"She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

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Pax
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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by Pax » Sat Jan 05, 2013 8:00 pm

Not all men are rapists... but most rapists are male.

As a female I remain cautious and guarded around males unknown to me, especially younger ones in groups.

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Annapurna
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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by Annapurna » Sat Jan 05, 2013 8:54 pm

Pax wrote:Not all men are rapists... but most rapists are male.

As a female I remain cautious and guarded around males unknown to me, especially younger ones in groups.
Thank you, exactly my opinion too.

My father warned me a lot, basically each night when I went out. As a doctor, he had treated rape victims and you can imagine how concerned a father is when he knows his own daughter might encounter bad company...

Anyhow, I was still too trusting and came into jeopardy and couldn't prevent getting attacked.

The 2 attempted rapes I escaped were from men I knew and trusted, that I had expected protection of !

Many rapes occur between people who know each other, date rapes, etc.

manas
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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by manas » Sat Jan 05, 2013 9:13 pm

The idea of raping anyone, is so abhorrent and distant from my mind, that my reaction is still horror and a sad, numb kind of shock, every time I hear of another report of rape.

As a man, I wanted to point out that most men would not commit this abhorrent act, even if they thought there would be no consequence. Yes there are more male sex offenders than female per se, but we must not see it as a characteristic of manhood. I would argue, it is just the opposite. Those who commit rape are not men in the true sense of the word; I would call them messed up, angry, oversized boys, (and sometimes, virtually two-legged animals), but not men.

:anjali:
“It would be better for the uninstructed run-of-the-mill person to hold to the body composed of the four great elements, rather than the mind, as the self. Why is that? Because this body composed of the four great elements is seen standing for a year, two years, three, four, five, ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, a hundred years or more. But what’s called ‘mind,’ ‘intellect,’ or ‘consciousness’ by day and by night arises as one thing and ceases as another." - SN 12:61 (excerpt)

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cooran
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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by cooran » Sat Jan 05, 2013 9:33 pm

manas said: I wanted to point out that most men would not commit this abhorrent act, even if they thought there would be no consequence.
Well said, manas!

Having worked in Emergency Departments at hospitals over the years, and also for over 10 years with homeless women in an inner city area, I was frequently involved in counselling women who had been raped, treated like trash, disprespected by a small proportion of men. But I always found that the majority of males were just as distressed over what had happened as the female relatives and workers involved.


with metta
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---

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Mr Man
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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by Mr Man » Sat Jan 05, 2013 9:36 pm

Within Man there are undoubtedly strong passions. Wouldn't it be wise for all of us to remain cautious?

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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by Annapurna » Sat Jan 05, 2013 9:38 pm

Manas, thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I understand your feelings ...I can't imagine that any man in my family would rape, violence just doesn't occur. Women are beloved and respected in my family, I'd even say, *adored*, if it wasn't such a silly word, and the men are exemplary in being gentleman-like.

The mere idea they would rape is ridiculous, out of the question.

I am afraid this has made me very, very trusting and my trust was only disappointed very rarely.

Most men seem very protective of me and supportive.

But I sometimes heard terribles stories from school mates and friends.

I heard from several girls that their own fathers had raped them regularly from as early on as 14. . They told me themselves and cried.

It was a notion so alien to me I was speechless.

Several women I know got date-raped and worse.

We know what happens in wars...

Here is a study that might be sobering:

http://www.google.de/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=& ... 4169,d.bGE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by Annapurna » Sat Jan 05, 2013 9:49 pm

Mr Man wrote:Within Man there are undoubtedly strong passions. Wouldn't it be wise for all of us to remain cautious?
Yes, Mr.Man. I think this would be wise for all of us.

Caution is wise.

Neither paranoid, nor naive.

Just aware of what mankind is capable of, the complete range from very sweet to very evil.

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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by Modus.Ponens » Sat Jan 05, 2013 10:47 pm

Pax wrote:Not all men are rapists... but most rapists are male.

As a female I remain cautious and guarded around males unknown to me, especially younger ones in groups.
Most rapists are male, yes.

But please replace the word "males" by "blacks" in the sentence in italic and reflect on what it might mean to a black person to hear that. This goes for all women comenting here. Mawkish defending that not all men are rapists was met with intransigence. It's time to realise that men have the right not to be discriminated too.
"He turns his mind away from those phenomena and, having done so, inclines his mind to the property of deathlessness: 'This is peace, this is exquisite — the resolution of all fabrications; the relinquishment of all acquisitions; the ending of craving; dispassion; cessation; Unbinding.' " - Jhana Sutta

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Mr Man
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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by Mr Man » Sat Jan 05, 2013 11:17 pm

Modus.Ponens wrote:. Mawkish defending that not all men are rapists was met with intransigence.
But to keep things accurate no one has said "all men are rapists" so where is the intransigence?

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Modus.Ponens
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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by Modus.Ponens » Sat Jan 05, 2013 11:36 pm

Maybe oposition would be a better word for conveing the meaning I wanted to. I'm not an english native speaker, so these subtleties elude me sometimes.

The thing I was refering to was when Mawkish said "Just thought it was worth saying" and other members denied it was worth saying what he said.
"He turns his mind away from those phenomena and, having done so, inclines his mind to the property of deathlessness: 'This is peace, this is exquisite — the resolution of all fabrications; the relinquishment of all acquisitions; the ending of craving; dispassion; cessation; Unbinding.' " - Jhana Sutta

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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by manas » Sat Jan 05, 2013 11:37 pm

Mr Man wrote:Within Man there are undoubtedly strong passions. Wouldn't it be wise for all of us to remain cautious?
When you say 'Man' are you referring to just menfolk, or to Humanity as a whole?
“It would be better for the uninstructed run-of-the-mill person to hold to the body composed of the four great elements, rather than the mind, as the self. Why is that? Because this body composed of the four great elements is seen standing for a year, two years, three, four, five, ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, a hundred years or more. But what’s called ‘mind,’ ‘intellect,’ or ‘consciousness’ by day and by night arises as one thing and ceases as another." - SN 12:61 (excerpt)

SamKR
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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by SamKR » Sat Jan 05, 2013 11:38 pm

Mr Man wrote:Within Man there are undoubtedly strong passions. Wouldn't it be wise for all of us to remain cautious?
Yes. Men and Women all should remain cautious of others (especially Men). Why? Because my impression is that Men are more impulsive than women; I guess that has something to do with biology.
Cautious but with Metta, of course.
Last edited by SamKR on Sat Jan 05, 2013 11:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by daverupa » Sat Jan 05, 2013 11:45 pm

Mr Man wrote:
Modus.Ponens wrote:. Mawkish defending that not all men are rapists was met with intransigence.
But to keep things accurate no one has said "all men are rapists" so where is the intransigence?
All men are potential rapists, probably, is the idea of note.

It may be arguable, but it's selected for via operant conditioning to be the safest way to walk through a city. Sexual dimorphism suggests that forced sex probably has a long pedigree in human history.

The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker, is recommended reading.
  • "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting oneself one protects others? By the pursuit, development, and cultivation of the four establishments of mindfulness. It is in such a way that by protecting oneself one protects others.

    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.

- Sedaka Sutta [SN 47.19]

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Mr Man
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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by Mr Man » Sat Jan 05, 2013 11:59 pm

manas wrote:
Mr Man wrote:Within Man there are undoubtedly strong passions. Wouldn't it be wise for all of us to remain cautious?
When you say 'Man' are you referring to just menfolk, or to Humanity as a whole?
When I said "Man" I meant humanity but I don't think that is how it was originally used in the thread.

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Re: "She wanted to LIVE" R.I.P. "Braveheart"

Post by badscooter » Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:06 am

The thing I was refering to was when Mawkish said "Just thought it was worth saying" and other members denied it was worth saying what he said.
Folks... First of all it's factual data in the US ----> There are more men rapist than women by a landslide...period. Look it up if you don't believe me.. In my state of New Jersey the crime data shows over 90% of rapes were committed by males.


To suggest that one should be cautious of the 'nature of man' is plainly, simply, wrong.
No Mawkish1983 this is incorrect.. Read up on your english. "nature of man" is perfectly acceptable in the way it was used by annapurna.


may all be well
"whatever one frequently thinks and ponders upon will be the inclination of one's mind"

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