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GOD IS A BLACK WOMAN LESBIAN VEGETARIAN

Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 7:41 pm
by DNS
Recently I saw a bumper sticker that read:

GOD IS A BLACK WOMAN LESBIAN VEGETARIAN

Which has led me to write this joke:


A Muslim Imam walks by and says, “God is not a woman.”

A Southern Baptist minister walks by and says, “God is not Black.”

A Midwestern (U.S.) Baptist minister walks by and says, “God is not a vegetarian.”

A Catholic priest walks by and says, “God is not a lesbian.”

A Rastafarian walks by and says, “I’ll have what she’s smokin’.”

A Buddhist monk walks by and says, “Ah, I get it, we each create god in our own image.”

Finally, a rabbi walks by and says, “oy vaysmare, I think this car belongs to my daughter‘s best friend.”

Re: GOD IS A BLACK WOMAN LESBIAN VEGETARIAN

Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 8:41 pm
by pink_trike
Thich Nhat Hanh : "God is a lesbian..."
Excerpt from Dharma Talk given by Thich Nhat Hanh on July 20, 1998 in Plum Village, France.

Question : "Dear Thay, I feel very well and safe here in Plum Village, but there were times in my life when I experienced discrimination, so there is one question which really interests me. What does Buddhism say about homosexuality?"

Reply: "Discrimination is something that many of us know, and there were times when we wanted to cry out for justice. You might be tempted by violent means in order for injustice to be removed. There are very many of us who are seeking non-violent means in order to remove injustice and discrimination imposed on us. Sometimes those discriminating against us act in the name of God, of the truth. We may belong to the third world, or we may belong to a particular race, we may be people of color, we may be gay or lesbian, and we have been discriminated against for thousands of years. So how to work on it, how to liberate ourselves from the suffering of being a victim of discrimination and oppression? In Christianity it is said that God created everything, including man, and there is a distinction made between the creator and the creature. The creature is something created by God. When I look at a rose, a tulip, or a chrysanthemum, I know, I see, I think, that this flower is a creation of God. Because I have been practicing as a Buddhist, I know that between the creator and the created there must be some kind of link, otherwise creation would not be possible. So the chrysanthemum can say that God is a flower, and I agree, because there must be the element "flower" in God so that the flower could become a reality. So the flower has the right to say that God is a flower.

"The white person has the right to say that God is white, and the black person also has the right to say that God is black. In fact, if you go to Africa, you’ll see that the Virgin Mary is black. If you don’t make the statue of the Virgin Mary black, it does not inspire people. Because to us the black people, "black is beautiful," so a black person has the right to say that God is black, and in fact I also believe that God is black, but God is not only black, God is also white, God is also a flower. So when a lesbian thinks of her relationship with God, if she practices deeply, she can find out that God is also a lesbian. Otherwise how could you be there? God is a lesbian, that is what I think, and God is gay also. God is no less. God is a lesbian, but also a gay, a black a white, a chrysanthemum. It is because you don’t understand that, that you discriminate.

"When you discriminate against the black or the white, or the flower, or the lesbian, you discriminate against God, which is the basic goodness in you. You create suffering all around you, and you create suffering within yourself, and it is delusion, ignorance, that is the basis of your action, your attitude of discrimination. If the people who are victims of discrimination practice looking deeply, they will say that I share the same wonderful relationship with God, I have no complex. Those who discriminate against me, do so because of their ignorance. "God, please forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing." If you reach that kind of insight, you will no longer get angry at that person who discriminates against you, and you might have compassion toward him or her. You will say: "He does not know what he is doing. He is creating a lot of suffering around him and within him. I will try to help him." So your heart opens like a flower and suffering is no longer there, you have no complex at all, and you turn to be a bodhisattva in helping the people who have been discriminating against you. That is the way I see it, out of my practice of looking deeply, so one day I made the statement that God is a lesbian, and this is my insight."

Re: GOD IS A BLACK WOMAN LESBIAN VEGETARIAN

Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 8:57 pm
by DNS
Thich Nhat Hanh is great, very wise. :bow:

One of his leading assistant teachers was Caitriona Reed, a transexual. But apparently now she is not directly affiliated with Thich Nhat Hanh's groups.

http://www.manzanitavillage.org/PRESSIN ... iona-reed/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Re: GOD IS A BLACK WOMAN LESBIAN VEGETARIAN

Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 10:39 pm
by Ben
I always thought Christianity had similarities to Hinduism.
Hinduism is the borg. They assimilate everything and resistence is futile!
Get set for some very ugly head-wear!

Ben

Re: GOD IS A BLACK WOMAN LESBIAN VEGETARIAN

Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 10:52 pm
by Fede
[quote="TheDhamma"]Recently I saw a bumper sticker that read:

GOD IS A BLACK WOMAN LESBIAN VEGETARIAN

Damn.

You found me out.