re intro

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re intro

Post by AvaLily » Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:01 pm

my name was Ella i know call myself MAXUK the reason i have changed my name as i am Transgender / Gender queer For the last few years av had mental health problems like voices seeing things and OCD and depression i also have PTSD because of trauma in my past
i am a newish Buddhist even thought i have been here for a number of years i have gone from Buddhism -Christianity-Islam- Christianity-Hinduism- back to Buddhism during this time i lost my step dad to suicide my mum got cancer and lived through it but she has became bitter and i hardly see her in happier news i have became a great aunt/Uncle have had therapy i did see a therapist but because of NHS funding i am only allowed 6 blocks of treatment
i tried to follow meditation and understand Buddhism but am not very well educated i find things hard to understand i feel like am too stupid ( i also have poor self esteem too)to join in on discussions in these types of forums i hope its ok for me to re join

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Re: re intro

Post by bodom » Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:04 pm

Welcome back! I hope you find what you are looking for here.

To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo

With no struggling, no thinking,
the mind, still,
will see cause and effect
vanishing in the Void.
Attached to nothing, letting go:
Know that this is the way
to allay all stress.

- Upasika Kee Nanayan

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Re: re intro

Post by JohnK » Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:10 pm

(Sorry to hear of so many difficulties -- I think it would great if you could find an experienced live-and-in-person, Buddhist meditation teacher to help guide you -- unless of course you already have one.)

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Re: re intro

Post by SarathW » Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:29 pm

“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”

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Re: re intro

Post by Ben » Thu Mar 03, 2016 9:57 pm

Hi Maxuk,
You are definitely not stupid.
Thank you for your re-introduction.
May the Dhamma be your anchor.
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR


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Re: re intro

Post by Jim1 » Fri Mar 04, 2016 4:37 am

Hello MAXUK, welcome back! I definitely agree with others here that based on your post you're clearly not stupid. Daily Buddhist meditation helps me a ton in my own life and I know it would help you as well, just need to find a good teacher.

With metta,
"He who walks in the eightfold noble path with unswerving determination is sure to reach Nirvana." Buddha

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Re: re intro

Post by dagon » Fri Mar 04, 2016 6:28 am

Hi MAXUK - welcome back

You might get something out of this" onclick=";return false;" onclick=";return false;

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Re: re intro

Post by Pumo » Fri Mar 04, 2016 4:16 pm


I agree with Ben, you should not feel Stupid at all.
After all, Dhamma is not precisely the easiest thing to learn in the world, but it worths to learn it, even if at a slow pace.
As long as you get the basic idea, finer details will be learned later naturally.

So don't feel bad! :smile:

Also, don't struggle too much with getting things 'right'.
Meditation techniques can be a bit hard sometimes, so don't push things beyond your possibilities.

And welcome back, hope you will feel at home, this is a very nice and warm forum.

My best wishes for you. :namaste:
'may all beings be happy at heart.' - Karaniya Metta Sutta :buddha1:

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Re: re intro

Post by DNS » Fri Mar 04, 2016 4:30 pm

Welcome back!


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Re: re intro

Post by AvaLily » Fri Mar 04, 2016 9:50 pm

:thanks: thank you all welcomes and for the video it was very good and helpful
i know i have found love from my cats and they help me feel better about myself

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Re: re intro

Post by DC2R » Wed Mar 09, 2016 3:24 am

Welcome! You will find many great resources here.
"May the blessings of the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha always be firmly established in your hearts." ―Ajahn Chah

Quick resources:

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Re: re intro

Post by AvaLily » Sat Jul 09, 2016 4:37 pm

Sorry av not been around :coffee:
i have changed my gender to demigirl ( meaning am more female than male )
I changed my name to AvaLily am sorry if i keep going back and forward to the forums
i keep going back and forward with this family will not be happy that i have chosen Buddhism .
But oh well

I hope you are all well :namaste:

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Re: re intro

Post by The Thinker » Sat Jul 09, 2016 9:32 pm

Hello :namaste:
"Watch your heart, observe. Be the observer, be the knower, not the condition" Ajahn Sumedho volume5 - The Wheel Of Truth

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Re: re intro

Post by Sprouticus » Sun Jul 10, 2016 4:17 am

Hello AvaLily,

It's nice to meet you. I look forward to any contributions you choose to make to the forum.

Namo buddhaya

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