Asking a coworker if they are Buddhist

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rolling_boulder
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Asking a coworker if they are Buddhist

Post by rolling_boulder » Tue Aug 18, 2015 2:32 am

Hello,

I am fairly certain that one of my coworkers is Buddhist, because she occasionally mentions meditation, doesn't drink alcohol, is a very pleasant and relaxed person, and I once saw her making an offering of water to her deceased parents.

Do you think it would be appropriate to ask her if she is a Buddhist? (BTW: She's quite a bit older, and married, no romantic stuff here. Just looking for admirable friends.)

Thanks
RB.
The world is swept away. It does not endure...
The world is without shelter, without protector...
The world is without ownership. One has to pass on, leaving everything behind...
The world is insufficient, insatiable, a slave to craving.

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samseva
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Re: Asking a coworker if they are Buddhist

Post by samseva » Tue Aug 18, 2015 2:38 am

Why not?

"Hey, by the way, you mentioned meditation. I was just curious, are you interested in Buddhism?"
"No, I am a Satanist."
"Oh, okay."

Two last lines are fictional. :smile:

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Kim OHara
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Location: North Queensland, Australia

Re: Asking a coworker if they are Buddhist

Post by Kim OHara » Tue Aug 18, 2015 6:51 am

"Are you interested in Buddhism?" may work better than, "Are you Buddhist?"
There's more wiggle-room, less sense of committing to an identity. There are (still) situations where I would happily say "Yes," to the first question but prefer not to answer the second.

:coffee:
Kim

sattva
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Re: Asking a coworker if they are Buddhist

Post by sattva » Thu Aug 20, 2015 7:40 pm

rolling_boulder wrote:Hello,

I am fairly certain that one of my coworkers is Buddhist, because she occasionally mentions meditation, doesn't drink alcohol, is a very pleasant and relaxed person, and I once saw her making an offering of water to her deceased parents.

Do you think it would be appropriate to ask her if she is a Buddhist? (BTW: She's quite a bit older, and married, no romantic stuff here. Just looking for admirable friends.)

Thanks
RB.
"You meditate? That's interesting. I do, too. How did you get started in meditation?"

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Vanda
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Re: Asking a coworker if they are Buddhist

Post by Vanda » Sun Aug 23, 2015 4:35 am

How about using a "knock knock" joke of some kind.
Last edited by Vanda on Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
“Don’t go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, ‘This contemplative is our teacher.’ When you know for yourselves that, ‘These qualities are skillful; these qualities are blameless; these qualities are praised by the wise; these qualities, when adopted and carried out, lead to welfare and to happiness’ — then you should enter and remain in them.”
- Kalama Sutta, Anguttara Nikaya

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Ben
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Re: Asking a coworker if they are Buddhist

Post by Ben » Sun Aug 23, 2015 5:36 am

rolling_boulder wrote:Hello,

I am fairly certain that one of my coworkers is Buddhist, because she occasionally mentions meditation, doesn't drink alcohol, is a very pleasant and relaxed person, and I once saw her making an offering of water to her deceased parents.

Do you think it would be appropriate to ask her if she is a Buddhist? (BTW: She's quite a bit older, and married, no romantic stuff here. Just looking for admirable friends.)

Thanks
RB.
What I suggest you do is not ask. She will tell you if she wants you to know. You will know her by her behaviour. if you would like to have her as an admirable friend, then treat her like one.
Kind regards,
Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

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Buckwheat
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Re: Asking a coworker if they are Buddhist

Post by Buckwheat » Sun Aug 23, 2015 2:02 pm

Asking a coworker if they are Buddhist? NO

Asking a friend (who happens to be a coworker) if they are a Buddhist? Probably OK.

Ben is right that this piece of information is irrelevant to them being an admirable friend. I have respected many people who come from social groups that, as a whole, I do not respect. Rednecks are ridiculous, but I live in redneck county, and the one's that are not bigots are often very wonderful people. Mormons have a ridiculous religion, but I have had deep respect for a handful of LDS individuals. Also, there are Buddhists who are immoral.
Sotthī hontu nirantaraṃ - May you forever be well.

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Vanda
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Re: Asking a coworker if they are Buddhist

Post by Vanda » Sat Aug 29, 2015 12:56 am

“Don’t go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, ‘This contemplative is our teacher.’ When you know for yourselves that, ‘These qualities are skillful; these qualities are blameless; these qualities are praised by the wise; these qualities, when adopted and carried out, lead to welfare and to happiness’ — then you should enter and remain in them.”
- Kalama Sutta, Anguttara Nikaya

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