Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Introduce yourself to others at Dhamma Wheel.
User avatar
lavantien
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue May 21, 2019 5:09 am
Contact:

Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by lavantien » Tue May 21, 2019 7:20 am

Hi everyone,

This is not a self-claim or boasting about attainments, but only for the sake of inspiration.

1. Personal Information:
I'm Tien, currently 23 years old, live in Vietnam :sage: , studying Computer Engineering (no interest at all). I was a single child in a below-average (in term of wealth) family.

2. My history with Buddhism:
a. My pre-Theravada era:
In my childhood, my parents and my grandmother often get me to local Mahayana temples to do chanting and stuffs. I love the Buddha so much that what ever someone told me it was the Buddha words - I believe & practice it 100% and no questions. I do various chanting everyday as my family promoted, like Avalokite mantra, Amitabha mantra, ... My relatives warn me not to read the sutras because I might go crazy, just do what I've been told is good enough.

As time goes by, I have a need to research the Buddha teachings deeper, so I sneakily read many sutras (my grandmother has a lot of printed sutras). Soon enough, as I began to read the sutras I find many contradictions to the spirit of the Buddha teachings as well as contradictions between themselves. Like one sutra said that it is the king of all sutra, while other sutra said the same :reading: . Furthermore, there is some wildly claims in Lotus sutra about Avalokite - the savior listen to prayers, or about the benefit of printing the sutra and the sufferings you will face if talk against the sutra :jawdrop: ...

I was horrified and full of doubts about this way of Buddhism, why on earth the Buddha would taught like that, totally against his spirit of his teachings 'come and see for yourself', but my love and faith for the Buddha was never change. Luckily at this time I was given a computer with internet connection so I began to research deeper about the history of Buddhism. No surprise, these are later products, not from the Buddha himself.

b. My Theravada era:

The suttas in Pali Canon represent a complete body of consistency, it's like the Buddha is teaching directly to you, I have a great time learn about the man I love - the Buddha and his great disciples, so natural, so inspiring. I've found the biggest treasure in the whole existence :woohoo: . Full of joy, I begin to read into the suttas, research and watch various Youtube videos about Theravada.

As I have a deep interest in cosmology and stuffs, I eventually addicted to learn Abhidhamma, it was so amazing and explain various stuff in details.

c. My Early Buddhist Texts era:

Later as my knowledge about Buddhism grow and matured, I come to know that Abhidhamma is a later interpretation, it has its value as categorization though, but it introduces many concepts which doesn't appear in the suttas and have some contradictions here and there.

I come across this website (suttacentral.net), a great source of EBTs. So I focus more on the suttas, specifically DN, MN, SN, AN, and KN (6 first books). Looks like I have found my comfortable zone, this body of texts is extremely consistent and are a great reference to the actual teachings of the Buddha. I also know that the Sutta Pitaka, the Agama and some Sanskrit fragments have very same teachings, it's very amazing.

I also found that not all points in Theravada is consistent with the EBTs, like instant rebirth, last thought moment, ... So I give up on that. Now after years of research I can say that I have found the Dhamma - a refuge for myself. Any doubt disappears. Now is the time to actually put it into practice. As an inevitable consequence of realize the Path, I find it unable to practice this Path fully if I continue to live at home. I always want to going forth into the homelessness like the venerables in the suttas did. I nourish a dream of becoming a true Bhikkhu. Seeing many monasteries taking money and focus more on rituals than practice, I realize that monasteries nowaday is not fit for me. So I make various plans to escape, where to sleep? under a tree or a cave, it hard to find jungle and mountain nearby, in graveyard? What to do if I were mistaken for wander drug abuser and captured by the polices? where to urinate and defecate? What if on alms round I get nothing? ... Then I will exert the last bit of energy to live the spiritual life full and pure. My life will not going to waste.

Two weeks ago, I asked my parent for going forth, and my mother said if I going to leave home and live a homeless life she and my dad will retire from work and whole family will be dying out of starvation. Realize that I've been locked down and cannot do anything else to lead a spiritual life full and pure, I have to continue the lay life with a lot of burdens and pointless pursues. I often cry when I remember about the Buddha :cry: he's no longer there, I have to do this all by myself.

3. About my practice:
a. My current way of practice:
100% from the suttas, no need external sources. The skeleton of my daily practice is formed by 2 suttas MN51 and MN107, which the Buddha described in details the gradual training of a trainee:
Noble spectrum of ethics (8 precepts 24/7), I have no need of damaging plants and seeds either, I'm trying to avoid as much possessions as I can.
Noble senses restraint, perception of skeleton is very helpful there, it helps me to not focus on features and details of girls.
Eat in moderation, strictly 1 meal a day before noon.
Dedicate to wakefulness
Noble mindfulness & situational awareness, If not sitting meditation then I will do walking meditation, walk to the college, on the bus or waiting room, I always to keep my mindfulness up in any postures and keep constant awareness of the surroundings, meditation, meditation ... :rofl: then at night I try to sleep in lion-posture, it's very hard and painful but I get used to it now :twothumbsup: I have absolute faith in the Buddha and his words, if he said I should do something, then I will do it without questions, I think if you have absolute faith in The Buddha and The Dhamma, then it will save you a lot of energy wasting into speculations :lol:
Frequent seclude lodgings
After the meal, sit down, establish mindfulness
Abandon 5 hindrances
Get to the Jhanas (haven't get to the first Jhana yet :roll: )
Recollect past existences (not yet)
Seeing beings rebirth according to their kamma (not yet)
Attain the knowledge of the ending of defilements (not yet)
Still have a lot of work to do :stirthepot:

All of the vibhanga suttas are great source for develop insights

I remembered by heart many others suttas for supporting my practice instantly when I need, like MN19 & MN20 (to master the thoughts), MN21 (to deal with people), AN7.61 (to prevent sleepiness), AN5.57 & MN82 (for frequent contemplations), AN6.2x (death is very near, each breath, each breath), MN75 & MN54 & MN13 & SN12.52 (drawbacks of sensual pleasures), mn109, mn43, mn44, mn112 (Dhamma Q&A for dealing with "Buddhists" :tongue: ) ...

I haven't finished learning SN, AN and KN yet, will definitely complete all the Sutta Pitaka, I'm so exciting now :jumping:

b. My results of practice up to now:
Its been 2 weeks since I implement the above method, I wholeheartedly practice and strictly observe 8 precepts.

Even from my childhood, I can't recall any thought of killing or harming, even with an ant, let alone while practice in this great Path.

I can't recall any stress or insecurity or anxiety that have arise since I started to practice intensively. If a thought of greed arise, I invoke the perception of drawbacks to deal with it; if a thought of lust arise, I invoke the perception of skeleton or rotting corpse :mrgreen: ; if a thought of hatred or annoyance arise, I invoke the perception of limitless love and limitless compassion, ... ; if a pleasant feeling arise, I will try to see it's impermanence, that it's arise out of contact, if the contact to be experienced as pleasant cease then this pleasant feeling will cease and stop, seeing this way, I incline the mind toward disillusion, toward detachment, having no reason to let the tendency of greed run its course, it cools down right there.

Lust or sexual desire occasionally come up but it's much less often nowaday, and with strong sense restraint and various perceptions which I'm developing, I don't think lust is a problem anymore. I don't see any reason I should even look or talk to a girl nowaday, let alone fell in love :rofl:

I have no problem to letting go of anything, I don't have strong desire to grasp at anything either, my life now feel very lightweight and peaceful, despite all the messes (family things, school things, work things, social things) happen around me. I don't see any point to continue my university nor endure the work place, but I have to do anyway because of my compassion and duties for my parents.

Fear of death or a bad rebirth is absolutely gone. It seems like I have some past lives' works that need to be done in this live :redherring: . The Path has been settled with absolute confidence, with all its techniques and tools needed for development. I will either finish the job in this very life, or if anything remain, non-return, or if I accidentally die tomorrow then I can't recall anything that can lead me to the lower realms, thank the Buddha and his Dhamma, I feel completely safe now :thanks: :bow:
Then the Teacher, being sympathetic, and having compassion for the whole world,
said to me, “Come, monk!” That was my ordination.
Staying alone in the wilderness, meditating tirelessly,
I have completed what the Teacher taught, just as the victor advised me.

In the first watch of the night, I recollected my past lives.
In the middle watch of the night, I purified my clairvoyance.
In the last watch of the night, I shattered the mass of darkness.

User avatar
budo
Posts: 1517
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:16 am
Location: The world

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by budo » Tue May 21, 2019 7:42 am

Two weeks ago, I asked my parent for going forth, and my mother said if I going to leave home and live a homeless life she and my dad will retire from work and whole family will be dying out of starvation.
Doesn't make sense to me. If anything they have one less mouth to feed so they can save more money. In my life, I've lived in five countries, and in each of these countries it was normal for kids to move out around college time or army time. I personally moved out at 20 years old and never lived with my parents again since.

I don't know what your situation is like in Vietnam, but surely people do become independent at some point no? Or does everyone live with their family members until they pass away?

Still, would the entire family REALLY starve if you moved out? Sounds exaggerated.

Aside from that, nice post!

User avatar
lavantien
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue May 21, 2019 5:09 am
Contact:

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by lavantien » Tue May 21, 2019 7:51 am

budo wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 7:42 am
Two weeks ago, I asked my parent for going forth, and my mother said if I going to leave home and live a homeless life she and my dad will retire from work and whole family will be dying out of starvation.
Doesn't make sense to me. If anything they have one less mouth to feed so they can save more money. In my life, I've lived in five countries, and in each of these countries it was normal for kids to move out around college time or army time. I personally moved out at 20 years old and never lived with my parents again since.

I don't know what your situation is like in Vietnam, but surely people do become independent at some point no? Or does everyone live with their family members until they pass away?

Still, would the entire family REALLY starve if you moved out? Sounds exaggerated.

Aside from that, nice post!
I think she means deliberate starving, like if I go she will no longer have interest in living and no point to continue go to work. My parents have very strong reaction to my progress though, they often call me crazy, brainwashed, ... when they see me read the suttas, meditation all days and eat only one meal.

After the incident, they no longer have resistance for me to practice, they said if I want to practice just live here with them. But I think if I were to stay at home then I have my duties to get to school and later to find a jobs to support the whole family.
Then the Teacher, being sympathetic, and having compassion for the whole world,
said to me, “Come, monk!” That was my ordination.
Staying alone in the wilderness, meditating tirelessly,
I have completed what the Teacher taught, just as the victor advised me.

In the first watch of the night, I recollected my past lives.
In the middle watch of the night, I purified my clairvoyance.
In the last watch of the night, I shattered the mass of darkness.

User avatar
bodom
Posts: 6394
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 6:18 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by bodom » Tue May 21, 2019 8:03 am

Welcome!

:anjali:
The heart of the path is SO simple. No need for long explanations. Give up clinging to love and hate, just rest with things as they are. That is all I do in my own practice.

Do not try to become anything. Do not make yourself into anything. Do not be a meditator. Do not become enlightened. When you sit, let it be. When you walk, let it be. Grasp at nothing. Resist nothing.

Of course, there are dozens of meditation techniques to develop samadhi and many kinds of vipassana. But it all comes back to this-just let it all be. Step over here where it is cool, out of the battle.

- Ajahn Chah

User avatar
budo
Posts: 1517
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:16 am
Location: The world

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by budo » Tue May 21, 2019 8:06 am

lavantien wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 7:51 am
budo wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 7:42 am
Two weeks ago, I asked my parent for going forth, and my mother said if I going to leave home and live a homeless life she and my dad will retire from work and whole family will be dying out of starvation.
Doesn't make sense to me. If anything they have one less mouth to feed so they can save more money. In my life, I've lived in five countries, and in each of these countries it was normal for kids to move out around college time or army time. I personally moved out at 20 years old and never lived with my parents again since.

I don't know what your situation is like in Vietnam, but surely people do become independent at some point no? Or does everyone live with their family members until they pass away?

Still, would the entire family REALLY starve if you moved out? Sounds exaggerated.

Aside from that, nice post!
I think she means deliberate starving, like if I go she will no longer have interest in living and no point to continue go to work. My parents have very strong reaction to my progress though, they often call me crazy, brainwashed, ... when they see me read the suttas, meditation all days and eat only one meal.

After the incident, they no longer have resistance for me to practice, they said if I want to practice just live here with them. But I think if I were to stay at home then I have my duties to get to school and later to find a jobs to support the whole family.
Doesn't sound healthy. Eventually all kids must leave their parents to start a family of their own, does she expect you to never grow up? At the end of the day, her attachments are her own issue. I bet she would be fine with you leaving to start your own family because she gets to be involved in that, but you becoming a monk she doesn't get to be involved.

I do remember reading a story of a son who stopped eating and lay on the floor in the middle of the house until his parents allowed him to become a monk. Not saying you should do that.

Best of luck with your situation.

User avatar
lavantien
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue May 21, 2019 5:09 am
Contact:

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by lavantien » Tue May 21, 2019 8:19 am

Hi bodom :anjali:
budo wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 8:06 am
lavantien wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 7:51 am
budo wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 7:42 am


Doesn't make sense to me. If anything they have one less mouth to feed so they can save more money. In my life, I've lived in five countries, and in each of these countries it was normal for kids to move out around college time or army time. I personally moved out at 20 years old and never lived with my parents again since.

I don't know what your situation is like in Vietnam, but surely people do become independent at some point no? Or does everyone live with their family members until they pass away?

Still, would the entire family REALLY starve if you moved out? Sounds exaggerated.

Aside from that, nice post!
I think she means deliberate starving, like if I go she will no longer have interest in living and no point to continue go to work. My parents have very strong reaction to my progress though, they often call me crazy, brainwashed, ... when they see me read the suttas, meditation all days and eat only one meal.

After the incident, they no longer have resistance for me to practice, they said if I want to practice just live here with them. But I think if I were to stay at home then I have my duties to get to school and later to find a jobs to support the whole family.
Doesn't sound healthy. Eventually all kids must leave their parents to start a family of their own, does she expect you to never grow up? At the end of the day, her attachments are her own issue. I bet she would be fine with you leaving to start your own family because she gets to be involved in that, but you becoming a monk she doesn't get to be involved.

I do remember reading a story of a son who stopped eating and lay on the floor in the middle of the house until his parents allowed him to become a monk. Not saying you should do that.

Best of luck with your situation.
He is Ratthapala (MN82), I attempted to try his method but she takes the Starvation game (as I mentioned) even before I try to put pressure on her. My parents seem to very attach to me now, so I have to practice with the current conditions that I have unfortunately.

In most traditional Vietnamese family, if the son married then both usually go to live at the groom's parents house. I can move out if I want but they can't accept for me to become a monk, having no money nor interested in finding a wife - the moving out is out of chance for me. The real moving out will be I move out to a cave :rofl:
Then the Teacher, being sympathetic, and having compassion for the whole world,
said to me, “Come, monk!” That was my ordination.
Staying alone in the wilderness, meditating tirelessly,
I have completed what the Teacher taught, just as the victor advised me.

In the first watch of the night, I recollected my past lives.
In the middle watch of the night, I purified my clairvoyance.
In the last watch of the night, I shattered the mass of darkness.

SarathW
Posts: 11508
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:49 am

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by SarathW » Tue May 21, 2019 8:52 am

Hi Tien
I can relate to your story and I can believe it perhaps we are from asian back ground.
I like your story writing as well.
Keep us update on your progress.
:anjali:
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”

User avatar
lavantien
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue May 21, 2019 5:09 am
Contact:

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by lavantien » Tue May 21, 2019 9:03 am

SarathW wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 8:52 am
Hi Tien
I can relate to your story and I can believe it perhaps we are from asian back ground.
I like your story writing as well.
Keep us update on your progress.
:anjali:
Hi SarathW,

I will sure update when I think I totally uprooted greed and hatred. Til that time, can be many many dozen years later, I hope this forum will still exist for me to write update :jumping:
Then the Teacher, being sympathetic, and having compassion for the whole world,
said to me, “Come, monk!” That was my ordination.
Staying alone in the wilderness, meditating tirelessly,
I have completed what the Teacher taught, just as the victor advised me.

In the first watch of the night, I recollected my past lives.
In the middle watch of the night, I purified my clairvoyance.
In the last watch of the night, I shattered the mass of darkness.

SarathW
Posts: 11508
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:49 am

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by SarathW » Tue May 21, 2019 9:20 am

Do not worry about the future of Dhamma Wheel. We have lot of fath in David about his ability. :D
Perhaps you can report when you experience first Jhana.
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”

User avatar
retrofuturist
Site Admin
Posts: 21124
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:52 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by retrofuturist » Tue May 21, 2019 9:38 am

Greetings,

Welcome to Dhamma Wheel!

:buddha1:

Metta,
Paul. :)
"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"It is natural that one who knows and sees things as they really are is disenchanted and dispassionate." (AN 10.2)

“Truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.” (Flannery O'Connor)

befriend
Posts: 1371
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:39 am

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by befriend » Tue May 21, 2019 11:59 am

Sadhu your determination is inspiring.
Take care of mindfulness and mindfulness will take care of you.

User avatar
Ceisiwr
Posts: 5281
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 2:36 am

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by Ceisiwr » Tue May 21, 2019 12:02 pm

Welcome. Enjoyed your post. Metta friend.


User avatar
DooDoot
Posts: 5029
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:06 pm

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by DooDoot » Tue May 21, 2019 12:36 pm

Welcome Tien. I also enjoyed your post. Metta also, friend. :bow:
There is always an official executioner. If you try to take his place, It is like trying to be a master carpenter and cutting wood. If you try to cut wood like a master carpenter, you will only hurt your hand.

https://soundcloud.com/doodoot/paticcasamuppada
https://soundcloud.com/doodoot/anapanasati

User avatar
Sabbe_Dhamma_Anatta
Posts: 470
Joined: Sun Jan 20, 2019 5:06 pm

Re: Hi everyone, I want to share my personal experience about Dhamma

Post by Sabbe_Dhamma_Anatta » Tue May 21, 2019 1:02 pm

lavantien wrote:
Tue May 21, 2019 7:20 am
...
I have absolute faith in the Buddha and his words, if he said I should do something, then I will do it without questions, I think if you have absolute faith in The Buddha and The Dhamma, then it will save you a lot of energy wasting into speculations
...
:goodpost:
:bow:
🅢🅐🅑🅑🅔 🅓🅗🅐🅜🅜🅐 🅐🅝🅐🅣🅣🅐
  • "the one thing all the mistaken views have in common is the assump­tion that the self exists" ~ DN1
  • "It is an entirely and perfectly foolish idea" ~ MN22
  • The No-self doctrine is found only in the teaching of the Buddha.
  • No-self (anatta) means that there is no permanent, unchanging entity in anything animate or inanimate. ~ SN22.59

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 19 guests