suffering from interminable bullying

General discussion of issues related to Theravada Training of Sila, the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).

suffering from interminable bullying

Postby mario92 » Wed Mar 05, 2014 11:14 pm

I suffer bullying from a person that hurts me so much saying evil words towards me at my back and i hear it a lot, i also feels lots of anger andd hatred towards that person who is poisonous, i was also very sad i am also in the class with some tension and stress because of his presence, what to do? Change from school or class? Tell to the teacher? I cannot attain prosperity without making a change. Thank you
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Re: suffering from interminable bullying

Postby Ben » Wed Mar 05, 2014 11:20 pm

You need to tell a teacher or someone in authority.
In the meantime, try and extend compassion to your adversary. If it is too intense, you may wish to consider removing yourself from the environment where this person is located.
Wishing you all the best,
Ben
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.

Taṃ nadīhi vijānātha:
sobbhesu padaresu ca,
saṇantā yanti kusobbhā,
tuṇhīyanti mahodadhī.

Sutta Nipata 3.725


Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR
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e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com
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Re: suffering from interminable bullying

Postby mario92 » Wed Mar 05, 2014 11:56 pm

thats what i really need Ben thank you very much for your advice :namaste:
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Re: suffering from interminable bullying

Postby Ben » Thu Mar 06, 2014 12:59 am

You are welcome, Mario.
Remember, you are not alone.
I wish you all the best with your situation.
With metta,
Ben
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.

Taṃ nadīhi vijānātha:
sobbhesu padaresu ca,
saṇantā yanti kusobbhā,
tuṇhīyanti mahodadhī.

Sutta Nipata 3.725


Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR
Buddhist Life Stories of Australia

e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com
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Re: suffering from interminable bullying

Postby SarathW » Thu Mar 06, 2014 3:34 am

Painful memories. If, while you’re meditating, your mind is overwhelmed with the
memory of someone who harmed you, remind yourself that one of the best gifts you can
give yourself is to forgive that person. This doesn’t mean that you have to feel love for that
person, simply that you promise yourself not to seek revenge for what that person did.
You’re better off not trying to settle old scores, for scores in life—as opposed to sports—
never come to a final tally. The wisest course is to unburden yourself of the weight of
resentment and cut the cycle of retribution that would otherwise keep you ensnarled in an
ugly back and forth that could go on for years. Express a brief phrase of goodwill for the
person—“May you mend your ways and follow the path to true happiness”—and then
return to the breath.

http://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/Writ ... 130123.pdf
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Re: suffering from interminable bullying

Postby alan » Thu Mar 06, 2014 4:11 am

You have to speak out. Most people will be on your side, if only they know what you are going through.
I've noticed that most bullies act strong, but are not smart. Use that to your advantage.
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Re: suffering from interminable bullying

Postby pegembara » Thu Mar 06, 2014 5:09 am

Don't allow anger and hatred to take root. Do whatever is needed so that these negative states don't arise. Report to those who can help you.

Guard your mind against an outburst of wrong feelings. Keep your mind controlled. Renouncing evil thoughts, develop purity of mind.
— Dhp., v. 233

He abused me, he beat me, he defeated me, he robbed me of my property. Whosoever harbor such thoughts will never be able to still their enmity.

Never indeed is hatred stilled by hatred; it will only be stilled by non-hatred — this is an eternal law.

— Dhp., vv. 4-5
And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech.
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Re: suffering from interminable bullying

Postby Modus.Ponens » Thu Mar 06, 2014 9:09 am

I'm sorry for hearing about your situation.

My advice is that you complain to the teacher. If you don't have important friends in this class, it's best that you get out of there if it doesn't stop.

Meanwhile try to learn brazilian jiu jitsu. It's a self deffense martial art, but only surpassed in efficacy by mixed martial arts. There's a philosophy of nonviolence until the last resort. It will give you enough confidence so that what bullies say is laughable.

It's true that anger is harmful. But being bullied can be highly damaging to the person being bullied. Much more than the temporary anger. The bullying has to stop now. If you can do it in a non violent way, do it.

But violence has to be on the table, as a last resort. These guys only understand violence. If you need to "speak" to them, you have to do it through violence or, at least, implied violence.
And the Blessed One addressed the bhikkhus, saying: "Behold now, bhikkhus, I exhort you: All compounded things are subject to vanish. Strive with earnestness!"
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