Caught between normal life/ monk life

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Strive4Karuna
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Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by Strive4Karuna »

I feel like I have no choice in my life but to become a monk or recluse and dedicate my entire life to meditation. I have suffered greatly in my life, have always wished for a normal life (get a job maybe have a family) but I don't think it is what I was born to do. I am 19 years old but feel younger. I am a little kid inside who suffers from strong anxieties and I'm afraid to leave my family in order to become a monk. Some of you might not understand what I mean about feeling like I have no choice in life but to become a monk or recluse but you just got to trust me on this without asking questions about why I feel that way. Pretty much growing up in Toronto, Canada, dressing the way other kids dress, listening to the same music etc., its hard for me to do a complete 180 in my life from becoming a city slicker to becoming a monk. What should I do?
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Ben
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by Ben »

Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

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Cittasanto
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by Cittasanto »

Ben wrote:Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben
Seconded!
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Alobha
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by Alobha »

Ben wrote:Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben
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Khalil Bodhi
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by Khalil Bodhi »

Strive4Karuna wrote:I feel like I have no choice in my life but to become a monk or recluse and dedicate my entire life to meditation. I have suffered greatly in my life, have always wished for a normal life (get a job maybe have a family) but I don't think it is what I was born to do. I am 19 years old but feel younger. I am a little kid inside who suffers from strong anxieties and I'm afraid to leave my family in order to become a monk. Some of you might not understand what I mean about feeling like I have no choice in life but to become a monk or recluse but you just got to trust me on this without asking questions about why I feel that way. Pretty much growing up in Toronto, Canada, dressing the way other kids dress, listening to the same music etc., its hard for me to do a complete 180 in my life from becoming a city slicker to becoming a monk. What should I do?
Fourthed. May you find true happiness! :heart:
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Yana
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by Yana »

Ben wrote:Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben
Fifthed! :smile:
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daverupa
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by daverupa »

Don't take student loans or buy a car. Work and earn money to attend school if you like, but try to avoid long financial commitments because those can take choices away. Don't have children, or engage in activities which lead to them, for the same reason. Don't start smoking, ditto.

Then, you can relax and find your bliss without a rush.

:candle:
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    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.

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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by Chi »

Ben wrote:Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben
Fine. Sixthed. :jumping:
Do Good, Avoid Evil, Purify the Mind.
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by DNS »

Ben wrote:Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben
Seventhed!
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Ben
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by Ben »

oh lord, I think I've created a monster!!!!
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: [email protected]..
plwk
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by plwk »

oh lord, I think I've created a monster!!!!
yes and with my addition, it has 8 heads now :lol:
tanhakhaya
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by tanhakhaya »

steve19800
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by steve19800 »

Strive4Karuna wrote:I feel like I have no choice in my life but to become a monk or recluse and dedicate my entire life to meditation. I have suffered greatly in my life, have always wished for a normal life (get a job maybe have a family) but I don't think it is what I was born to do. I am 19 years old but feel younger. I am a little kid inside who suffers from strong anxieties and I'm afraid to leave my family in order to become a monk. Some of you might not understand what I mean about feeling like I have no choice in life but to become a monk or recluse but you just got to trust me on this without asking questions about why I feel that way. Pretty much growing up in Toronto, Canada, dressing the way other kids dress, listening to the same music etc., its hard for me to do a complete 180 in my life from becoming a city slicker to becoming a monk. What should I do?
I understand your situation. I know there are people who stuck in between, not sure for example they will be able to live a monk's life or just simply not ready yet just like you say separate from family. But at the same time you have the feeling that the lay people's life is not what we want to do, something is missing here.

In my opinion, take your time and you will know which decision is what you think best for you. Don't force yourself, let it flow naturally.
Try to participate in the retreat just like Ben said, 3 days, 10 days up to a month or more than that as you wish. Apart from this, I can assure you that you are not alone, life is a process, sometimes it takes time for things to settle down.
byronmajor
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Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Post by byronmajor »

Its my Kamma 9th.
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