Search found 407 matches

by Laurens
Thu Aug 23, 2018 4:48 pm
Forum: Family Life and Relationships
Topic: Being Offended
Replies: 45
Views: 1133

Re: Being Offended

I agree that the sense of self has a lot to do with being offended. Sometimes though, its not a strength in the sense of self that leads to offence, rather it is a weakness. It is a confrontation with something that a person finds difficult. For example. If you were to say to somebody; 'God doesn't ...
by Laurens
Wed Aug 22, 2018 8:51 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Compassion fatigue
Replies: 26
Views: 729

Re: Compassion fatigue

What is it that makes you tired of acting compassionately? What is the part of you that needs the pep talk trying to tell you? Maybe you are grasping at this idea that to fit in with the idea of being a good Buddhist you need to continually act in a selfless and compassionate manner. If we are doing...
by Laurens
Thu Aug 09, 2018 5:52 am
Forum: Family Life and Relationships
Topic: Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?
Replies: 18
Views: 297

Re: Why do we have resentment towards the people are very close to us?

Sometimes its a reflection of things that we resent in ourselves. The reason, I believe, that the Buddha said there is no one in the entire universe more deserving of your love than you (to paraphrase) is because once you let go of those inner judgements that you hold towards yourself, they stop bec...
by Laurens
Fri Aug 03, 2018 5:28 am
Forum: Wellness, Diet & Fitness
Topic: Insomnia
Replies: 11
Views: 388

Re: Insomnia

Try to stay awake and keep your eyes wide open all night.

Reverse enthusiasm can be quite powerful for some people
by Laurens
Thu Aug 02, 2018 5:46 am
Forum: Sīla
Topic: How to deal with ignorant brutes in a discussion
Replies: 69
Views: 1888

Re: How to deal with ignorant brutes in a discussion

I tend to find that you can turn a debate from a 'slagging match' to a 'discussion' by doing the following: Actually being interested in their viewpoint even if from your perspective it is wrong. This usually breaks down people's barriers. Especially if their viewpoint is usually subject to derision...
by Laurens
Wed Aug 01, 2018 7:33 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Thought on abstaining from false speech
Replies: 7
Views: 279

Re: Thought on abstaining from false speech

And then of course theres white lies. you dont want to speak falsely, but you dont want to harm another with your "true" speech either. The example often given is when your wife asks if her dress looks nice. I think there are ways to tell the truth that aren't saying 'sorry darling but you look hor...
by Laurens
Wed Aug 01, 2018 7:21 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Thought on abstaining from false speech
Replies: 7
Views: 279

Re: Thought on abstaining from false speech

Yes ive actually found false speech to be the most difficult to refrain from. I mean Its not hard to abstain from flat out fabrications, but sometimes false speech is uttered just out of lack of mindfulness or misspeaks (more of an issue with actual speaking, then typing). Or maybe you thought it w...
by Laurens
Tue Jul 24, 2018 9:12 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Thought on abstaining from false speech
Replies: 7
Views: 279

Re: Thought on abstaining from false speech

It is possible to say something true that is still unwholesome (true but unbeneficial, true but at the wrong time). Or to say something true that has nothing to do with the Dhamma and therefore wouldn’t be “channeling the Dhamma”. On the other hand, lying is always unwholesome. Therefore I think th...
by Laurens
Tue Jul 24, 2018 5:32 pm
Forum: Family Life and Relationships
Topic: Incest (genetics)
Replies: 7
Views: 464

Re: Incest (genetics)

Incest increases the odds of recessive genetic defects coming about because the individuals share very similar DNA. In other words if you carry a gene that is expressed as some defect or abnormality, but it is recessive, the chances are it won't come out unless you find someone else with the same re...
by Laurens
Tue Jul 24, 2018 5:56 am
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Thought on abstaining from false speech
Replies: 7
Views: 279

Thought on abstaining from false speech

Sometimes its tough to follow precepts that simply tell us not to do something. It's often worth trying to formulate them in a positive way. So with that in mind how about this; When you speak the truth you are channelling Dhamma (or God or whatever it is you like to call it) that will give your wor...
by Laurens
Tue Jul 24, 2018 5:44 am
Forum: Family Life and Relationships
Topic: Toxic Relationships
Replies: 11
Views: 545

Re: Toxic Relationships

The main thing I would recommend is making metta a focus of your meditation when you are finding things particularly tough. I won't necessarily prevent things from triggering you into feeling negative, but it will become easier to empathise and to let go of any ill will before it builds up into rese...
by Laurens
Thu Jul 19, 2018 5:26 am
Forum: General Theravāda discussion
Topic: What are the scholarly views on agnosticism about the Pali Canon?
Replies: 7
Views: 311

Re: What are the scholarly views on agnosticism about the Pali Canon?

Saying scholars can only trace something back to a certain point doesn't mean it ends there, it means we run out of evidence for it's prior existence. One day they might find a cave with a sutta quote inside that dates to the time just after the Buddha. It doesn't prove anything, it just allows for ...
by Laurens
Tue Jul 17, 2018 9:11 pm
Forum: General Theravāda discussion
Topic: Atheistic Buddhism
Replies: 11
Views: 723

Re: Atheistic Buddhism

I'd say you are assuming atheistic Buddhism is the idea that the Buddha was an atheist. I think the interpretation would be that the Buddha was a person who discovered a system for bringing about the end of suffering, but was also a human and thus subscribed to the prevailing cultural beliefs of the...
by Laurens
Tue Jul 17, 2018 9:06 pm
Forum: General Theravāda discussion
Topic: Why do Buddhas never joke?
Replies: 15
Views: 624

Re: Why do Buddhas never joke?

I was hoping the post would contain a punchline... :lol: For all we know the Buddha did joke, but it probably wasn't recorded as it wasn't seen as part of the teachings. I find it hard to believe that he would have been completely humourless. Most spiritually advanced people are funny and or are kno...
by Laurens
Tue Jul 17, 2018 5:28 am
Forum: General Theravāda Meditation
Topic: Which is the best Ajahn Brahm book for his more recent meditation instructions?
Replies: 1
Views: 126

Which is the best Ajahn Brahm book for his more recent meditation instructions?

Hello, Having read Mindfulness; Bliss and Beyond some years ago, it is my understanding that the venerable Ajahn Brahm has updated his technique to focus more on letting go and loving awareness. It seems he has produced several more books since then, I was just wondering which, if any contains more ...