Hi all, my name is Doug. I'm 31 years old. My biggest fear is to be my true self in the presence of everyone. I usually only open up around people I'm comfortable with, so this makes for a stressful life.
I have been called "Buddhist"(before I became Buddhist) as a joke/insult due to my quiet nature and fear of being myself. I have just recently started the path to enlightenment. I am often afraid of saying/doing the wrong thing, and/or overlooking the right thing. I have been going to a Monastery in Richmond for a few days now, and today I went to one in Fairfield just to look around and was invited to stay for lunch. I never heard monks chanting until today, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but it was profound.
After lunch, I was looking at the shrine and felt a dark fear wash over me. I felt shame. But I had an inkling that this fear was some sort of obstacle. Maybe it was meant to show me that the path to enlightenment isn't always easy or understood. What is your take on this? I want to get outside opinions to learn others' points of view.
I've been occupying my time by studying Buddhism over the past week. I've called myself Buddhist for a year or so, but now I am committed. I had a deeply personal experience on my first visit to the temple in Richmond, which felt like pure contentment. I know that this is now my path. I've been listening to "Om Mani Padme Hum" chants most of the time I'm in my room. Even when I sleep. I have 115 days off of drugs and alcohol, and I have found eternal happiness that is more satisfying than any chemical I have consumed.
I am finding it somewhat difficult to find a school to adhere to, so I am open to all paths, going with what resonates with me. Am I wrong in doing this?
Namaste
New to Buddhism
Re: New to Buddhism
Welcome Doug! I hope you find all that you need here on the forum.
Liberation is the inevitable fruit of the path and is bound to blossom forth when there is steady and persistent practice. The only requirements for reaching the final goal are two: to start and to continue. If these requirements are met there is no doubt the goal will be attained. This is the Dhamma, the undeviating law.
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Re: New to Buddhism
Welcome to DW!
Glad to hear your recovery is going well.
Glad to hear your recovery is going well.
Re: New to Buddhism
Welcome Doug!
I'm glad to hear things are going better for you. Feelings of anxiety around new situations such as a monastery are quite common, so don't let it put you off! Just take things as they come, and look after your peace of mind.
I'm glad to hear things are going better for you. Feelings of anxiety around new situations such as a monastery are quite common, so don't let it put you off! Just take things as they come, and look after your peace of mind.
Re: New to Buddhism
Thank you Bodom, Thank you DNS, thank you Sam Vara, thank you Disciple
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Re: New to Buddhism
Greetings Doug,
Welcome to Dhamma Wheel.
Metta,
Paul.
Welcome to Dhamma Wheel.
Metta,
Paul.
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
Re: New to Buddhism
Hey Doug, welcome. Sounds like you're in the Bay Area. I highly recommend going up to Abhayagiri Monastery up north, especially if you can stay for a few days or longer. The abbot there is very kind, wise and experienced in answering all kinds of questions from folks, Buddhist, non-Buddhist or anything in between. If you go, see if you can be up there when he is present as he travels quite a bit.
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Re: New to Buddhism
Thank you Retrofuturist and Mkoll. Mkoll thank you for the information. I just read up on the monastery and submitted a request. I hope I can get in this year. It would be such an honor to learn in depth for a few days about Buddhist traditions.
Re: New to Buddhism
Glad to hear it, I'm sure they'll be able to accommodate you.
There's also Aloka Vihara monastery. I haven't been myself, but I've seen their abbess give a talk and she's inspiring.
If you're near Berkeley, some of the Abhayagiri monks come down on the first Tuesday of every month and some of the Aloka Vihara nuns come down on the 3rd Sunday to Berkeley Buddhist Monastery (at least when they're not on the winter retreat which is from January-March).
There's also Aloka Vihara monastery. I haven't been myself, but I've seen their abbess give a talk and she's inspiring.
If you're near Berkeley, some of the Abhayagiri monks come down on the first Tuesday of every month and some of the Aloka Vihara nuns come down on the 3rd Sunday to Berkeley Buddhist Monastery (at least when they're not on the winter retreat which is from January-March).
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
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Re: New to Buddhism
Sounds like you’re on the right path. I tried and fell off the path, but this is enlightening because I have relied on alcohol and drugs and worldly things to help me and I was just harming myself. My point is I hope things work out for you.