To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult first?

Discussion of ordination, the Vinaya and monastic life. How and where to ordain? Bhikkhuni ordination etc.

Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Postby Cittasanto » Mon Apr 29, 2013 7:28 am

Consult your heart!
This offering maybe right, or wrong, but it is one, the other, both, or neither!
Blog, - Some Suttas Translated, Ajahn Chah.
"Others will misconstrue reality due to their personal perspectives, doggedly holding onto and not easily discarding them; We shall not misconstrue reality due to our own personal perspectives, nor doggedly holding onto them, but will discard them easily. This effacement shall be done."
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Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Postby Zom » Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:34 am

Indeed, no books and no advice can help in this situation.

The main idea is to understand if you are really fit to be a monk. The good thing to test it is to observe your own mind with its ambitions and defilements for a long period of time (let's say - several years). If you are a layman, but without any pressing on youself, you already live like a monk (or at least, quite close to such life style), then there will be no problem becoming a monk. But if you realize that ordaining will make a huge shift in your life, then this is not good and there is a big chance that later you will regret much that you have lost your job and your girl. This is in general. Ofc., there can be exceptions, etc...
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Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Postby SarathW » Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:09 am

Hi Brandwach
Define your goals. Why do you want to become a monk? Can you achieve this goal without becoming a monk?
Buddha was married and enjoyed all the luxuries in the life before he became a monk!
One he took the decision to become a monk he never looked back until he achieved his goal.
Nirvana. :)
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Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Postby SarathW » Wed May 01, 2013 3:11 am

David N. Snyder wrote:For anyone considering ordaining, I always recommend that they read The Broken Buddha, by Ven. Dhammika. It is not to discourage anyone but just so that one does not go in with high expectations, thinking things such as that all monks have perfect sila, all monks meditate, all monks are nice, etc. Here is the link to the pdf:

http://www.theravada-dhamma.org/pdf/Dha ... Buddha.pdf


HI David
I just finish reading the first half of this article. I am glad to see someone has raised the common concerns about the imbalance attitude of monks.
However I felt this article also very imbalanced. So I agree with some of them and reject the rest.
I think we should have a discussion about the concerns raised be Ven. Dhammika.
When I was a management trainee my supervisor said to me “When you point out problems, come with solutions as well”
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Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Postby David N. Snyder » Wed May 01, 2013 3:20 am

SarathW wrote:I think we should have a discussion about the concerns raised be Ven. Dhammika.
When I was a management trainee my supervisor said to me “When you point out problems, come with solutions as well”


Here is the discussion, currently at 175 posts:

viewtopic.php?f=16&t=2698
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Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Postby Paribbajaka » Thu May 02, 2013 1:32 pm

Echoing what others have said, I think this it is important you discuss this with your girlfriend. Also keep in mind that temporary ordination is a very normal thing in many Theravada traditions. Having small periods of manastic life interspersed with lay life is very typical in Laos and Thailand, and many that i"ve spoken to have found it to be a very rewarding path (this obviously gets more difficult if\when children enter the picture but is still very doable).
May all beings be happy!
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Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Postby kmath » Sat May 04, 2013 1:23 am

Paribbajaka wrote:Echoing what others have said, I think this it is important you discuss this with your girlfriend. Also keep in mind that temporary ordination is a very normal thing in many Theravada traditions. Having small periods of manastic life interspersed with lay life is very typical in Laos and Thailand, and many that i"ve spoken to have found it to be a very rewarding path (this obviously gets more difficult if\when children enter the picture but is still very doable).


Second this. Don't do anything drastic until you've spend some good time in a monastery, I'd say at least a month.

I knew a guy in the same position you're describing and he opted to become a monk. That was three years ago and he's still ordained. There's no real going back for him now. Even if he wanted to return to his woman, it wouldn't be the same now I'm sure. And that's assuming she would take him back, which seems unlikely at this point.

Be careful! A good lady is hard to find!
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Re: To Marry or Ordain -Which resources should I consult fir

Postby BubbaBuddhist » Fri May 17, 2013 11:29 am

At one time I seriously considered ordination. In fact I studied toward that goal. But there were, and still are, so many aspects of the world that I absolutely love--opera, art, literature, and especially sharing these loves with a good and fine woman--that I decided the life of a layman was good enough. I think it's heroic to ordain. But I think it's equally heroic to wake up every day, recognize the world's problems, but decide to love it anyway.

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