Ethics and parents
Re: Ethics and parents
In terms of the effect on your practice, you might soften your stance with some Metta in your meditation. That's easy advice to give. My next thought is that moments like this in life are an opportunity to expand and illuminate one's practice. The Buddha taught the truth of dukkha and the cessation of dukkha. Your father is a walking basket of dukkha and samsara, and for this you can cultivate compassion for him. However, you should also approach this meeting with wisdom, as well, as I believe the Buddha cautions that compassion without wisdom is unskillful. Your Dad has the ability to hurt you, and he has hurt you in the past...you needn't open yourself so widely that you end up in more pain.identification wrote:My father that I never met recently contacted me after 21 years. He is planning on visiting for my birthday. In Buddhism I'm told that parents are very important. However, the buddha has also recommended no friendship with fools. He seems to care about me, but the issue is his long history of crime, drugs, violence, gangs, long prison sentences, fascination with guns, family members being murdered, basically hell on earth. Now I don't look down on him or anything, but I'm worried this may be a hindrance to my practice. Any advice?
Prepare yourself a bit for the meeting, and read, for example, the book that Robert K suggested, or review some of the tips in this article: http://fatherhood.about.com/od/estrange ... r-Work.htm If it helps, have someone that you trust be a moderator or mediator during these first meetings. Depending on the comfort of the meetings as time goes on, you can then segue into meeting with him one on one, and build on the reunification in process.