My understanding is that unendearing & disagreeable speech is usually perceived as harsh speech by others and can be used synonymously.
Not so. Harsh speech is a speech you speak with harmful intention, with anger in your mind, with aversion, etc etc etc.
And unendearing & disagreeable speech can be just plain truth about something even if spoken mildly and gently
Agreed.
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Sam Vara wrote:
Dhammanando wrote:
I think that was probably harsh speech.
It probably was, but combines the harshness with beauty. I'm reluctant to recommend it, but can't help admiring it.
I used to have a book of Oscar Wilde quotes that I read over many a time. He was surely one of the sharpest wits ever to live. Here are some more of his gems.
Oscar Wilde wrote:Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
True friends stab you in the front.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.
Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
What are people's thoughts on how "a sense of shame" seen in dozens of suttas can apply to speech?
SN 1.18 wrote:“Is there a person somewhere in the world
Who is restrained by a sense of shame,
One who draws back from blame
As a good horse does from the whip?”
“Few are those restrained by a sense of shame
Who fare always mindful;
Few, having reached the end of suffering,
Fare evenly amidst the uneven.”
“Life is swept along, short is the life span; no shelters exist for one who has reached old age. Seeing clearly this danger in death, a seeker of peace should drop the world’s bait.” SN 1.3
Bhikkhu Bodhi wrote:The Buddha points to two mental qualities as the underlying safeguards of morality, thus as the protectors of both the individual and society as a whole. These two qualities are called in Pali hiri and ottappa. Hiri is an innate sense of shame over moral transgression; ottappa is moral dread, fear of the results of wrongdoing. The Buddha calls these two states the bright guardians of the world (sukka lokapala). He gives them this designation because as long as these two states prevail in people's hearts the moral standards of the world remain intact, while when their influence wanes the human world falls into unabashed promiscuity and violence, becoming almost indistinguishable from the animal realm (Itiv. 42).
While moral shame and fear of wrongdoing are united in the common task of protecting the mind from moral defilement, they differ in their individual characteristics and modes of operation. Hiri, the sense of shame, has an internal reference; it is rooted in self-respect and induces us to shrink from wrongdoing out of a feeling of personal honor. Ottappa, fear of wrongdoing, has an external orientation. It is the voice of conscience that warns us of the dire consequences of moral transgression: blame and punishment by others, the painful kammic results of evil deeds, the impediment to our desire for liberation from suffering.
I see actions of speech here and being inherently no different to actions of body and mind.
Metta,
Retro.
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
Bhikkhu Bodhi wrote:The Buddha points to two mental qualities as the underlying safeguards of morality, thus as the protectors of both the individual and society as a whole. These two qualities are called in Pali hiri and ottappa. Hiri is an innate sense of shame over moral transgression; ottappa is moral dread, fear of the results of wrongdoing. The Buddha calls these two states the bright guardians of the world (sukka lokapala). He gives them this designation because as long as these two states prevail in people's hearts the moral standards of the world remain intact, while when their influence wanes the human world falls into unabashed promiscuity and violence, becoming almost indistinguishable from the animal realm (Itiv. 42).
While moral shame and fear of wrongdoing are united in the common task of protecting the mind from moral defilement, they differ in their individual characteristics and modes of operation. Hiri, the sense of shame, has an internal reference; it is rooted in self-respect and induces us to shrink from wrongdoing out of a feeling of personal honor. Ottappa, fear of wrongdoing, has an external orientation. It is the voice of conscience that warns us of the dire consequences of moral transgression: blame and punishment by others, the painful kammic results of evil deeds, the impediment to our desire for liberation from suffering.
I see actions of speech here and being inherently no different to actions of body and mind.
Good find, retro.
“Life is swept along, short is the life span; no shelters exist for one who has reached old age. Seeing clearly this danger in death, a seeker of peace should drop the world’s bait.” SN 1.3
Thanissaro Bhikkhu wrote:Lying is never skillful, but with divisive speech, coarse speech and idle chatter there are a few cases where the you can engage in them, but you have to know a sense of moderation. This doesn’t mean that you do them a little bit. You engage in them only when you’re confident that your intention is skillful, when you have to speak harshly with somebody, when you have to warn them about someone who could take advantage of them, and when you have to engage in friendly chatter to keep the group going smoothly. But those are areas where you have to be very, very careful.
From: Between Either & Or by Thanissaro Bhikkhu