Search found 403 matches

by L.N.
Thu Dec 21, 2017 3:48 pm
Forum: Suggestion box
Topic: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!
Replies: 129
Views: 28103

Re: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!

Why don't you two stop arguing? Dropping the conversation would make the forum more Buddhist. Just let it go. Yes, many people have tried to shut me up. Retrofuturist is the one in control, as he is the administrator. I came here to discuss Dhamma. Retrofuturist has hindered this opportunity. You c...
by L.N.
Thu Dec 21, 2017 3:22 pm
Forum: Suggestion box
Topic: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!
Replies: 129
Views: 28103

Re: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!

Greetings L.N., ... your faithlessness ... What are you talking about? Your inclination to assume the worst and be lacking in good faith, in terms of interpersonal engagement - and being conclusively in error as a result, whenever you do so. I hope that has clarified the meaning in detail of what w...
by L.N.
Mon Dec 18, 2017 1:29 am
Forum: Suggestion box
Topic: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!
Replies: 129
Views: 28103

Re: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!

If you need me to say that explicitly to you personally to help with that healing process, please let me know. If you feel in any way wronged by me, please get in touch. Right. My experience with doing this with you is that the result is you make excuses for yourself and you respond with recriminat...
by L.N.
Mon Dec 18, 2017 1:26 am
Forum: Suggestion box
Topic: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!
Replies: 129
Views: 28103

Re: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!

... your faithlessness ... What are you talking about? It is just that the argumentative ones stick out and give the appearance that the forum is being dominated by them, when actually they are rare and cordiality and helpful posts are really quite common. One of the most "argumentative" ...
by L.N.
Mon Dec 18, 2017 1:20 am
Forum: Suggestion box
Topic: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!
Replies: 129
Views: 28103

Re: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!

... it's just that we had one particular member who took it upon himself to play Dhamma Cop and incessantly hound and badger anyone who said anything contrary to his understandings of what was important, what should be respected and what should be protected. I understand you are referring to me. If...
by L.N.
Mon Dec 18, 2017 1:11 am
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball
Replies: 38
Views: 11366

Re: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball

Yes, perhaps we can now discuss the benefits of taking personal responsibility for one's volitional actions and the effect such actions/words might have on self and others. The thing about personal responsibility is that it is about me as a person choosing to take responsibility, it's not about you...
by L.N.
Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:25 pm
Forum: Suggestion box
Topic: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!
Replies: 129
Views: 28103

Re: Let's make this forum more Buddhist!

Greetings, I really like this topic. My personal objective remains to give members this space, free of coersion, and not telling people what they ought to do with it. Therefore, it's refreshing to see people wanting to take some personal ownership of what they want this forum to be, and leading the...
by L.N.
Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:16 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball
Replies: 38
Views: 11366

Re: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball

I shall point out what I have said before. There are two arrows, it is the first one only the actor has control over. The other person can respond to events or shoot themselves with another arrow and react. Buddhist practice is about responding appropriately, not reacting. I am in complete agreemen...
by L.N.
Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:02 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball
Replies: 38
Views: 11366

Re: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball

Perhaps your answer is to simply ignore comments which play the person instead of the ball. Excellent, I'm glad you agree! Perhaps this will allow other aspects of dhamma to be discussed besides this one then. Yes, perhaps we can now discuss the benefits of taking personal responsibility for one's ...
by L.N.
Wed Dec 13, 2017 3:58 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball
Replies: 38
Views: 11366

Re: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball

I shall point out what I have said before. There are two arrows, it is the first one only the actor has control over. The other person can respond to events or shoot themselves with another arrow and react. Buddhist practice is about responding appropriately, not reacting. I am in complete agreemen...
by L.N.
Wed Dec 13, 2017 3:56 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball
Replies: 38
Views: 11366

Re: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball

I think what needs to be considered is that some people just don't think that what they say could be hurtful to others. Some people just are quite rough or thick-skinned. This is not to excuse them; it's just that it isn't appropriate to assume that everyone does or should operate by the same stand...
by L.N.
Wed Dec 13, 2017 3:49 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball
Replies: 38
Views: 11366

Re: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball

Are the suttas not clear enough? "It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will." — AN 5.198 https://www.accesstoinsight.org/ati/ptf/dhamma/sacca/sacca4/samma-vaca/index.html It appears ...
by L.N.
Wed Dec 13, 2017 3:44 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball
Replies: 38
Views: 11366

Re: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball

Don't you see that words might elicit reactivity in others? That is part of what this discussion is about. There's a spectrum of possible responses, none of which are in the control of the speaker. If enough people go on to read a certain innocuous comment, someone in that group is bound to take of...
by L.N.
Tue Dec 12, 2017 11:59 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball
Replies: 38
Views: 11366

Re: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball

A good place to start, is to not assume that literally everything anyone says is a "personalized attack". Agreed. For example, I called an analysis of yours "overwrought" yesterday and you instantly took that to be an attack on your mindstate etc. No, I took it to be commentary ...
by L.N.
Tue Dec 12, 2017 11:42 pm
Forum: Sīla
Topic: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball
Replies: 38
Views: 11366

Re: Right Speech: The Person in the Ball

I agree that these would be ways to phrase the comments in a manner less likely to be taken personally. However, regardless of whether the comment begins with "your words" or "those words," notice that the subject is still the words, not the speaker's state of mind or character....