Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

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Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby lyndon taylor » Mon Jun 17, 2013 7:46 am

I can't believe the nonsense on a couple other Buddhist forums I joined, Ive looked through the posts on this forum and it seems much more polite and informed, My Buddhism practise and knowledge is a little rusty, and I'm looking to learn and help others with the little I do understand, Ive lived at several therevada Buddhist temples for about a year put together, I was a temple boy for three months and a monk for 3 weeks, but all this was almost 20 years ago, I understand the basics pretty well, its the enlightenment stuff thats way over my head, I'm actually not even trying to become enlightened, I just want to help myself become a better person, I have issues with anger and arguementedness, I could be much more loving and compassionate, I'm passionate about sobriety, very into Honesty, I have a treatable, in remission manic depressive illness that I have to take medicine for every day. Im only able to work part time, but I run a small violin repair shop out of my house that my rather generous parents bought me. I feel blessed, I live a very happy fulfilled uncomplicated life, except when I don't sell a violin, it can get a little tougher, but nothing to really complain about. I was born in 1962, I used to have a strong belief I was the reincarnation of a Tibetan buddhist monk that died to save the leader of his monastery when the communists invaded, now its not so important to me whether thats true or not, but I am a strong believer in reincarnation. Thank you for letting me participate, I already think its going to feel like home compared to the forum I'm coming from, sincerely Lyndon
18 years ago I made one of the most important decisions of my life and entered a local Cambodian Buddhist Temple as a temple boy and, for only 3 weeks, an actual Therevada Buddhist monk. I am not a scholar, great meditator, or authority on Buddhism, but Buddhism is something I love from the Bottom of my heart. It has taught me sobriety, morality, peace, and very importantly that my suffering is optional, and doesn't have to run my life. I hope to give back what little I can to the Buddhist community that has so generously given me so much, sincerely former monk John
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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby cooran » Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:13 am

Hello Lyndon,

Good to "officially" welcome you after you have been with Dhammawheel for a couple of years. :group:

With metta,
Chris
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---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---
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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby lyndon taylor » Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:41 am

Well I actually joined over 2 years ago, made 11 posts then forgot my password or user name or both, good thing I still know my email!! Hey cooran, Im 100% australian born in Sydney only lived 6 years there, went to first and second form in Canberra, I talk regularly to my cousins in NSW and Tasi. Read the ABC news every day. used to play cricket, etc etc, small world, thanks again, it was so cool to see someone reply to my post.
18 years ago I made one of the most important decisions of my life and entered a local Cambodian Buddhist Temple as a temple boy and, for only 3 weeks, an actual Therevada Buddhist monk. I am not a scholar, great meditator, or authority on Buddhism, but Buddhism is something I love from the Bottom of my heart. It has taught me sobriety, morality, peace, and very importantly that my suffering is optional, and doesn't have to run my life. I hope to give back what little I can to the Buddhist community that has so generously given me so much, sincerely former monk John
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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby Ben » Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:45 am

Greetings Lyndon,

I am a bit over the argumentation as well. The important thing, imho, is to find some people whether they are online or elsewhere, who you can draw on to support your understanding and practice. I hope you find some kalayanamittas and inspiration here.
kind regards,


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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby retrofuturist » Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:54 am

Greetings Lyndon,

Welcome (back) to Dhamma Wheel.

:hello:

Dhamma discussion is cool ~ arguing is not cool.

It is better to be cool, like the Buddha... he was cool.

:buddha1:

Metta,
Retro. :)
If you have asked me of the origination of unease, then I shall explain it to you in accordance with my understanding:
Whatever various forms of unease there are in the world, They originate founded in encumbering accumulation. (Pārāyanavagga)


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One who is such, calmed and ever mindful, He has no sorrows! -- Udana IV, 7


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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby lyndon taylor » Mon Jun 17, 2013 10:38 am

Thanks both, believe me i'm not here to continue arguement, I'm here to get away from arguement, some people have nothing better to do, ever since I joined free sangha I was constantly attacked for talking basic buddhists principles, I'd talk about the 5 precepts, a whole bunch of people would jump on my case to tell me precepts were made to be broken, I tell people the buddha cared about animals and would probably prefer people eat as little meat as possible, they'd tell me vegetarians kill more animals than meat eaters, that a cows life is no more important than a mosquito's. I'd tell them that sobriety is very important if you want to travel further on the path, they'd tell me about some drunk tibetan lama, who had sex with half his disciples, did drugs, that he was an enlightened master, and that enlightened people are beyond having to follow the precepts, the precepts are not really important,

So anyway, just to give you an idea of the sort of arguements I was in, but finally I learned some important lessons about how to repectfully disagree, without waging a full on blazing arguement, Im done with argueing, If I don't get it under control, there's not going to be a forum left that'll have me. So please, moderator staff, et all, if I fail to stay on my new non confrontational approach, and gentle nudge or even a sharp jab to wake me up when I backslide will be appreciated.

But basically I get the idea this is a more traditional, conservative therevada site, just like me, than these very liberal forums like freesangha, and new buddhist, am I wrong about that, from what Im seeing, I don't see flaming, argueing out of control on this site, freesangha doesn't seem to have even two individuals that agree with or like each other, its crazy, talk about a bad example being put forward of what buddhism is and can be.
18 years ago I made one of the most important decisions of my life and entered a local Cambodian Buddhist Temple as a temple boy and, for only 3 weeks, an actual Therevada Buddhist monk. I am not a scholar, great meditator, or authority on Buddhism, but Buddhism is something I love from the Bottom of my heart. It has taught me sobriety, morality, peace, and very importantly that my suffering is optional, and doesn't have to run my life. I hope to give back what little I can to the Buddhist community that has so generously given me so much, sincerely former monk John
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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby Ben » Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:39 am

Hi Lyndon,
I am sure you'll do fine here! And if there is anything that we can do (as staff members) to improve your experience - please feel free to make contact.
kind regards,

Ben
"One cannot step twice into the same river, nor can one grasp any mortal substance in a stable condition, but it scatters and again gathers; it forms and dissolves, and approaches and departs."

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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby David N. Snyder » Mon Jun 17, 2013 3:10 pm

Welcome back!

:hello:

:buddha2:
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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby Khalil Bodhi » Mon Jun 17, 2013 4:14 pm

Welcome back! I hope you find what you're looking for! Mettaya!
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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby manas » Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:20 pm

Welcome to Dhamma Wheel, Lyndon :hello:
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Re: Tired of arguing on Buddhist forums

Postby Bhikkhu Pesala » Tue Jun 18, 2013 7:34 pm

Puppha Sutta — S.iii.138, Khandhavagga, Saṃyuttanikāya.

“Nāhaṃ, bhikkhave, lokena vivadāmi, lokova mayā vivadati. Na, bhikkhave, dhammavādī kenaci lokasmiṃ vivadati.”

“Monks, I do not dispute with the world. It is the world that disputes with me. One who speaks the truth, does not dispute with anyone in the world.”


In other words, as he speaks the truth, it cannot be said that he is argumentative. This passage shows that it is not only the Blessed One, but anyone who teaches the Dhamma is not engaged in disputes when explaining the truth to others. He is only helping the uninformed to arrive at the truth in the matter of beliefs. (Venerable Mahāsī Sayādaw)
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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby fivebells » Tue Jun 18, 2013 7:44 pm

I try not to argue, but I do keep getting sucked back in. Samsara.
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Re: Tired of arguing on Buddhist forums

Postby lyndon taylor » Tue Jun 18, 2013 7:56 pm

Bhikkhu Pesala wrote:Puppha Sutta — S.iii.138, Khandhavagga, Saṃyuttanikāya.

“Nāhaṃ, bhikkhave, lokena vivadāmi, lokova mayā vivadati. Na, bhikkhave, dhammavādī kenaci lokasmiṃ vivadati.”

“Monks, I do not dispute with the world. It is the world that disputes with me. One who speaks the truth, does not dispute with anyone in the world.”


In other words, as he speaks the truth, it cannot be said that he is argumentative. This passage shows that it is not only the Blessed One, but anyone who teaches the Dhamma is not engaged in disputes when explaining the truth to others. He is only helping the uninformed to arrive at the truth in the matter of beliefs. (Venerable Mahāsī Sayādaw)



There are long standing tradition of debating and heated discussions between monks in their training within some schools of Buddhism, for me the hard part is to know when to stop debating, and when a debate has turned into a full flung arguement with personal attacks and insults, I have a particular problem being able to not respond to personal attacks and lies about my beliefs and character, for instance on violin forums, when Ive worked 15 years in the violin business, and someone states; "you don't know anything about violins" how do you keep silent and not respond to that, I find it hard, but I'm learning its OK to disagree, just try to be significantly less rude about it and more polite than the other guy.
18 years ago I made one of the most important decisions of my life and entered a local Cambodian Buddhist Temple as a temple boy and, for only 3 weeks, an actual Therevada Buddhist monk. I am not a scholar, great meditator, or authority on Buddhism, but Buddhism is something I love from the Bottom of my heart. It has taught me sobriety, morality, peace, and very importantly that my suffering is optional, and doesn't have to run my life. I hope to give back what little I can to the Buddhist community that has so generously given me so much, sincerely former monk John
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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby fig tree » Wed Jun 19, 2013 2:09 am

Welcome Lyndon, hope you find Dhammawheel of value.

Bhikkhu Pesala wrote:Puppha Sutta — S.iii.138, Khandhavagga, Saṃyuttanikāya.

“Nāhaṃ, bhikkhave, lokena vivadāmi, lokova mayā vivadati. Na, bhikkhave, dhammavādī kenaci lokasmiṃ vivadati.”

“Monks, I do not dispute with the world. It is the world that disputes with me. One who speaks the truth, does not dispute with anyone in the world.”


In other words, as he speaks the truth, it cannot be said that he is argumentative. This passage shows that it is not only the Blessed One, but anyone who teaches the Dhamma is not engaged in disputes when explaining the truth to others. He is only helping the uninformed to arrive at the truth in the matter of beliefs. (Venerable Mahāsī Sayādaw)

:goodpost: Thinking back on the arguments I've had in life, I do get the impression that it was not a pure desire to convey useful truths to the listener that made my half of the conversation argumentative.

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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby Spiny Norman » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:08 pm

lyndon taylor wrote: Thank you for letting me participate, I already think its going to feel like home compared to the forum I'm coming from, sincerely Lyndon


Welcome to Dhamma Wheel.
Well, oi dunno...
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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby lyndon taylor » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:15 pm

Hey, You get around Spiny, good to see you here, thanks for the welcome!!!!
18 years ago I made one of the most important decisions of my life and entered a local Cambodian Buddhist Temple as a temple boy and, for only 3 weeks, an actual Therevada Buddhist monk. I am not a scholar, great meditator, or authority on Buddhism, but Buddhism is something I love from the Bottom of my heart. It has taught me sobriety, morality, peace, and very importantly that my suffering is optional, and doesn't have to run my life. I hope to give back what little I can to the Buddhist community that has so generously given me so much, sincerely former monk John
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Re: Tired of argueing on Buddhist forums

Postby PadmaPhala » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:48 pm

hi, AUSSIE! æ think you are supposed to say "oi, oi, oi"

time for a retreat maybe? I'm considering one in Montezuma, Costa Rica.
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