to be a certain way; yet life often goes its own way. We want to get the things we want, we want to succeed in life. Some people succeed, others fail. For those who fail, the above quote is hard to stomach. We have shoulds and shouldn'ts but life doesn't always honour our shoulds or shouldn'ts.
Yet, this world operates through a law, the law of kamma-vipaka. People say that "Everything happens for a reason." It's easy for someone who is successful to say that, but few would say that when everything in their life is going wrong.
Sometimes things happen which we do not want to accept. We feel they shouldn't have happened because they have caused us pain. Or we do things we regret, and we say we shouldn't have done those things.
The point is that reality is not always as we want it to be. But if it is reality, and it is the way it is, then maybe there is a reason for that, maybe it should be like that.
If life is the way it is
Re: If life is the way it is
Maybe if we take away all the shoulds and shouldn't, all the expectations and demands and desires of what life "should be", and we rest with things as they are, be they good or bad, then we'll have peace?
I don't know, I am just learning and contemplating at the moment.
I don't know, I am just learning and contemplating at the moment.
Re: If life is the way it is
Upasaka Sumana wrote: The point is that reality is not always as we want it to be. But if it is reality, and it is the way it is, then maybe there is a reason for that, maybe it should be like that.
You will not want a drunk to say "this is just the way life is, maybe there is a reason for it, why change?" So there are situations when we should take a long, hard look at our life and try to change.Upasaka Sumana wrote:Maybe if we take away all the shoulds and shouldn't, all the expectations and demands and desires of what life "should be", and we rest with things as they are, be they good or bad, then we'll have peace?
How do we know when we should (not) strive to change our lives? Where lies the line in the sand?
"The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”― Albert Camus
Re: If life is the way it is
Two quotes come to mind.
"Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference." Reinhold Niebuhr
"If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying?
If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?" Shantideva
"Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference." Reinhold Niebuhr
"If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying?
If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?" Shantideva
And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech.
Re: If life is the way it is
I think that the idea of "taking away" the shoulds and shouldnots is not so helpful. I think it is probaby better to show a way so that the shoulds and shouldnots do not arise. In other words, what you say is pretty good but it says nothing about the execution of a plan to get from here to there.Upasaka Sumana wrote:Maybe if we take away all the shoulds and shouldn't, all the expectations and demands and desires of what life "should be", and we rest with things as they are, be they good or bad, then we'll have peace?
I don't know, I am just learning and contemplating at the moment.
chownah