Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths. What can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
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Ben
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Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby Ben » Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:15 am

Hi all,

My friend, Sachin, on facebook posted the following and I would like to know your thoughts on the matter.
Particularly as there are quite a few married (inc. defacto) and ordained members.
What are your thoughts?

Ben

Q: Is MARRIAGE a vehicle (yana) to take a person to its liberation?

-Marriage is a vow to dissolve the self and become two.
-Marriage is a system in which you practice to love, care, respect your counterpart thus help dissolve EGO.
-Marriage brings a joy of creation of another life (offspring), watch them grow, take a form, experience working of Sanskaras and karma.
-Marriage evokes paramitas in a person like karuna, sheel, maîtri, virya, daan(ability to live selflessly for others ) and so on.
-Marriage, with time, naturally empties lust from the minds of the couple.
-Married family constitutes a miniscule form of SANGHA in which morality is nurtured, vows of panchasheel are observed and eightfold path is practiced.
-Marriage is a perfect vehicle to reach and experience NIBBANA, but often misunderstood.

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“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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tiltbillings
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby tiltbillings » Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:20 am

blasphemy

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Ben
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby Ben » Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:25 am

To some, I agree Tilt.
I thought it was an interesting idea. I have long believed that life as a layperson is by no means second rate because there are rich veins of spiritual growth in the crucible of a long-term relationship.
kind regards,

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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tiltbillings
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby tiltbillings » Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:31 am


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Ben
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby Ben » Fri Jun 14, 2013 10:47 am

Yes, I wouldn't have phrased it the same way as Sachin.
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

SarathW
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby SarathW » Fri Jun 14, 2013 10:55 am

"The point of Ānanda’s discourse is that even food, craving and conceit, which are normally
factors of bondage, can be skilfully employed to attain arahantship; but with sexuality there is absolutely
no skilful way it can be used for the goal of the holy life."

Page 59:
http://www.urbandharma.org/pdf1/wh155An ... ikaya1.pdf
;)
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”

Coyote
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby Coyote » Fri Jun 14, 2013 11:15 am

Lay people can attain Nibbana. The monastic Sangha was specifically tailored to be a path to Nibbana, so it's better in that respect. I think it is clear from the discourses which is the favoured vehicle. After all, Arahants no longer see the lay life as worthy and must ordain or die.
But better is perhaps a subjective quality, and so it would depend on the person which path is better for them at that point.
"If beings knew, as I know, the results of giving & sharing, they would not eat without having given, nor would the stain of miserliness overcome their minds. Even if it were their last bite, their last mouthful, they would not eat without having shared."
Iti 26

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Gaoxing
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby Gaoxing » Fri Jun 14, 2013 11:29 am


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Sekha
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby Sekha » Fri Jun 14, 2013 11:33 am

This is just a rhetoric question it seems, and everyone knows the answer imo. It is very clear in the suttas that lay followers who are faithful enough attain stream-entry.
Where knowledge ends, religion begins. - B. Disraeli

http://www.buddha-vacana.org

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kirk5a
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby kirk5a » Fri Jun 14, 2013 11:47 am

"When one thing is practiced & pursued, ignorance is abandoned, clear knowing arises, the conceit 'I am' is abandoned, latent tendencies are uprooted, fetters are abandoned. Which one thing? Mindfulness immersed in the body." -AN 1.230

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PadmaPhala
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby PadmaPhala » Fri Jun 14, 2013 12:11 pm

yes.

see the semantic field of samgha in spokesanskrit.de

santa100
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby santa100 » Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:39 pm


Coyote
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby Coyote » Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:57 pm

^ in relation to what is said above, on the attainment of non-returning sensual activity ceases and therefore one is unlikely to remain a layperson, unless one has dependents or other obligations. I think this explains why few laypeople are recorded to have attained arahantship.
"If beings knew, as I know, the results of giving & sharing, they would not eat without having given, nor would the stain of miserliness overcome their minds. Even if it were their last bite, their last mouthful, they would not eat without having shared."
Iti 26

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PadmaPhala
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby PadmaPhala » Fri Jun 14, 2013 2:12 pm

silent arahanta...

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Sekha
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby Sekha » Fri Jun 14, 2013 3:13 pm

I just realized that there are two questions, which are actually quite different.

1) Is marriage a path to Nibbana? (understood: is it possible to attain Nibbana while being married) - Yes.

2) Is marriage a VEHICLE to Nibbana? - No.
Performing one's duties in the context of marriage can be part of the vehicle to Nibbana, but it is evident that it is not the whole thing. Otherwise a Buddha would teach that the way to Nibbana is to get married. And there would be many more arahants.
Where knowledge ends, religion begins. - B. Disraeli

http://www.buddha-vacana.org

binocular
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby binocular » Fri Jun 14, 2013 6:43 pm


binocular
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby binocular » Fri Jun 14, 2013 7:04 pm


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manas
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby manas » Fri Jun 14, 2013 10:49 pm

Is the Pope a Pagan?
Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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Lazy_eye
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby Lazy_eye » Sat Jun 15, 2013 12:11 am


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Gaoxing
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Re: Is marriage a path to Nibbana?

Postby Gaoxing » Sat Jun 15, 2013 1:01 am



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