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Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:10 pm
by Annapurna
Hello,

How about having more female mods here?

Right now, women are underrepresented...

And how about getting a protected area for women here, like in E Sangha, however small, an area where female members cnas share some women issues in an atmosphere that we decide, perhaps we self-moderate sisterly, an area where men and male mods are heartily invited guests, to read and participate, but not welcome to domineer any discussions, as it is can happen now?

Sensitive topics would certainly benefit.

I would also like to thank all of you men here, who posted in the Tribute thread for the Indian girl with such great compassion, sensitivity and consideration, you are all wonderful and what you said was heart warming, -I thank you very, very much.

I am sure all misunderstandings can be resolved eventually, so let me just say, here:

Thank you, all.

Annelie

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:15 pm
by Annapurna
And OF COURSE thanks to all of you ladies here as well, that goes without saying. :hug:

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:31 pm
by Cittasanto
Annapurna wrote:How about having more female mods here?
can men?
Right now, women are underrepresented...
And how many women participate on the forum?
And how about getting a protected area for women here, like in E Sangha, however small, an area where female members cnas share some women issues in an atmosphere that we decide, perhaps we self-moderate sisterly, an area where men and male mods are heartily invited guests, to read and participate, but not welcome to domineer any discussions, as it is can happen now?
do women really need some special favour and protection here?
males are the vast member base on the forum (to my knowledge) so there is no domineering just participation by members as far as I am aware.
Sensitive topics would certainly benefit.
How?
I am sure all misunderstandings can be resolved eventually, so let me just say, here:
what misunderstanding are only down to the persons sex.

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:36 pm
by Annapurna
I need a break from this forum, I am utterly disappointed of the replies.

Good bye, Dhammawheel.

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:46 pm
by Mawkish1983
Annapurna, I don't understand. I was politely asked to stop the conversation on the other thread, which I did out of respect for the girl for whom the thread was started, yet others, including yourself, carried it on.

I have read and reread your posts to me and it's clear you have no respect for me at all. I saw the passive aggressive digs. Clearly me being male is part of the reason you find me so unpleasant. What precisely is it you want from me (or us as a gender)?

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:51 pm
by Aloka
Annapurna wrote:

How about having more female mods here?

Right now, women are underrepresented...

And how about getting a protected area for women here, like in E Sangha, however small, an area where female members cnas share some women issues in an atmosphere that we decide, perhaps we self-moderate sisterly, an area where men and male mods are heartily invited guests, to read and participate, but not welcome to domineer any discussions, as it is can happen now?

Sensitive topics would certainly benefit.

As a woman myself I'm wondering why women would need a "protected area" ? If women have to have a special area why not have similar areas for lesbian, gay and transgendered members as well ----and also for teenagers and....perhaps for vegetarians?

I think women can be just as domineering in discussions as men if they want to be - and personally its no problem for me to interact with others on a forum whatever their sexuality happens to be.

Just a personal opinion though.

with metta

Aloka :)

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:52 pm
by Cittasanto
Annapurna wrote:I need a break from this forum, I am utterly disappointed of the replies.

Good bye, Dhammawheel.
Why is being questioned disappointing?

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 4:52 pm
by robertk
It might be a good idea to have a women's section.
The admin will no doubt discuss this in the near future.
For now I will lock this topic until word comes down from higher up.

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 1:58 am
by Ben
Annapurna wrote:How about having more female mods here?
Moderators are not selected because of their gender.
Right now, women are underrepresented...
No, that is not right.
And how about getting a protected area for women here, like in E Sangha, however small, an area where female members cnas share some women issues in an atmosphere that we decide, perhaps we self-moderate sisterly, an area where men and male mods are heartily invited guests, to read and participate, but not welcome to domineer any discussions, as it is can happen now?
the woman's forum on e-sangha was an unmitigated disaster. I have received communication from a number of members regarding your suggestion and have not been in favour of a women's forum - and they were from female members. Their views coincide with my own that women do not need to be segregated from men on Dhamma Wheel.
Sensitive topics would certainly benefit.
Sensitive topics would benefit from members not engaging in personal attacks, by respecting others and by abiding by the terms of service. If one is so heavily emotionally involved in a topic, then its best not to participate in that discussion.

Thank you for your suggestion Annapurna, but unless there is a groundswell of support from the membership and consensus among the mods and admins, its unlikely to materialize.

Ben

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 2:27 am
by Pax
This place is small enough that I don't completely see the need for a separate women only forum. That said, I do understand Annapurnas request. Women do see things from a different perspective and we are often on the outside of many conversations.

The thread about the young Indian woman who died so horrifically, instead of being a springboard for a broader understanding of the fears we, as women, live with... it became a place where some males felt the need to press their point, that of being discriminated against. In a world run by men, where their needs, desires, wants, perspectives, and privilege is the baseline of human existence; this seems at the least, insensitive.

I don't expect my thoughts to change a single heart, if someone has chosen to take offense they will most likely remain encamped there. But remember this, most of you will never walk in fear, never wonder if the rowdy group of young men will hurt you, never wonder why your uncle/family friend/brother/cousin thinks it's okay to force you into sex against your will. You won't experience this. I have.

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 2:41 am
by SDC
We shouldn't make any changes that perpetuate our differences.

Our differences don't mean anything, and shouldn't mean anything.

Let's all agree on this - certain topics are touchy. No matter how clever you think you're being, no matter how righteous your intention, it is likely your words may not be accepted by all involved. Be ready for the consequences or, dare I say, DON'T POST.

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 4:08 am
by retrofuturist
:goodpost:

There's certain topics I won't touch with a bargepole. You know the kind I mean - the ones that no matter what you say, someone is going to project their dissatisfaction with the world onto you.

One bitten, twice shy.

Metta,
Retro. :)

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 4:39 am
by SamKR
Ben wrote:
Annapurna wrote:And how about getting a protected area for women here, like in E Sangha, however small, an area where female members cnas share some women issues in an atmosphere that we decide, perhaps we self-moderate sisterly, an area where men and male mods are heartily invited guests, to read and participate, but not welcome to domineer any discussions, as it is can happen now?
the woman's forum on e-sangha was an unmitigated disaster. I have received communication from a number of members regarding your suggestion and have not been in favour of a women's forum - and they were from female members. Their views coincide with my own that women do not need to be segregated from men on Dhamma Wheel.
If not a separate protected area for women (which could include non-Buddhist topics), I am strongly in favor of a forum "Women in Buddhism" (or something like that) which covers only the topics about women in Buddhism.
:anjali:

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 5:55 am
by pilgrim
How about one for Asian Buddhists? and one for Youths? Unless it serves a clearly identifiable purpose, I don't see good reason to divide and subdivide ourselves. When posting here, I don't even notice the gender behind the monikers used.

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 7:25 am
by plwk
Image

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 7:31 am
by Kim OHara
pilgrim wrote:How about one for Asian Buddhists? and one for Youths? Unless it serves a clearly identifiable purpose, I don't see good reason to divide and subdivide ourselves.
I agree.
I will go a step further: if something can't be said to everyone, it is possibly (probably?) not Right Speech.
pilgrim wrote:When posting here, I don't even notice the gender behind the monikers used.

Notice? A lot of the time you can't even know unless the member has mentioned it.
Just quickly - no checking or anything - can you tell me the gender of skydancer, catmoon, Ayu, songhill, Astus, Chris, seekeroftruth, termite, jrh001, pink_trike, fig tree? They are all good DW usernames. :thinking:
My own username is gender-ambiguous and some of you may remember that I posted regularly to e-Sangha for a year before anyone knew my gender. I suggest that means it can't be terribly important.

Finally, even when the member gives the information, you (sadly) can't be sure they are telling the truth - and a rule or policy that can't be monitored or policed is a waste of time and energy, IMHO.

:namaste:
Kim

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 7:57 am
by Mr Man
My hope would be that women didn't feel a need for a "women's section" but if they do so be it.

As a separate idea how about a "memorial section" with guidlines?

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:00 am
by Dan74
retrofuturist wrote::goodpost:

There's certain topics I won't touch with a bargepole. You know the kind I mean - the ones that no matter what you say, someone is going to project their dissatisfaction with the world onto you.

One bitten, twice shy.

Metta,
Retro. :)
:goodpost:

That said, there are a lot of things wrong with the world and the way women are treated is a tragedy for all, I think. Sadly topics related to this quickly degenerate into gender wars and ad homs and many of us stay away from them not because we do not support movements for equality and to protect women from violence but because we don't want to get caught in the cross-fire (or cross-hairs for that matter).

I hope DW continues to foster a space where women feel both safe and respected and if any of us (male or female) sometimes say things that are insensitive or can be taken that way, I hope we can point that out respectfully to each other and deal with it like sisters and brothers in the Dhamma, avoiding the rancour and ill-will and recalling metta and compassion for all suffering.

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:03 am
by Mr Man
Dan74 wrote:
retrofuturist wrote::goodpost:

There's certain topics I won't touch with a bargepole. You know the kind I mean - the ones that no matter what you say, someone is going to project their dissatisfaction with the world onto you.

One bitten, twice shy.

Metta,
Retro. :)
:goodpost:

That said, there are a lot of things wrong with the world and the way women are treated is a tragedy for all, I think. Sadly topics related to this quickly degenerate into gender wars and ad homs and many of us stay away from them not because we do not support movements for equality and to protect women from violence but because we don't want to get caught in the cross-fire (or cross-hairs for that matter).

I hope DW continues to foster a space where women feel both safe and respected and if any of us (male or female) sometimes say things that are insensitive or can be taken that way, I hope we can point that out respectfully to each other and deal with it like sisters and brothers in the Dhamma, avoiding the rancour and ill-will and recalling metta and compassion for all suffering.
I agree :anjali:

Re: Too many male mods here and no woman section

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:34 am
by Ben
Mr Man wrote:My hope would be that women didn't feel a need for a "women's section" but if they do so be it.
Mr Man, only one person since our inception has ever requested a women's only section.
Mr Man wrote:As a separate idea how about a "memorial section" with guidlines?
The shrine room can perform that function.
thanks for your suggestion.

Ben