Could you all spare a thought.....

If you wish to partake in casual "off-topic" discussion amongst spiritual friends, please do so in the Lounge at Dhamma Wheel Engaged.
User avatar
Ngawang Drolma.
Posts: 805
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 7:38 pm

Re: Could you all spare a thought.....

Post by Ngawang Drolma. »

Fede wrote:I am flying to Italy tomorrow (Wednesday 20th May) to visit my mother and father.
My mother is occasionally tearful and feels helpless.
My father is weakened and lethargic.

I am completely aware and resigned to the fact that this may be the last time I ever see him alive.
I am returning on Monday 25th (A bank holiday here in the UK).

I will touch base again then.
Whatever happens, happens.

:namaste:
Fede,

I've dedicated much merit to you and yours. I'm so sorry to hear of his recent decline in health, I've been following this thread.
I hope your trip goes as well as it possibly can.

Best wishes,
Laura

bukowski
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2009 12:52 pm
Location: U.K.

Re: Could you all spare a thought.....

Post by bukowski »

I will dedicate merit for you and your family fede.

Much metta, bukowski.

User avatar
Fede
Posts: 1182
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:33 pm
Location: The Heart of this "Green & Pleasant Land"...
Contact:

Update:

Post by Fede »

There's a (less than tasteful) joke about a fantastic hog on a farm, who is faithful, loyal, an excellent 'guard-pig' and who offers invaluable service all round, on the farm.
One day, a neighbour notices he has a hind leg missing. He asks the farmer:
"What happened? Was he attacked? Did he have an accident?"
"No," replies the farmer, "We essentially bred him for food.... so we took the leg for lunch, but he's such a great pig, it seems a shame to get rid of him all at once....."

So here's the father update:

He had a stent inserted into one of the severely clogged coronary arteries, to give the heart a bit of 'leg-room'.... The situation, heart-wise has improved no end. he has regained colour, and is becoming kantankerous, which is a good sign!

However:
His kidneys are functioning at around 15%.
His colon is still producing very runny stools (although the situation seems to be improving - the medication they are giving him appears to be taking some effect, although I suspect it could be Portland cement in tablet form!)
They were going to send him home today. An absolutely ridiculous premise, because having been bed-bound since april 30th, he has now lost use of his legs.
Furthermore, my mother does not have the suitable equipment at home (proper clinical bed, standing frame, wheelchair, etc) although this is available on prescription. But it would take a week or so to supply and deliver.
It took 3 able-bodied young nurses to lift him from, and back into, bed.
At 77 years of age, there is absolutely no way my mother could cope doing this on her own.

However, they have now realised that due to his being bed-bound for so long, his prostate has enlarged to such an extent, that he can no longer pass water at all, without a catheter. And my mother is medically unequipped and inexperienced to be able to deal with this factor in a domestic environment. So it's possible they will transfer him to urology.....

Hence the 'pig' joke.
Bit by bit, he's losing his working parts. But all in all, my dad's a good 'pig'......


Will keep you posted.
"Samsara: The human condition's heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment." Elizabeth Gilbert, 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Simplify: 17 into 1 WILL go: Mindfulness!

Quieta movere magna merces videbatur. (Sallust, c.86-c.35 BC)
Translation: Just to stir things up seemed a good reward in itself. ;)

I am sooooo happy - How on earth could I be otherwise?! :D


http://www.armchairadvice.co.uk/relationships/forum/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

User avatar
BubbaBuddhist
Posts: 640
Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:55 am
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee
Contact:

Re: Could you all spare a thought.....

Post by BubbaBuddhist »

May the road ahead be smooth and peaceful.

J
Author of Redneck Buddhism: or Will You Reincarnate as Your Own Cousin?

User avatar
christopher:::
Posts: 1326
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:56 am

Re: Could you all spare a thought.....

Post by christopher::: »

(((Fede))) That sounds very similar to what happened with my beloved grandfather. I'm keeping you all in my thoughts... and reading your story has now brought my grandfather into my mind as well. Life is precious, family is precious. But all of our individual lives have beginnings and ends...

:weep:
"As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009

User avatar
Fede
Posts: 1182
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:33 pm
Location: The Heart of this "Green & Pleasant Land"...
Contact:

Re: Could you all spare a thought.....

Post by Fede »

Thank you Christopher!

You see, there is no mustard seed available anywhere.... :smile:

Well, I just spoke to my parents, and you'll all be very glad to know that father has, for the first time since the end of April, stood up on his own.

Having been bed-bound for so long, his legs had simply refused to function, but with the exercises my mother has given him to do, and with her massage and therapy, it seems he's really come along .... well, if not in leaps and bounds, certainly a lot better than before.
She had considered putting him on a static exercise bike with a cable and dynamo, to save on electricity, but I think it may be a little while yet before he manages to go that well....
But things are definitely better.

They have a male nurse who visits daily, and apparently he and my father have struck up a good friendship.
It helps to have a good rapport.
he's quite strong, and takes the strain off my mum - in more ways than one.
Bless him....

I have taken to meditating upon dying and preparing myself for the inevitable, if for nothing more than being strong and supportive for my mother....
But he's obviously not ready to admit defeat yet!! Talk about live and kicking!! :lol:
"Samsara: The human condition's heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment." Elizabeth Gilbert, 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Simplify: 17 into 1 WILL go: Mindfulness!

Quieta movere magna merces videbatur. (Sallust, c.86-c.35 BC)
Translation: Just to stir things up seemed a good reward in itself. ;)

I am sooooo happy - How on earth could I be otherwise?! :D


http://www.armchairadvice.co.uk/relationships/forum/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

User avatar
Guy
Posts: 762
Joined: Fri May 22, 2009 4:05 am
Location: Perth, Western Australia

Re: Could you all spare a thought.....

Post by Guy »

Your father is very fortunate to have many caring people in his life. You and your mother are clearly a strong support for him in his time of need. May you and your family be peaceful and content no matter what.

With Metta,

Guy
Four types of letting go:

1) Giving; expecting nothing back in return
2) Throwing things away
3) Contentment; wanting to be here, not wanting to be anywhere else
4) "Teflon Mind"; having a mind which doesn't accumulate things

- Ajahn Brahm

Locked