Chris wrote:I think King Bimbisara bought one of his brides for a great amount. He was a favourite of the Buddha. So it would depend ...
Drolma wrote:Hi all, thanks for your feedback so far. I mean like a mail-order bride. In this situation I think the brides are willing because they're advertising and they presumably signed up for it. But I was thinking along the lines of what Rui Sousa wrote. My reason for asking is that someone I know recently bought a wife and I was kind of astounded and wondering if there are ethical implications.
Rui Sousa wrote:From the Vanijja Sutta An 5.177:Monks, a lay follower should not engage in five types of business. Which five? Business in weapons, business in human beings, business in meat, business in intoxicants, and business in poison.
retrofuturist wrote:Greetings Chris,
No, of course it's no real concern, so long as such a decision involves mutual consent. I've always found it odd though that, in either the situation of a mail-order bride, or an Indian dowry, that one side is expected to "pay", or expected to be "bought" signifying some degree of inequality within the relationship.
There appeared to be many marriages taking place without witness or ceremony in the 1500's. The Council of Trent was so disturbed by this, that they decreed in 1563 that marriages should be celebrated in the presence of a priest and at least two witnesses. Marriage took on a new role of saving men and women from being sinful, and of procreation. Love wasn't a necessary ingredient for marriage during this era.
Many brides (and grooms) today object to the "giving" of the bride, as, to some, it symbolizes unpleasant aspects of patriarchal tradition. Presuming your house of worship has no rules otherwise, you may omit this part of the ceremony (called "The Presentation"), if you wish. A bride should consider that this portion of the ceremony is historically the big moment for the Father of the Bride, and denying your father this opportunity might be a disappointment to him. Many couples today are addressing their discomfort with the practice by improving upon it: when the officiant asks, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" the bride's father can respond, "She gives herself, with her parents' blessing."
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