How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Buddhist ethical conduct including the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).
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Dr. Dukkha
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How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by Dr. Dukkha »

Personal Morality Questions

How do I begin to be a more moral, selfless person? How to ease into the five precepts. I take food that belongs to my sisters because of lack of self-control and eat a bunch of junk food uncontrolably. I lie because I like to exagurate things and give half-truths. I commit sexual immorality because I watch porn. I use intoxicants because of both religious reasons, social pressure and being naive. I try not to harm sentient beings but sometimes find my thoughts are intrusive and I think of violence.

How do I ease into the Eightfold path? I don't work, therefore I help none. I slack off on meditation sometimes and end quick or skip days so that is against Concentration and Mindfulness. I speak badly about people because of peer pressure. I also talk excessively and decievingly, sometime telling stories with a bit of spice to make them sounds cooler and more relevant. I act wrongly because I don't help anyone but myself. I don't have Right View because I am constantly trying to convince myself that Buddhism is false so I don't have to be responsible for my actions. I don't put effort in most things I do. I like to sleep in bed all day like an animal. And my intentions are awfully bad karma because I have a habit of thinking about bad things happening to others.
"There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting."
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Wri
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by Wri »

Take it one step at a time. You won't climb a mountain by looking at it. Make a list of things you want to change and then work on one thing at a time. You have to set up camp sometimes before you get over that mountain. Accomplish one goal, then move on to the next.

A lot of these things will change on their own anyway as you become more devoted to Buddhism. Your brain may realize that it no longer needs to be drunk to appreciate life or be open with others. Porn is an especially nasty habit to break as it gives us something our very basic, primal brain wants. You likely won't quit it by thinking it's wrong or immoral, you're more likely to quit when you become disinterested in it.

Ultimately, if you want to be more selfless, you have to care for yourself. Good things will come to you if you do good things for others. They will respect you more and be more willing to treat you kindly. What we call "selfish" here is really just disrespect for others, ourselves, and kamma. It may just be ignorance, but you've obviously come out of the ignorance stage. So you've made the first step. Now its time to keep working.

Just take it one step at a time. No one's going to be perfect. The 5 precepts were natural to me, all I had to stop doing was killing insects. Even with that good fortune, I still have a lot of lust. Saying to myself that I shouldn't feel attraction to women isn't going to make me not horny :jumping: You have to realize that hardly anyone is even close to what we could call perfect and you have to be patient with yourself. Sometimes you have to take indirect routes to tackle moral issues, such as disinterest in physical pleasure.

Well, I've just run out of time to type and that's probably a good thing as I'll end up writing a novel. Best of luck to you!
Keep your mind steady and rest within the winds of experience.
May I show unconditional love to all beings.
dhammarelax
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by dhammarelax »

Dr. Dukkha wrote:Personal Morality Questions

How do I begin to be a more moral, selfless person? How to ease into the five precepts. I take food that belongs to my sisters because of lack of self-control and eat a bunch of junk food uncontrolably. I lie because I like to exagurate things and give half-truths. I commit sexual immorality because I watch porn. I use intoxicants because of both religious reasons, social pressure and being naive. I try not to harm sentient beings but sometimes find my thoughts are intrusive and I think of violence.

How do I ease into the Eightfold path? I don't work, therefore I help none. I slack off on meditation sometimes and end quick or skip days so that is against Concentration and Mindfulness. I speak badly about people because of peer pressure. I also talk excessively and decievingly, sometime telling stories with a bit of spice to make them sounds cooler and more relevant. I act wrongly because I don't help anyone but myself. I don't have Right View because I am constantly trying to convince myself that Buddhism is false so I don't have to be responsible for my actions. I don't put effort in most things I do. I like to sleep in bed all day like an animal. And my intentions are awfully bad karma because I have a habit of thinking about bad things happening to others.
Take the precepts in the morning, in the beginning it might help to do it in loud voice, while you do it pay strong attention to them, a way to say them is :
1. I undertake to keep the precept to abstain from killing or harming living beings, on purpose.
2. I undertake to keep the precept to abstain from taking what is not given.
3. I undertake to keep the precept to abstain from any wrong sexual activity.
4. I undertake to keep the precept to abstain from telling lies and harsh speech.
5. I undertake to keep the precept to abstain from taking drugs and alcohol.

Print them and keep a copy, the mind has a repeat mechanism and in some of its features works like a machine, when you repeat the precepts you are putting some instructions in, if you breach them the mind goes, hold a sec in the morning you said we are not going to do this and raises a flag, this is the first step. Morality is part of the noble eight fold path, which is the fourth noble truth, this truth needs to be developed which means you take it from 0 to 1 from 1 to 2 and so on.

Special attention is required for the speech one, think before you speak, keep silent when is the best option and use all your communication options, for example if someone ask you something you can ask something back instead of falling in to their game. People generally love the sound of their own voice so dont think they are desperately looking for your answers generally they couldn't care less.

smile all the time
dhammarelax
Even if the flesh & blood in my body dry up, leaving just the skin, tendons, & bones, I will use all my human firmness, human persistence and human striving. There will be no relaxing my persistence until I am the first of my generation to attain full awakening in this lifetime. ed. AN 2.5
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Aloka
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

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Wri wrote:Take it one step at a time. You won't climb a mountain by looking at it. Make a list of things you want to change and then work on one thing at a time. You have to set up camp sometimes before you get over that mountain. Accomplish one goal, then move on to the next.

A lot of these things will change on their own anyway as you become more devoted to Buddhism. Your brain may realize that it no longer needs to be drunk to appreciate life or be open with others. Porn is an especially nasty habit to break as it gives us something our very basic, primal brain wants. You likely won't quit it by thinking it's wrong or immoral, you're more likely to quit when you become disinterested in it.

Ultimately, if you want to be more selfless, you have to care for yourself. Good things will come to you if you do good things for others. They will respect you more and be more willing to treat you kindly. What we call "selfish" here is really just disrespect for others, ourselves, and kamma. It may just be ignorance, but you've obviously come out of the ignorance stage. So you've made the first step. Now its time to keep working.

Just take it one step at a time. No one's going to be perfect. The 5 precepts were natural to me, all I had to stop doing was killing insects. Even with that good fortune, I still have a lot of lust. Saying to myself that I shouldn't feel attraction to women isn't going to make me not horny . You have to realize that hardly anyone is even close to what we could call perfect and you have to be patient with yourself. Sometimes you have to take indirect routes to tackle moral issues, such as disinterest in physical pleasure.

Well, I've just run out of time to type and that's probably a good thing as I'll end up writing a novel. Best of luck to you!
:goodpost:
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Aloka
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by Aloka »

Hi Dr Dukkha,

I think first of all, for inspiration, its a good idea to be clear about the meaning of Refuge in Buddha Dhamma and Sangha.

Have a look at this :
http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma2/bds.html

If you can recite the refuge sincerely morning and evening for a period of time, then perhaps you could eventually add the recitation of the 5 precepts .

However, I think its important not to get panicked. The precepts are guidelines, not the 10 commandments, and I think Its good if you can keep just one of the precepts to begin with - and then gradually ease into the others.

As Wri observed previously : "A lot of these things will change on their own anyway as you become more devoted to Buddhism."

Regarding your comments about the eightfold path, you might find this resource useful:

http://www.buddhanet.net/pdf_file/4nobltru.pdf

Kind regards,

Aloka :anjali:
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Sam Vara
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by Sam Vara »

Have a look at this article by Nanaponika and the related suttas about effacing or eradicating defilements.
the Buddha, as a knower of the human heart, was well aware that such a single or even repeated resolve will not always be strong enough to stir people into action. Hence, as an encouragement to those who may feel disheartened by their failures, he speaks now of the importance of the "arising of thoughts" aiming at carrying out those acts of effacement. But again, these thoughts will not be effective unless they are regularly and systematically cultivated and are not allowed to lapse into oblivion. Then gradually they will be absorbed by our mind and heart, and we shall fully identify ourselves with those values. In that way these thoughts and aspirations will grow stronger and will be able to overcome the resistance of inertia and antagonistic forces, from within and without. The Master said: "To whatsoever one frequently gives attention and repeatedly reflects on, to that the mind will turn" (M. 19). The great German mystic of the Middle Ages, Meister Eckhart, goes even a step further by saying: "If you do not have the longing, have at least a longing for the longing."
Think as often as you can about what you want to achieve. Reflect on the fact that you have already made good progress if you know what the problems are, and how you would like to overcome them. How hard would things be if you were suffering, and didn't even have sufficient insight to know why, or what you need to do in order to escape from it? I found this article and the suttas very useful indeed:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/auth ... el061.html
I hope you succeeed, and will be sending you my very best wishes.
peterve
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by peterve »

Dr. Dukkha wrote:Personal Morality Questions

How do I begin to be a more moral, selfless person? How to ease into the five precepts. I take food that belongs to my sisters because of lack of self-control and eat a bunch of junk food uncontrolably. I lie because I like to exagurate things and give half-truths. I commit sexual immorality because I watch porn. I use intoxicants because of both religious reasons, social pressure and being naive. I try not to harm sentient beings but sometimes find my thoughts are intrusive and I think of violence.

How do I ease into the Eightfold path? I don't work, therefore I help none. I slack off on meditation sometimes and end quick or skip days so that is against Concentration and Mindfulness. I speak badly about people because of peer pressure. I also talk excessively and decievingly, sometime telling stories with a bit of spice to make them sounds cooler and more relevant. I act wrongly because I don't help anyone but myself. I don't have Right View because I am constantly trying to convince myself that Buddhism is false so I don't have to be responsible for my actions. I don't put effort in most things I do. I like to sleep in bed all day like an animal. And my intentions are awfully bad karma because I have a habit of thinking about bad things happening to others.
Hello Mr. Dukkha
Before trying to realize on five precepts, or noble eightfold path, you have to let go of the all the things you are addicted.
I am not saying to let go all of them all at once. It would be impossible. Even Lord Buddha took 6 years to attain Enlightenment.
Basically, you have to focus your mind and that can be achieved by meditation. Don't ignore meditation.
Lying or saying half truth: your must completely stop lying.
And you will be ready to move to Five precepts and Noble Eightfold Path and Noble Four Truths.
Thank You :namaste:
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sattva
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by sattva »

Hi. Hope your day is going well. It sounds like you have quite a few areas that are causing you problems. Sorry to hear that. It is always difficult to tackle problems and sometimes seems much more difficult when there is more than one area that needs work! I really don't know what you should do. What I think I might do if I were you, which of course I am not, is to pick one to work on first. Then, what I would do is to watch and observe thoroughly all the negative results of my behavior in that area. I believe the first real step to change is to thoroughly realize how miserable a certain action is making us, the problems a behavior is adding to our lives. Sometimes that is as subtle as just not feeling quite right, at other times, it can be as profound as people being quite upset with our behavior, and even such things as going to prison for our actions.

The other thing I might add is just that, to add something to your life. It is always easier to add a good behavior than to eradicate bad ones. Try adding 15 minutes of metta meditation for yourself each day and see how that goes. Eventually you can add others but for now just do it for yourself. Try to do one nice thing for someone each day, even if it isn't appreciated. You will start feeling better about yourself if you do.
Good luck! :anjali:
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Dr. Dukkha
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by Dr. Dukkha »

Thank you all for your lovely answers.
However, I am slightly confused. My local Theravadin monk says not to meditate until I have great morality. But Bhante Gunaratana says to not expect to be more moral until after practicing meditation regularly. I'm not sure what opinion to follow but I feel closer to Bhante Gunaratana's proposition. What do you guys think?
"There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting."
sattva
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by sattva »

Dr. Dukkha wrote:Thank you all for your lovely answers.
However, I am slightly confused. My local Theravadin monk says not to meditate until I have great morality. But Bhante Gunaratana says to not expect to be more moral until after practicing meditation regularly. I'm not sure what opinion to follow but I feel closer to Bhante Gunaratana's proposition. What do you guys think?
Are either of these people your teacher and are you either of their student? If so, I would listen to the person who is your teacher.
:anjali:
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Wri
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by Wri »

Dr. Dukkha wrote:Thank you all for your lovely answers.
However, I am slightly confused. My local Theravadin monk says not to meditate until I have great morality. But Bhante Gunaratana says to not expect to be more moral until after practicing meditation regularly. I'm not sure what opinion to follow but I feel closer to Bhante Gunaratana's proposition. What do you guys think?
Start the meditation first and see if your moral behavior improves after a period of a month or two. If you see no improvement at all, then try going for morality head on and leave meditation for other purposes, or for now, on the waiting list.
Keep your mind steady and rest within the winds of experience.
May I show unconditional love to all beings.
Digity
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by Digity »

The way I eased myself into it was picking one thing at a time. For instance, my biggest problem was right speech. I had a strong tendency to say stupid or hurtful things to people. I didn't necessarily intend to, but sometimes I did intend it. I had a really poor sense of how to talk and it would cause a lot of problems in my life. I decided to focus my attention on just that at first and worked on speaking more skillfully. To this day, I'm still working on it, but over time my relationships got more harmonious as I improved my speech. Some relationships are still quite strained due to some past actions in the area of speech. Regardless, I realized the truth of speaking skillfully and this gave me the encouragement and confidence to apply other aspects of the path like giving up alcohol, etc. Take it one step at a time. At the very least you're aware that you're currently being unskillful. That's a step in the right direction.
peterve
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by peterve »

Dr. Dukkha wrote:Thank you all for your lovely answers.
However, I am slightly confused. My local Theravadin monk says not to meditate until I have great morality. But Bhante Gunaratana says to not expect to be more moral until after practicing meditation regularly. I'm not sure what opinion to follow but I feel closer to Bhante Gunaratana's proposition. What do you guys think?
It depends on you Mr Dukkha.
If you feel closer to Bhante Gunatarana's proposition, IMO you should follow his proposition. Cuz until and unless you feel comfortable, confident on what you are doing, it will just trouble your mind, your meditation practice or your morality.
So if you are comfortable, and have little confidence on Bhante Gunaratana's proposition, then you should follow him.
:anjali: :namaste:
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dhammarelax
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by dhammarelax »

Dr. Dukkha wrote:Thank you all for your lovely answers.
However, I am slightly confused. My local Theravadin monk says not to meditate until I have great morality. But Bhante Gunaratana says to not expect to be more moral until after practicing meditation regularly. I'm not sure what opinion to follow but I feel closer to Bhante Gunaratana's proposition. What do you guys think?
The essence of the question lies in the relation that hindrances and breach of precepts have, from my experience whenever I break a precept I will have a lot of craving arise and I will have strong hindrances coming, when I eat outside the prescribed hours for example I see that happening, the other day I sprayed some weed killing liquid over some land, probably it also killed living beings so for a few days I had strong hindrances. Seeing that relation makes you realize that suffering follows evil, specially in meditation if you are breaking the precepts all the time then you will have bad experiences your mind will not be calmed and evil thoughts will plague you. So there is logic in both recommendations, it depends on the degree of your morality, trying to apply the four noble truths to all those evil unwholesome thoughts that will come after a breach of the precepts is not easy nor pleasant and can drive you away from meditation because is a specially unpleasant experience, but you can for example dedicate one day to following the precepts and meditate some in the afternoon or night to see how it goes. Remember that the Buddha taught that mental action is important so thinking of harming or thinking of saying lies or having unwholesome sexual thoughts also need to be refrained.

Bhante Vimalaramsi said:

From http://talks.dhammasukha.org/mn-020-jt1-060219.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

"…Ah, but a glass of wine is good after a meal or with a meal." Now, the precept says: "Don’t take any drugs or alcohol."
There’s a real good reason for that. You take drugs and alcohol, one: it dulls your mind out right then, and you have a tendency
to break the other precepts. But, more importantly, it affects your meditation in a negative way. Your mind gets dull for periods of
time, and that’s directly from taking alcohol. "Oh, it’s only one glass, once in a while it doesn’t matter." Yes it does, it does
matter. Don’t do that, not if you really want to purify your mind. Keep your precepts as closely as you possibly can, all of the time."

smile all the time
dhammarelax
Even if the flesh & blood in my body dry up, leaving just the skin, tendons, & bones, I will use all my human firmness, human persistence and human striving. There will be no relaxing my persistence until I am the first of my generation to attain full awakening in this lifetime. ed. AN 2.5
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ryanM
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Re: How to ease into Buddhist morality?

Post by ryanM »

meditation and morality support each other. meditation will give you the space you need in order to make 'moral' decisions. meditation isn't just sitting on a cushion. it can be practiced at all times. personally, i wouldn't take the precepts until you feel that you can abide by them. have the intention to keep them everyday, but by saying "I undertake the precept from..." and then breaking it doesn't seem to be very skillful. instead, maybe you could say in english, "May I follow [...] rule to the best of my abilities." Remember, this is the gradual training. I hope it's going well for you. You're already going in a good direction by even coming here and trying.


Ryan :hello:
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