Anxieties

[Bretteo]

I've had a lot of practice meditating.

Been ten years now and I still dont understand why I'm self conscious about meditating at home or why my social anxieties have yet to lessen.

ideas? Thoughts?

[daverupa]

You might be talking about the underlined bits, in which case there may be some work yet to do before this gets addressed:

"In the same way, there are these gross impurities in a monk intent on heightened mind: misconduct in body, speech, & mind. These the monk — aware & able by nature — abandons, destroys, dispels, wipes out of existence. When he is rid of them, there remain in him the moderate impurities: thoughts of sensuality, ill will, & harmfulness. These he abandons, destroys, dispels, wipes out of existence. When he is rid of them there remain in him the fine impurities: thoughts of his caste, thoughts of his home district, thoughts related to not wanting to be despised. These he abandons, destroys, dispels, wipes out of existence.

Harsh words, when received, are to be endured like mere rain or hot sun.

[Ben]

I've had a lot of practice meditating.

Been ten years now and I still dont understand why I'm self conscious about meditating at home or why my social anxieties have yet to lessen.

ideas? Thoughts?

It could be for a range of reasons. The eradication of the defilements is a long-term project. It takes time.
After nearly 30 years of practice I have learned not to have any expectations but to just keep walking on the path, putting one foot in front of the other.
kind regards,

Ben

[binocular]

I've had a lot of practice meditating.
Been ten years now and I still dont understand why I'm self conscious about meditating at home or why my social anxieties have yet to lessen.
ideas? Thoughts?

Perhaps you've been meditating (and engaging in "spirituality") with the intention to become normal on the world's terms, to fit in.
Perhaps you think that society at large is what is to be taken refuge in eventually, and not the Sangha of the Buddha's noble disciples.

[Kamran]

I think it takes more than just meditation. Actually, you may be interested to see the similarities between Cognative behavioral Therapy and Buddhist practice.

Below is an extensive audio therapy course for Social Anxiety. Dr. Richards himself suffered from social anxiety for 20 yrs before becoming a psychologist. This is a comprehensive 20 week course.

You can purchase for $259 or can download for free at file share sites like those linked below:
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/over ... al-anxiety

Online Book of the material covered in the course:
http://www.pinkhog.com/mezhopking/docs/ ... ntents.htm

Audio files:
http://www.filestube.com/bpbSmUKpdvL7SwTgjxycDI
http://ka.tt/dr-thomas-a-richards-overc ... 10702.html

[Bretteo]

I've had a lot of practice meditating.
Been ten years now and I still dont understand why I'm self conscious about meditating at home or why my social anxieties have yet to lessen.
ideas? Thoughts?

Perhaps you've been meditating (and engaging in "spirituality") with the intention to become normal on the world's terms, to fit in.
Perhaps you think that society at large is what is to be taken refuge in eventually, and not the Sangha of the Buddha's noble disciples.

I can definitely agree with that. I've found myself repeating"just be yourself “ all day today and it seemed to help my view of things.

[binocular]

I hope and wish you'll find a way to wholesomely deal with this.