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Welcome!Wanderer wrote:At a stage in my life where I am a Christian -- a struggling Christian -- on the verge of accepting that I may no longer be able too keep up the façade for much longer. If I renounce my faith I lose the vast majority of my friends and my fiancée.
I've always felt drawn to Buddhism and though I've never been diagnosed(I'm pretty sure it's incredibly difficult to accurately diagnose in adults as well), I'm pretty sure I have ADD(Attention Deficit Disorder) and meditation is the only thing I've found, ever, to stop my mind dead from running a million miles an hour. It's utter bliss and so hard to put in to words. My mind normally questions and considers things and then breaks them down and goes over and over and over every possible eventuality, so it can be pretty exhausting. It was ultimately what sowed the seeds of doubt in my mind that were inescapable that have lead me here.
I have a lot about my character that I'd like to address -- inward and outward -- so I am looking forward to learning both how to cope with various things myself but also how I can be a positive and joyful person to others.
I look forward to meeting you all.
I feel for you, as I have had similar struggles, starting back in college. I began a personal search for information on the origins of Christianity, looking for books at the library and additional information online. I came to the conclusion that things aren't as cut and dry as I was taught growing up. For awhile i considered myself a Christian agnostic, then later agnostic. I also read up on Christian mysticism and the Essenes. I began reading some dhamma texts that I found at my old job a while ago and eventually found my way here. I call myself a Buddhist now, although I'm not very open about it.
Most of my family is Christian as well. Thankfully, my boyfriend is an atheist and respects my beliefs. Don't feel like you need to rush into a decision right now. Just take your time and learn as much as you can. There are some Christian Buddhists out there too, maybe that might suit your current situation?
Good luck and metta to you!
Hello Wanderer,Wanderer wrote:At a stage in my life where I am a Christian -- a struggling Christian -- on the verge of accepting that I may no longer be able too keep up the façade for much longer. If I renounce my faith I lose the vast majority of my friends and my fiancée.
welcome to Dhamma Wheel. I hope you find this group to help you with your ADD problems and other various mind problems.
Don't worry, I think you are doing right but it may be fruitful or not, that will totally depend on your resolve.
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